Privacy Please!

Posted by Danny

We have five full bathrooms in our house.  Five.  Two upstairs, one in Jesse’s room, one in my room and one in the basement.  Why then does the family congregate in my private space?

When Lisa was in the bathroom, no one bothered her.  She might as well have been in Kosovo – she was UNAVAILABLE for questions,  comments, visits, or interactions with other humans or animals.  You did not knock, you did not barge in.  It was her time.  That is apparently not the case with me.

The other day I was having some “Newsweek” time in the bathroom.  Suddenly the herd entered which is not unusual – two of my children with critically pressing questions that had to be answered immediately.  The door opened.

“Can I have some water?”

“Me too.”

“Let’s get this straight people.  Two things:  Number 1.  If you ever want water, you can have it.  It is free.  Just walk to the kitchen – morning, noon, midnight – winter, spring, summer or fall – and drink all  you want.  Whenever you want.  You do not need permission for water.  You do not need to interrupt anything I’m doing to ask for water.  Have at it.  Number 2.  DON’T COME IN  THE BATHROOM DURING NUMBER 2!  Thank you and please close the door as you are leaving.”

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  1. Matt

     /  January 28, 2011

    Perhaps the problem is language. According to Michelle, isn’t number 2 “emergency tee tee”?

    Maybe the rule should be no disturbing Danny while he’s doing a 3 or above?

  2. Aunt Susan

     /  January 28, 2011

    But Danny. they LOVE you and want to tell you that all the time!

  3. Dotty

     /  January 29, 2011

    You are killin’ me! Locks maybe, Randy never goes in the bathroom without using them, but then again, no one ever dares to enter the bathroom when Randy is in there anyway! No Do Not Enter sign needed!

    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 29, 2011

      Locks – that’s an interesting thought!!! I’ve got em, why not use them?

  4. Paige T

     /  January 29, 2011

    ok, first of all, i am laughing so loud I hope I don’t wake anyone. Second, the lesson has to be lock the doors behind you. Lisa would be mortified if she thought her girls were walking in on you Danny doing 1 much less 2.

    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 29, 2011

      She’d roll her eyes and tell me it’s my own fault. And she’d be right.


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