Sunday Post 155: Totally Fulfilled…by a Fart

In the fourth grade, Wendy Templeton farted… out loud. We had our books out, focused on our Scholastic readers. Her row of desks was facing mine. She was wearing a short red dress. Mrs. McNally, our stodgy old teacher who was nearing retirement, was at her desk in the front of the class. She was wearing a large, black pleated skirt down to her ankles. Damn that was a lot of fabric.

I couldn’t believe it… she just let one rip! It was loouud; I guess it echoed on the metal of her chair.

I felt bad. She was so embarrassed. Her light complexion turned the same color as her dress. She slouched in her seat and propped up her folder to cover her head.

I tried not to laugh, she was my friend. But when Mrs. McNally announced, “Get back to work, it’s a natural bodily function,” I lost it.

I don’t care how natural it was, it was also hilarious. I was sent to the hall, unable to contain my amusement with Wendy’s wind.

Farts are still funny to me. I’ll be in a bathroom at work or church and some old man will let one rip. It’s all I can do to make it out of the bathroom without audibly cracking up.

Once a boy, always a boy I guess.

Maybe it would serve us all well to be more like kids. I don’t mean we should all laugh when someone passes gas. The older we get, the more that’s gonna happen – certainly it will get old eventually.

But isn’t it beautiful to be amused by such small surprises? How wonderful to be totally fulfilled by a fart.

Now, it takes so much more – an expensive house, vacation, kids with straight A’s, 106 Facebook likes, the right job title.

It used to be so simple. Joy, amusement, laughter, and life seemed endless – striking me from every direction.

When and why do I let that go?

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10 Comments

  1. Mel Ham

     /  January 26, 2014

    Dog poo and flatulence the stuff of little boy humor.

    Reply
  2. The girl in me still laughs at farts and now that I have kids, I find poop funnier than ever!

    Reply
  3. This made me laugh out loud!

    Reply
  4. Greatness! My mom hates bodily functions and humor, so naturally… Several years ago when our kids were little I taught them how to take a straw and put one end in their mouth and the other in the crook of their elbow. You get great noises from that and my mom was so not amused!

    Reply
  5. I read this and was literally brought to tears from laughter! I too had the misfortune of farting in class, 6th grade mind you!! When the teacher left the room for a moment, she put my friend David in charge of writing anyone’s name on the chalk board who made a sound. Good Lord, I prayed after my echoing butt rupture that David would not laugh his way to the board to plaster my name up there for the entire school to see! I thought I was going to die! Farts are just funny little things! I don’t care how old I get, when I fart or hear someone else fart………….. the comments, giggles and laughter MUST follow!!

    Great post! I loved it!!

    Reply

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