A couple of weeks ago a fellow blogger left me a comment. She wrote, “Your writing is tired. I used to enjoy reading your stuff but not anymore. You should stop writing.”
OUCH! That one hurt.
I mean, she didn’t disagree with my take on things, she didn’t tell me she hated a particular post, she told me to stop writing.
Her comment made me think a bit about how I share criticism. I know I am pretty outspoken and share my opinions freely, but I also think I’m pretty good at making sure I give feedback that’s constructive rather than just smashing folks.
I kept my niece and nephew for the day recently. She is three, he is five. They’re great kids! He is, however, the loudest person I’ve ever met. If there is an item in the house that might possibly resemble a drum in any way, shape or form, he will beat it. Like, he’ll be the mess out of it.
His sister, my god-daughter, is a cute, sweet little one. She’ll look at you with those beautiful big eyes, give you a huge hug, and then go hit her brother in the head with a stainless steel bowl.
It was then that I sort of lost my temper, cause she’d done it before just a few minutes earlier. I do love kids. I also love them to do what I tell them to do. When she didn’t, she got the raised voice and a little time out.
When her five minutes were over, I pulled her into my lap and I said, “You know, I LOVE YOU! But I don’t like it when you hit your brother. It hurts him, you can’t do that.” We hugged and headed to the den to play a sweet game of Monkey’s In A Barrel.
As I was talking with Kinsey after her infraction, two of my kids yelled down from upstairs, “Dad – we’ve heard that before! You always told us you loved us after you yelled at us for doing something wrong.”
It’s not that I think you should hold back from expressing frustration or dolling out criticism. But I work to make sure the person I’m criticising knows it’s their specific action that is causing me strife, not their whole self.
That being said, perhaps my fellow blogger was not saying she didn’t like me. Perhaps she was just telling me my entire repertoire of writing is lacking. That it’s only my writing that stinks.
If I the goal of my blog was to please her, I’d quit. But it’s not. I just enjoy writing – it’s a hobby like knitting. I’m sure not all sweaters turn out perfect.
And by the way lady, it’s free. You no likie? Read something else.
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