Sunday Post 1: It’s Not Fair

Posted by Danny

Thursday night as I was putting Stephanie to bed, big tears came to her eyes and she said “It’s just not fair.” 

“What’s not fair baby?” 

 “It’s not fair that mommy died.”

She’s right.  It’s not fair.  It’s also not fair that we have a warm house to live in and some people live on the street.  It’s also not fair that we live in the United States and there are those who live in Haiti – still in tents a year after a devastating earthquake tore their island apart.  It’s not fair that innocent bystanders get killed by senseless acts of violence.

We talked about how the world was unfair.  I asked Stephanie if she would rather live in a world where everything was fair – everyone having the same exact house, the same talents, the same clothes, the same amount of money, and exactly two tragedies per family.  A very fair world.  We agreed that would not be a great place to live. 

I’m not sure why God allowed Lisa to die.  And I’ve thought about it a lot. 

Maybe He knows that heaven is a better place so He doesn’t stop disease from taking a young life.  He knows she’s ok with Him. 

Or maybe He knows that something good could come of this –  What if Stephanie becomes a scientist and discovers the cure to cancer simply because the loss of her mother motivated her to pursue that career?  Selfishly, I’m not sure I’d trade my wife’s life for the cure to cancer.  But it’s something to ponder.  Maybe that’s why He didn’t step in.

I don’t think I believe that God makes horrible things happen.    What I do believe is that something greater than me has given me the strength to get through the past 10 months.   I’m just not strong enough to have made it through this alone.  If it were simply up to me, I’d be in bed feeling sorry for myself.  And I’ve seen that – it’s not pretty.

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  1. Mel Ham

     /  January 16, 2011

    I am touched and proud. You have come a long way baby. I hear Lisa’s logic and yours too in your comforting that wonderful child. Believe it. Love much Mel

  2. Barbara Rogers

     /  January 16, 2011

    I am in awe of your wisdom and grace!!! Your girls are in wonderful hands as they grow up in your care! And I am so glad you thought of writing this blog. It is theraputic for you, but it is inspiring and reassuring to those of us who know and love you. May God grant you the words to answer any question the girls may have and the love to cover and heal every pain of their hearts.

  3. Patty Thomson

     /  January 16, 2011

    Oh, my goodness!! I ran into Jean and Wayne after church and Wayne asked if I had read this last writing. I had not because I started at the first and am not quite caught up. He said, “Skip over, and you will be glad.” Well, my sweet dear MAN!! All I can say is that God is using you in a very big way. Lisa’s body is not with you all, but her spirit and love are very evident. I am glad I skipped ahead. Little did I realize when you were a young fellow, that you would be so wise. I knew you were loving and caring and yes a little onery too, but how proud I am that you are in there fighting for your girls. prayers have gone up for you from this old gal since you first came into my life and have never stopped. thank you for sharing your life with others who can see by your example that none of us can do this thing called life alone but it can be done if we all stick together and share ideas and experiences. I love you all!!

    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 16, 2011

      You are a hero to me Ms. Patty. Thanks for your prayers and don’t stop now.

  4. Dotty

     /  January 18, 2011

    Hey Man! You are amazing me! I always knew you were strong from the moment you learned how to slalom and believe me you are getting even stronger! I heard a song on the radio yesterday that made me think of you and Lisa and I mentioned it to Gracey and we both agreed. You, Lisa and your family made an impression on my little girl and she thinks of you all often. Keep it going Bruce. I love ya like a brother!

    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 19, 2011

      thanks for the encouragement. Some days it is really, really needed!


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