The Plastic Bunny Cup

Posted by Danny

This is what our dinner table used to look like.  Well, not exactly.  But it was a lot better than this: 

pathetic

I see a steady decline in our decorum at the table.  Not only is the setting less than it used to be, the manners have slipped a bit too.  We had to make a rule that there could be no bodily functions during dinner.  That WAS NOT a problem a year or so ago.

We used to eat at our table on most nights.  We now sit at the bar in the kitchen.  I have no problem with that, but let me describe:

*Cups:  One wine glass (that’s mine), one NC State cup (if I’m making the drinks I strategically choose that one for Jesse since he’s a huge Carolina fan), two Camp Seafarer cups, and one with a cartoon bunny on the side.

*Plates:  Usually plastic, not always matching.

“Napkins:  The other day I sat down to find a cocktail napkin by my fork.  That is not big enough to wipe MY mouth  and it CERTAINLY isn’t going to make a dent in Jesse’s.

*Silverware:  Could be a mix of our better stuff and what’s left of the set I took to college in 1984.

I’m a man who likes the finer things in life:  an $8 bottle of Pinot Noir. Vanity Fair dinner napkins (ok, I did have to go to the pantry to find the name brand – but they’re cushy), hard plastic plates that match, forks that don’t break in your mouth.  Cups with no bunnies.  I most enjoy dining at my mother-in-law’s house.  She is refined.  My wife was refined.  Jesse, not so much.

I’m going to try to take our dining experience up a notch.  I fear our inability to teach appropriate etiquette could very well negatively affect my daughters’ abilities to find husbands in their future.  On the brighter side, they should be poised to raise sons.

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13 Comments

  1. Leslie

     /  January 14, 2011

    I guarantee that your crew still has better manners than my boys (well at least the girls!)…I have actually lowered my standards so the basic rule is you must wear a shirt at the dinner table (otherwise mine is coming off too and that’s not a pretty sight!)

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 15, 2011

      I could see Brad eating dinner without a shirt! I think that’s a good rule.

      Reply
  2. Barbara Rogers

     /  January 14, 2011

    Bruce,I am in awe of your writing ability. In just a couple of days of reading your clever messages I have decided you are good enough as an author to give up your day-job and write for a living!!! (Jean and Wayne must be so proud of you. You are a chip off the “old” block!) You may not remember me. Twenty years ago Lawton and I moved to Mt. Pleasant,SC to be daycare for our grandsons, Deedee’s boys. I still miss all our friends at Snyder so much!!! Thanks for sharing your “gift” with all of us!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 15, 2011

      You are still as sweet as I remember you when I was a child. Tell your family hello!

      Reply
  3. Jenny

     /  January 15, 2011

    I’m impressed that you can keep two plastic cups that match. We sure can’t. The Seafarer cups are a bit scary. Not sure we’d want to know what makes them change color when liquid is poured in them.

    Reply
  4. Faye Humphrey

     /  January 15, 2011

    Bruce,

    I really admire your table setting skills. Amy Vanderbilt would be proud! You are doing such a good job with your girls and I am proud of you. Love your blog!

    Reply
  5. ThunderBear

     /  January 15, 2011

    It is refreshing to see that others deal with bodily functions at the dinner table! One tends to be a bit embarrassed when thinking of their child possibly breaking wind or belching the ABC’s at the dinner table of a friend’s house. I have to say, if I were a perspective suiter and saw how laid back and casual the dinning atmosphere was at the old Tanner family home—well, that would put myself right at ease—AHHH these are my kind of people! Just to share, I had a wonderful Mother-in-Law who was very particular on the proper setting of a dinner table (a little obsessed with it actually). For fun, when we had family dinners and I was given the respnsiblity of setting the table, I always put the napkin and fork on the right and the spoon and knife on the left sides of the dinner plates. I would walk away for a bit and upon my return everything had been switched to it’s proper place with never a word mentioned. I got way too much pleasure out of this. I still wonder if she really thought I didn’t know any better?!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 15, 2011

      I am guessing that anyone reading this blog will have doubts about wanting to join this family -EVER.

      Reply
  6. Let’s be clear: the lack of decorum at the table is a lot less about lack of a female and a lot more about lack of a backbone by certain heads of household. I have even been OVERRULED when I thought someone’s light vegetable consumption did not merit a dessert.

    Reply
  7. Catron Horton

     /  June 20, 2012

    Daddy used to make Phoebe eat with a mirror in front of her to show how gross it was when she chewed with her mouth open! 🙂 He also told me that I ate my rolls like a squirrel and I’d have a hard time finding a husband. I still eat my rolls like a squirrel but Wyatt is ok with it and the mirror thing seemed to work out for Phoebe!

    I somehow just now stumbled upon this gem of a blog. I am loving the Danny & Uncle Jesse humor. You fellas are amazing.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 20, 2012

      I ride by your parent’s house three times a week! Hope you are well!

      Reply

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