Someone to Call

Tonight we’re at the Great Wolf Lodge. (Read my next post for an explanation).  We took the trip with seven other dads and their 8-year-old daughters.  We shared a room with a buddy of mine and at about 9:30, his daughter said she wanted to call her mom.  We’ve always done the same on any father/daughter trip or campout for the past ten years.  They began a nice conversation and Michelle immediately came over to me and asked if she could call Uncle Jesse.  I don’t think she was specifically missing Lisa, she did not tear up.  She just wanted someone back home to be interested in what she was doing.  She wanted someone back home to say, “I miss you.  I love you.”

These situations are unavoidable.  Other kids get to call their moms and shouldn’t have to sneak around us to do so.  Our waitress today asked the table of 8 fathers and their daughters where our wives were – it was an innocent question.  I don’t want people to tip toe around us or to flinch when the “M” word is spoken.  We have to learn to live in a world where 95% of kids who are 8 have mothers who are alive and well – and thank God for that.

But it is times like these that I see the small ways that the loss of a mother becomes taxing on a child.  It’s also  times like these that I am so thankful for Jesse.  We’re really blessed to have him right now.  It doesn’t matter what he says to her at 10 pm on a Saturday night; she’s got someone to call.

And I’ve learned a valuable lesson too:  think of the things that my kids may miss out on, even the small stuff, and figure out a way to compensate.  It’s not that hard if I would just be alert and think it through in advance.  I’m a pretty intuitive dude.  I can figure this out.

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8 Comments

  1. Jean

     /  January 31, 2011

    Yes, you will figure it out because you are doing that every day of their lives. You are doing a good job with this because you are tuned into these girls and their needs. Always have been. That’s why Lisa knew that they would be ok with you. Good job,Dad.

    Reply
  2. Christine

     /  January 31, 2011

    love it! Way to go Michelle; I think that is huge…Uncle Jesse and Danny are doing an amazing job…we are always praying for you all!

    Reply
  3. Scott E.

     /  January 31, 2011

    I’ve read through your posting the last few days and others from you and Uncle Jesse too. I really admire your honesty and uncanny intuition – ability to see through to the heart of the matter on things. It takes a sledgehammer on me, even after all these years.

    You have a tremendous daily witness to all who read here, especially regarding your prayer life and tussles with God. I’ve got to believe that He wants us to communicate with Him, to question Him, even to call Him names.

    Yours kids are fortunate to have a Daddy like you.

    BTW, Rachel follows “The Real Full House” daily. When I am in from of a computer, she often asks if I am reading it.

    Reply
  4. elizabeth

     /  January 31, 2011

    Calling Uncle Jesse always makes the DeLoaches feel better too…

    Reply
  5. Beautiful post. Clearly you are a good dad; planning how to compensate proves it. I lost my mom at age 36 and still miss her every day. Reading your blog reminds me to be grateful for the time I did have with her, instead of focusing on what I missed out on. Thanks for the perspective.

    Reply
  6. “It doesn’t matter what he says to her at 10 pm on a Saturday night; she’s got someone to call.”

    That’s a lovely line. Sometimes despite all the lousy in this world, small things like that can be the safety net people, especially children, need.

    Reply
  7. what is your phone number

    Reply

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