Posted by Danny
Thursday night as I was putting Stephanie to bed, big tears came to her eyes and she said “It’s just not fair.”
“What’s not fair baby?”
“It’s not fair that mommy died.”
She’s right. It’s not fair. It’s also not fair that we have a warm house to live in and some people live on the street. It’s also not fair that we live in the United States and there are those who live in Haiti – still in tents a year after a devastating earthquake tore their island apart. It’s not fair that innocent bystanders get killed by senseless acts of violence.
We talked about how the world was unfair. I asked Stephanie if she would rather live in a world where everything was fair – everyone having the same exact house, the same talents, the same clothes, the same amount of money, and exactly two tragedies per family. A very fair world. We agreed that would not be a great place to live.
I’m not sure why God allowed Lisa to die. And I’ve thought about it a lot.
Maybe He knows that heaven is a better place so He doesn’t stop disease from taking a young life. He knows she’s ok with Him.
Or maybe He knows that something good could come of this – What if Stephanie becomes a scientist and discovers the cure to cancer simply because the loss of her mother motivated her to pursue that career? Selfishly, I’m not sure I’d trade my wife’s life for the cure to cancer. But it’s something to ponder. Maybe that’s why He didn’t step in.
I don’t think I believe that God makes horrible things happen. What I do believe is that something greater than me has given me the strength to get through the past 10 months. I’m just not strong enough to have made it through this alone. If it were simply up to me, I’d be in bed feeling sorry for myself. And I’ve seen that – it’s not pretty.