Dads Against Daughters Dating

Posted by Danny

This is my favorite t-shirt.  D.A.D.D.:  Dads Against Daughters Dating. 

Two summers ago, DJ was at the beach with friends.  I received a call from her in the middle of the day.  I was at work.  “Dad, I found a t-shirt I think you’re really going to like.  It says Dads Against Daughters Dating.  It’s $11.  Do you want me to buy it?”

“Are you crazy?  Buy two!!  I’ll have the money waiting for you when you walk in the door.”  Every time I wear it a father comes up to me to find out where I got it.  I proudly announce that my oldest daughter bought it for me.

I guess I have dating on my mind this week because the school dance is on Friday.  I’m fine for DJ to go.  I just don’t want her to go with a boy.  And frankly, I’d just assume her not dance with one either. 

I used to share my dating philosophy with Lisa.  She would home-school the girls when they got old enough to date.  That would insure that there weren’t a lot of opportunities for them to meet the fellas.  They would attend Meredith College, two blocks from our house.  I’d drop them off on my way to work.  After class, they’d wait in the library until I could swing by and pick them up at about 5:30.  We’d come home, start their homework and watch a family movie each night at 10.  

The thought of Lisa homeschooling our kids really does bring a smile to my face.  I’m not sure exactly what would have happened, but I can assure you it would not have been pretty.  And she would readily admit that as I dreamed out loud.

I’m a sap.  I can never give my girls away at their weddings.  I was once in a wedding when the minister asked the father of the bride, “Who gives this bride to be married?”  And the dad responded, “Her mother.”  That’s my kind of man!  I was so counting on Lisa to do the heavy lifting on that special day.  This just adds to my angst about dating.  It just ain’t happenin’ on Dellwood Drive.

I chaperoned the school dance DJ’s sixth grade year.  Lisa was running the student council at school and asked if I’d help.  I gladly volunteered. 

I perched on the bleachers in the gym high enough up to see the goings on.  The principal of the middle school was a hawk – I admired her so.  It’s a Christian School so she could rightfully walk through the crowd during the slow dance yelling, “Leave room for Jesus!  Leave room for Jesus!”  The kids laughed, but their arms got stiffer, exactly as Mrs. Reedy had planned. 

When I would see one of those beady eyed eighth grade boys snuggling up a bit too close, I’d leave my seat and stroll close to him.  I was sure to catch his eye.  A cold stare from a forty-year old.  Brow furroughed.  Chest poked out.  Eventually the kid would get uncomfortable.  Was it my demeanor?  Or was he just freaked out by the weirdo in the gym?  Didn’t matter. 

Yeah.  Back away buddy – You heard me.  They’d break up and head over to the opposite end of the gym.  My job was done.

I felt I owed it to all of the other fathers who weren’t allowed to attend the dance.  My stare was for all of them.  My presence was a message to all those young boys.  Don’t get too close to our daughters!  Or else.

We have to look after each other guys.  If you see a dude at the mall making out with his girl, it’s your duty to intervene.  Wouldn’t you want that if it was your daughter?  Walk right up – demand that they stop.  Offer to call her father, she’s probably dying to get away.  Call the cops if necessary.  This is important. 

Get out there men!  Take a stand.

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155 Comments

  1. Mom

     /  February 4, 2011

    Love it! Love it! But then I am a grandmother. I would love it.

    Reply
    • I don’t even have a daughter and I love it. I need a t-shirt that says, “Moms Against Your Daughters Dating my Sons”! A bit wordy though. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Hey, I’m a M.A.S.D.

    Mom’s against sons dating. I wish I could just look him up in his room.^^

    Reply
  3. I’m doing a Google search in a few: Must buy a MADD t-shirt for this Mom Against Daughter Dating!

    🙂

    Reply
  4. You are so funny and right on! I feel better knowing you’ll be there interrupting my kids’ PDA.

    Reply
  5. I know this is meant to be comical, but it bothers me. What are you aiming at by trying to keep these guys away from your daughters? Trying to keep them virgins? I guess that’s fine but what about the other possible effects — keeping them from being able to get close to men/boys maybe keeping them from being able to understand men to the point that they will be able to chose a good partner someday. And you don’t want to give your daughter away at her wedding? What the heck? Don’t you want the girl to fall in love and be able to start a family of her own? As I wrote, I know you are being humorous, but it concerns me. And I’m kind of worried about your girls. My best friend had a dad like this and she has 4 sisters. You know what she does? She dates D-bags and just hides it from her dad. And she’s 30 years old. Don’t you want to be involved in your daughters lives? If so, having a healthy involvement in their dating lives and subsequent relationships is a good idea.

    Reply
    • I think you hit the nail on the head with your first point: it is meant to be comical. Danny is overprotective of his girls on all fronts, not just boys. I’m also around making sure he is a bit more of realist than he lets on here. I’ll encourage him to write more about his coming to grips with the realities of his daughters growing up. After all, Full House added “Steve” after a couple of seasons, right? Thanks for reading!

      Reply
      • Thanks for your reply to CrystalSpins! I’m from a conservative family with a protective mom and dad, and I’m not badly scarred because of it. I was even home schooled ;)I’m glad my parents exerted the effort to keep me from ending up on the next season of “16 & Pregnant”.

      • Aunt Kimbo

         /  February 7, 2011

        Uncle Jesse is too kind. I suggest CrystalSpins should check to see if her funny bone has gone amiss.

      • My dad didn’t protect me at all, and I definitely ended up with a dirtbag for awhile, so I’m all for protective fathers… as long as the girls know they’re loved and as long as they hold their dad in high regard, I applaud protective parenting.

      • Thanks for your response, Steve — both your kindness and your perspective are welcome. And thank you for not jumping to me not having a funny bone. I did think this was funny! It just struck a chord other than that. I was genuinely curious about the idea of protecting a daughter to such an extent although it may have come off as a judgement that the author is doing something wrong.

        And I realize that I did suggest that. I’m sorry if it was offensive. I would love to know more about coming to grips with the daughters growing up. I’d also love some insight on being involved in the dating relationships of the daughters.

        What kind of guy do you want to be dating your daughters? I guess I meant to suggest that I think focusing on helping your daughters pick a good man is a better use of your time than trying to keep them away from men.

        I must say, I wish my parents had helped me out with that one.

    • obsidianfactory

       /  February 7, 2011

      Something about this doesn’t really seem right. I know it is supposed to be humorous but it seems the opposite. Now, I really don’t like young people (I’m included in this group) to recklessly have dates and sexual relationships but I gotta agree with Crystal on this.

      It just sounds TOO Controlling. I’m not saying DATE but really it seems they are living CAGED lives and Crystal is right — I mean NO INTERACTIONS DOES NOT MEAN SAFETY — it can actually lead to harm.

      I just think also it is unfair to assume that youth of both sexes are well ONLY THINKING ABOUT SEX. I think that parental monitoring is a necessity but this sort of action may lead to ample complications later on.

      Young people, of both sexes, need to know their boundaries yet also have independent strength to carry on in life.

      {Also I think Females are as Dangerous of the Males of many Species so yes it is not really mature to only censure young boys for this kind of behaviour}

      I am happy you want to stay involved but growth is also a facet of life ^_^

      Reply
      • You obviously are not a father 🙂

      • I understand that some fathers are too controlling, but I think you are taking your response too far. Did you notice that this chaperoning was taking place in sixth grade and he was keeping them away from eighth graders? I personally think dating in middle school was, is, and always will be ridiculous.

        I come from a pretty conservative family and even though I had times when I was frustrated by it, I think I turned out pretty well and I love and respect my parents more for it… and I’m only 20 so I’m not saying this as a much older adult.

        On top of that now that I’m older my parents have let me choose my boyfriends and respect my decisions. Give the daughters time to grow up before you give their dads grief for protecting them.

    • Herb

       /  February 7, 2011

      Great post- hey ,all dads know most young men have a chemical imbalance at that age. We’ve been there ! So, we kmow these guys are after the Goodies. And we are watching them.
      I gotta get a t- shirt like that. Too bad you werent selling t- shirts, you could have made some money.

      Reply
    • I agree. Fathers always seem to think they’re being funny, but overprotection can really end up hurting children. I don’t think that middle school dance will end up being a good memory for any of them.

      Reply
    • QuackieChau

       /  February 7, 2011

      I think that if he can have enough of a sense of humor to write a humorous post on dating, he’s merely being “protective,” rather than “overprotective” or “overbearing,” and a little bit of protection is good for his daughters.

      I think it’s sweet.

      Besides, all fathers feel that way on some level. And it sounds like he has a good relationship with his daughters. One of them did buy him the Tshirt, after all. And she was still allowed to go to the boy-girl dance.

      Reply
      • Jean

         /  February 7, 2011

        Let me assure you that these girls are very social and have both boy and girl friends. None of them are old enough to date but when they are, they will certainly date. DJ had a boy-girl birthday party this past year with a few other girlfirends and had a ball. Danny also wouldn’t miss their wedding. It’s a family joke and everyone knows it, including the girls, who get a kick out of teasing their Dad about it. If you have not picked up it up yet on the blog, this family jokes and teases each other on all the time. It is a fun house to live in. Just know that this Dad is concerned about doing what’s best for his girls and they know it but he is not an overprotective parent. He is a funny, loving parent whose kids think he is the best dad ever.

    • Steph

       /  February 7, 2011

      I agree completly with what you are saying. This little rant made me sick. I did not find it funny at all.

      Reply
    • From my personal experience trying to raise stepdaughters, I found that those that don’t have a father figure in their life spend years making the wrong decisions with men, and being intimate with many of them. They respect the boundries their fathers set and they are looking for a close relationship with their fathers. My youngest step daughter didn’t start dating until she was 18 and I am proud of the decisions she has made when dating. I had some strict boundries, but I feel she is doing well.

      Reply
    • I’m personally of the opinion that young girls shouldn’t date. Honestly high school guys are immature and not worth a girl’s time. Not to mention that nothing really ever comes of it. Yes, admittedly there will be a one in a million chance to marry your high school sweetheart but guess what? Those marriages don’t usually end well.

      I’m definitely not going to date until I’m old enough that my relationships are serious and actually have the intent that I’m getting to know a guy I think I might love enough to marry. I’ve thought about this a lot, both on my own, with my parents (and a couple of other adults I trust) and I truly believe that this is the best way for *me* to go about my dating life.

      One thing that’s important to remember–in anything–it that it’s not about the rules, its about the heart you have in following the rules.

      For instance since I *want* to follow the rules and I recognize the wisdom in it my parents and I have a really easy relationship and they are involved in a lot of my decisions. This is actually pleasant.

      But say I didn’t want to follow the rules laid out for me and I was *following* them but doing everything short of breaking them? Then there’s a problem since the rules have really done very little for me.

      I probably sound pretty extreme in saying it but oh well. I can speak for teenage girls with protective dads since I am one. =)

      Reply
  6. I so love this. We need more men out there like you!

    Reply
    • This is fine but eventually you realize that every good act is balanced with an adverse effect. What do I mean? If you don’t let your daughter go, she’ll never grow up. I’ve seen women basically emasculate their sons by being overprotective.

      The son grows up to be a 40 year old virgin locked up forever under his mother’s wing. It’s a shame, really. Sure you don’t want your daughter to be a whore, but you sure as hell shouldn’t wish for her to be a girl in a woman’s body forever, should you?

      Reply
      • Danny Tanner

         /  February 7, 2011

        Alright folks. I’m home from work! Couple of thoughts –
        1) In no way do I really think or want my daughters to go to college two blocks from my house. I hope their butts get a full ride some place fun and exciting! And the place that best fits their individual needs.
        2) I don’t expect them, nor would I encourage them not to date under the age of 35!
        I have very honest conversations with my girls (especially the 13 year old) in the hopes that as they are faced with decisions about sex and drugs that they will be prepared to make good choices at appropriate times. We’re open about it – and I believe they will. Do I think 8th grade is the right time for my particular kid to start experimenting with sex? Nah, I don’t. Do I seriously think it’s 35 – nah, I don’t think that either. I do believe that a lot of parents feel a bit sad as they watch their kids move from one stage to another. And yet, after a few moments of sadness for what is gone, I’ve found that with each new stage, it just gets better!

      • Understood.

        From your rhetoric, I deducted that you were an overprotective father, but I guess I was oblivious of the humor.

  7. elderwiggins

     /  February 7, 2011

    I love this…especially the “leave room for Jesus” part. My husband would get a kick out of this, too. We have 3 daughters. Great job.

    Reply
  8. This is great! My husband saw a little boy walking towards my oldest daughter and told her to run away as fast as she could.

    Reply
  9. J Roycroft

     /  February 7, 2011

    Ask my daughter how I handled her boy friends. Back then I was working in para military security, fugitive recovery. Her boy friends found out real quick that when I said be back by 9PM, I meant 9PM. She tried to trick me once with the “I’m going to the movies with his parents” routine. Then I showed up at the end of the movie catching her getting out of one car and into another. Neither of the vehicles were his parents. Now that was an entertaining evening for all involved! Oh how I miss those days. Congrats on FP

    Reply
    • Fabulous! My dad was the captain of the National Guard Pistol Team, and the running joke in our house was that he would be sitting in the backseat with a firearm pointed at the poor boy driving, watching him like a hawk. One time, Mom laughed when I was telling this story to a friend, saying, “Backseat? Hah! He’ll be in the front, sitting between you.” Ahhh, over-protective fathers. Gotta love ’em!

      Reply
  10. Great post. I’ve raised a daughter, and I think all parents of girls can relate. Mine, now 34, has turned out great and has a husband who I call Prince Charming (that’s how amazing he is). Big sigh of relief here.

    Reply
  11. Sting the Away

     /  February 7, 2011

    This is awesome… I want one. My pre-teen girls ask me from time to time out of curiosity about the appropriate age for driving/marriage/dating/insert any uncomfortable dad topic here. I always start the conversation at age 30 and work up. Negotiations generally don’t go the way they expect either:

    “30”.
    “16”.
    “31”.
    “What???!??!, Dad!!!!”

    Reply
  12. countoncross

     /  February 7, 2011

    I love your site! This is a grat post. We have two teen-age daughters that are driving us crazy….. I know my husband needs this shirt.

    Reply
  13. DJ, dad and full house! All in one post!

    Reply
  14. i wont need one of these tshirts…i plan on having only boys. you know the old saying, “with boys…you only have 1 penis to worry about.”

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  February 7, 2011

      I wish you hadn’t pointed that out!!! But a line I’ll adopt for a long time.

      Reply
  15. We have all boys, and I am glad.

    Reply
  16. We seem to have the opposite problem in our house. I’m sure that if I had wanted to hang out with boys in high school, my parents would have felt much the same way as you do. However, my parents (who would love to see us married with children) have two daughters with no interest in men whatsoever.

    Reply
  17. I found this quite hilarious and also love your blog theme – simply beautiful! You said something important in a very entertaining way. I may need one of those shirts in 1.5 decades from now lol!

    http://gbengaawomodu.wordpress.com

    Reply
  18. I really appreciate this post. I am a step-mother of two girls and a mother of my two sons. I want to buy multiple shirts. Unfortunately, the girls’ mother and I have radically different views when it comes to allowing the girls to date. It is very difficult as my 15 year-old is already dating and the just-turned-13 year-old can’t wait to go out. Having grown up with a “No dating until you’re 16” rule, I now can say that it was a reasonable rule and one which I wish I could impose on my girls. Luckily, I get to have some say when it comes to the boys. But, knowing how my 12 and a half-year old son still enjoys playing Legos with his 6 year-old brother, I may have to push him out the door to go to a dance, just to socialize him a bit.

    Reply
  19. I have raised two adult sons, now 20, and 22-years-old.
    Early-on, I taught them about morals and values relative to life and dating/relationships. So far, so good; no problems. It’s all about respect, but I must say though, it applies to raising both sons and daughters. Parenting is not easy. We have to guide our children and give them the tools they will need to be successful, responsible members of society.

    Nice post. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

    Reply
  20. Liz

     /  February 7, 2011

    Great post! I have two daughters and although they are too young to be thinking about dating, I’m hearing other parents talk about their kids dating ans I’m wondering what the average age is that kids start dating? This is when I start to feel old–I don’t remember dating until high school!

    Congrats being featured on Freshly Pressed!

    http://www.secretsofmoms.com

    Reply
  21. It takes a village to raise a child 🙂 I love this!!

    Reply
  22. Too damn awesome.

    Reply
  23. My dad is so desperate for a grandchild in the States, that he leaves ladders outside my bedroom window. Have to keep asking him to take it down… I remember when he was like this, though 🙂 I know you’re being funny, but I also, as a daughter, want to say that the absolute best thing you can do for DJ is to remind her every day how valuable her qualities, feelings, and instincts are, so that she never settles for a man who doesn’t value her character. You’re the man in her life now, so always make her feel safe and that she can be honest with you…she’ll look for that same integrity when she’s older.

    Reply
  24. I definitely have to get one or a dozen of those shirts for my hubby! We have 3 girls and he clearly remembers what HE was like as a teenage.

    Reply
  25. That was such fun to read…this is how I imagine my husband would be if we had a daughter.
    Shortly after we came home from the hospital with our son (we didn’t know what we having until he was delivered) my husband said..
    “I am so glad we had a boy, I was terrified that we might have a girl. I wasn’t sure I could handle that yet.”

    Reply
  26. LOVE THIS! You are right on!
    And the person who commented that she was concerned about your girls obviously doesn’t have any. We have 3 girls and a boy in our house~ all teens or pre-teens. I was raised “NO DANCES” and so are our kids. I did allow them to go to an 80’s dance with girl friends…no dancing with boys allowed. Face the facts people~ hormones are hard to control in teens and there’s no point in throwing your kids out there to figure it out for themselves…I know exactly where that leads to. I see it everyday in the eyes of the hurt girls who got dumped after the guy was bored with the sex and needed a new thrill. Or on the faces of the teenage girls round with pregnant bellies, faced with raising a baby on their own. This is a funny post but the issue is no laughing matter~ KIDS SHOULD NOT DATE. PERIOD. Thanks for this!

    Reply
    • I don’t have girls. I AM a girl and I have a dad.

      Reply
    • Yeah… I agree. We are in the process of convincing our 13 yr old daughter that she will be “courting” not “dating”… there is a difference, but I won’t get into all that here! I want the absolute best for my child… that’s my job as a parent.

      Reply
  27. You could be commended for your fine work at that gym. I would give you two medals, one for outstanding Dadsmanship and one for being amazingly creepy. Which is more important? It doesn’t matter since you’ve mastered both.

    Reply
  28. missylikestoramble

     /  February 7, 2011

    Great Post, I think you have managed to put into words how almost every parent of a teenage girl feels. As the mom of 3 teenage daughters, I can tell you that my husband and I relate to this topic very well. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  29. Haha, this post totally cracked me up! Even though I’m now grown and married, I think you and my father would still get along famously. Thanks for the laughs (and the humorous and warm memories of growing up in my father’s house). 🙂

    Reply
  30. Sorry, I’m with Crystal on this one.

    No, I don’t have teen daughters but I was one, and my Dad (then divorced from my Mom) gave me a lot of freedom, with the very clear and explicit understanding that: 1) he trusted me to make wise choices; 2) I would (as I did) be home by curfew; 3) I could trust my own instincts and decisions about boys; 4) all boys were NOT “after only one thing.” I did not go crazy focusing only on sex or how to be sexy to boys but (yes) on sports and schoolwork.

    I know this post is meant to be funny. I do.

    But young women must be taught that their feelings and needs for affection, sexuality and respect (all complicated stuff) are something THEY — not with Dad hovering all the time — must learn to both cherish and manage. After they leave home, these are essential life skills — like cooking or driving — they need to practice and master on their own, with guidance.

    A woman of any age who has tremendous self-respect and confidence in her value beyond sexual appeal will be fine.

    http://caitlinkelly.com/

    Reply
    • Very well put Caitlin. I agree completely. Especially with the point that women need to learn to manage these issues on their own. otherwise all the things daddy is afraid of and trying to protect them from will be something they fall prey to once he is no longer around. If however a woman is given sincere guidance and freedom a little bit at a time she can learn to manage these things on her own.

      Reply
  31. And I enjoy dating.

    Reply
  32. I have a 9 month old daughter and want one of those shirts. You can never be too prepared. 🙂

    Reply
  33. I can tell you from first-had experience, the fact that your daughter got you that shirt is a testament to your healthy relationship. I was mortified in high school that my dad wouldn’t let me date, so I would go behind his back and usually ended up dating real slimy guys. Dads (and moms), keep those lines of communication open! I sure wish my parents had. Kudos for being a protective dad.

    Reply
  34. Is this mean to be sarcastic? It’s this kind of controlling, aggressive behaviour that leads to daughters making bad decisions with boys. Only by constructions do we want to break them. Has it ever occurred to you that girls like dating too? That it’s not just about leering boys. How are girls ever meant to have a relationship with a boy when their sneaking around?

    Reply
  35. Definitely showing this to the hunny! =o)

    Reply
  36. I’m glad it is not Son’s 🙂

    Reply
  37. This is great… I feel like both my Parents would have agreed with this when I was in High school. My sister and I used to laugh about it, but I think we are kind of grateful now…

    Reply
  38. Wow. You sure are one protective father. No crime in that though…it’s a funny post. Congrats on being fp

    Reply
  39. Oh my goodness, I want to buy a bunch of these shirts and give them as “because it’s Friday” presents to all the homeschool dads I know!!!
    Great post!!!

    Reply
  40. I totally plan to use the, “Who gives this woman to be wedded to this man?” “Her mother.” I’ll just have to hope my memory serves me in 25 years. And yes my daughter won’t be allowed to wed until she is 27 years old 😉

    Reply
  41. i think all that’s funny, but the kids who act the most responsibly always had what seemed like great, open, and trustworthy communication with their parents. the type of relationships that were really discussion and trust-heavy; not militant and dictatorial.
    it amazes me how parents can’t remember what it was like to think, act, and feel like a teenager. even if they do, they have a hard time executing the actual management.
    i’m not a parent, but this is what i’ve observed.

    Reply
  42. carleennimrod

     /  February 7, 2011

    Hahaha! This is great!

    Reply
  43. Wow! Look at you on FP! I almost didn’t check it out today, and there you were. Congrats! I wonder if there’s a shirt out there that says MOSD….

    Reply
  44. This is absolutely hysterical !

    But I have to admit, I’m a mom – of two twenty something year old boys/men – and I feel the same way about my boys . . .

    It’s a promiscuous world out there nowadays. So just remember when you break up the tango, it takes two to dance and unfortunately not a lot of prompting from Fred Astaire these days.

    So, break up the dance, the kiss, whatever. But do so with this in mind, girls mature faster – and well, that’s somebody’s innocent son being seduced 😉

    Reply
  45. My dad had 6 daughters and he would have loved this shirt!
    Thanks for the cute post!

    Reply
  46. barbaralongley

     /  February 7, 2011

    On the other hand . . . young women who have not had a chance to date often find themselves in situations where they are easily controlled, abused, taken advantage of, etc. Dating while still at home creates opportunities for parents to discuss what is healthy/unhealthy in a relationship. You can deepen your bond and your relationship with your girls by being there for them as a sounding board when “situations” come up. They will learn what kind of man they want to share their lives with, and what kind of men to steer clear of. Let go; let grow.

    Reply
    • “young women who have not had a chance to date often find themselves in situations where they are easily controlled, abused, taken advantage of, etc.”

      So TRUE!

      Reply
  47. I really enjoyed this post! Thanks for sharing and congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! 🙂

    Reply
  48. As the oldest of three sibling and the only daughter,as well as the eldest of 11 grandchildren, my dad was the one who made sure to shake every boy’s hand extra hard and look them straight in the eyes- now 30 years old, the boys turned men still talk about it! My father was adored by everyone and still is, and instilled in my brothers how to be a true gentleman. This was a great read and a fun laugh. Thanks and congrats on FP!

    Reply
  49. Great post.

    Raise your own kids people!!

    Reply
  50. This was hilarious! I, too, love the “make room for Jesus” part.

    I gave my kids (a boy and a girl)the “can’t date till your 16” rule when they were about 10. My daughter later told me that she was relieved because it gave her a good excuse when boys would try to approach her to say “no.” Because she said she was not ready, but didn’t want to be made fun of by the other kids, so she just said “my mom won’t let me date till I’m 16.” I didn’t mind appearing a tyrant at all!

    Reply
  51. I love this, mu daughter is ten now and its already starting to make me nervous. I’ve already told her numerous times that there will be NO dating until at least eighteen. Good thing shes got an older brother who happens to feel exactly as I do. Great blog!

    Reply
  52. Funny piece!
    I’ve got two boys I’ll be trying to keep in check. Congrats on a wonderful family!

    Reply
  53. Loved this blog!! I’m in my teens and both my parents sound exactly like this!! Luckily for them, it has worked so far..! Not for me though… Have to get Dad this tee-shirt!

    Reply
  54. Oh that was priceless! I think my father feels that way, but after having raised 5 kids (me being the youngest), i think he grew tired of keeping up with the senseless scrutiny. Ergo, I definitely have more freedom than my two older sisters. But you know… He’s also a very conservative Asian Catholic. I wonder how he’ll take my being with a non-religious, South African laborer? I think your post sums it up.

    Reply
  55. Terry Collmann

     /  February 7, 2011

    You sad, sad man. No wonder your country has such an appallingly large number of teenage mothers.

    Reply
    • Not nice…or productive.

      Reply
      • Danny Tanner

         /  February 7, 2011

        Alright folks. I’m home from work! Couple of thoughts –
        1) In no way do I really think or want my daughters to go to college two blocks from my house. I hope their butts get a full ride some place fun and exciting! And the place that best fits their individual needs.
        2) I don’t expect them, nor would I encourage them not to date under the age of 35!
        I have very honest conversations with my girls (especially the 13 year old) in the hopes that as they are faced with decisions about sex and drugs that they will be prepared to make good choices at appropriate times. We’re open about it – and I believe they will. Do I think 8th grade is the right time for my particular kid to start experimenting with sex? Nah, I don’t. Do I seriously think it’s 35 – nah, I don’t think that either. I do believe that a lot of parents feel a bit sad as they watch their kids move from one stage to another. And yet, after a few moments of sadness for what is gone, I’ve found that with each new stage, it just gets better!

  56. It pretty funny but it remindes of the fact that my own parents threaten to kick me out if I should ever mention dating. However I really want to be at your daughter’s wedding when you are running away from giving away your daughter 😉

    Reply
  57. Wayne

     /  February 7, 2011

    Tongue in cheek at it’s best. Don’t pass judgement until you’ve read all the entries on this blog. When you’ve been through what these guys have been through, and still have a sense of humor, you’re OK. We’re not looking at a conservative nut here. We’re looking at a dad laughing at himself while trying to raise 3 girls…who are laughing right along with him.

    Reply
  58. This is classic–I have never heard the one about leaving room for Jesus, or heard of the t-shirt. My daughter’s mom and I don’t agree on much except for the fact that we are going to lock her in the basement from 16 (or maybe 12) to 35; then she can start dating.

    Reply
  59. LOL This is great! You and my dad would get along just fine I think. I’m a teen and my dad is always buggin me about dating. Always prying. I know he does it because he cares but its annoying sometimes. Still That t-shirt is lol. Maybe I should get him one?

    Reply
  60. Fogleman Forerunner

     /  February 7, 2011

    Great job! Funny or not, our daughters are very greatful now that their dad had the gumption say dating is not an option in our home. At 18 and 19 years old now, they are thrilled not to have to worry about it. All the fella’s in our area know they have to go through Dadd first before the girls will even consider giving them a second look.

    Reply
  61. Every daughter should have a dad like you…..

    Reply
  62. Hilarious! Just thought I’d point point out that nearly everyone who criticized Danny for being an overprotective father ended up saying, “I don’t have kids, but . . .” My parents didn’t give me any dating rules, but planned to “cross that bridge when we come to it.” They did have very high expectations of my brothers and I, and if it ever crossed their minds that we wouldn’t live up to them, they never let on. Since my parents didn’t set these rules for me, I was able to look to my Heavenly Father for these kinds of boundaries, and decided not to date. I think it’s all about parents understanding their kids and knowing what that particular teen will respond best to. But every child needs to know from their parents just how much they are worth, and that their parents have high expectations for them, whether we’re talking about staying pure or staying sober or getting good grades. I’ll never forget complaining to a classmate when I was a senior in highschool about my parents not letting me stay home alone when they went out of town for two nights. Her response? “You’re lucky. I wish my parents said that.” My point is that teenagers are not generally mature enough to make the final decision in these matters and have it be a decision that they won’t later regret. It’s the parents job to guide and protect their children! Oh yea, I should mention that I don’t have kids either.

    Reply
  63. erhu ianyce

     /  February 7, 2011

    love it!, but then i’m not yet a father so…coz i’m still at my 20’s that so ahahahaha i love the D.A.D.D. but M.A.S.D.???? kinda oadd don’t you think so??? ahahahaha great post by the way 🙂

    Reply
  64. I appreciate this blog post! I am a firm believer that dating merely a gateway to finding a spouse. If you’re not looking for a spouse then you ought not be dating. I don’t know many (any, personally) women who regret waiting until they were ready for marriage to date or be intimate. I appreciate your lightheartedness while still teaching your daughters to find a respectful man instead of letting every teenage creep get too close. I DREAD those years. Side Note to other replies – Fathers play a critical role in teenage girls promiscuity. It’s actually the absence of a father figure and absence of stability and respect for authority that puts teenage girls at higher risk for teenage pregnancy. Caring, ‘strict’ family units actually prevent promiscuity because the girls don’t feel the need to find male attention anywhere else. Teenage pregnancy statistics actually show that. Rules don’t prevent teenage promiscuity but LOVE and RESPECT does. This father sounds like he has it. Fool proof? Nope. Worthy of ‘strict father’ bashing? Of course not. This world is where it is because family values have been thrown out the window.

    Reply
  65. If my husband had a shirt like that I wouldn’t be a grandmother at a shockingly young age 🙂

    Reply
  66. Yeah, this doesn’t seem right at all… You’ve got to let your daughters out into the wider world. They are going to have sex someday, and you have to let them. They are going to get drunk someday and likewise you can’t control that.

    It’s funny that your daughter bought you that but that’s where the story should end.

    Kids do turn into teenagers and do get up to naughty things. You can either let them do it while you’re watching or have them do it behind your back with no regulation whatsoever.

    By the way, if you saw two kids making out at the mall, how is it your right to question what they’re doing?

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  February 7, 2011

      Man, it’s just humor. I concur with you and I would not seriously bombard a couple in the mall.

      Reply
    • obviously you need to lighten up. by the way you probably don’t have a daughter and have no idea what its like.

      Reply
  67. This is what I am talking about! I want that shirt! I have an 8 year old daughter and my blood boils when I think of young predators trying to take advantage of her when she gets older. I might need to buy a bat or a machete in the near future. Anyhow, my approach right now is to show her how a boy is supposed to treat her. I plan to take her to dinner myself so that she can expect the same from another man when she turns 30 something !!! Great post!

    Reply
  68. I know this is meant to be funny, but it brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me sooooo much of my dad, who basically had a “no boyfriends until you graduate” rule (which I broke, of course).

    Now that I have my own daughter to raise, I plan to have very open communication with her regarding all things. She should not have a fear of broaching any topic with me, and so should I with her.

    Congratulations on FP!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  February 7, 2011

      As much as I complain about my daughters growing up, I actually concur with you. Our job is to prepare them for what’s out there. Not to shelter them from it.

      Reply
  69. Jesselyn Girl

     /  February 7, 2011

    I sent this along to my father because he would love this. I am shocked that I am married. If dad had it his way I wouldn’t be allowed to date till I was 30 (and I think he said it once or twice). It brought back some happy (but back then mortifying) memories.

    Reply
  70. Congrats on being FP! We might be the fuller house! 4 boys 2 girls. My oldest daughter is 12. Looking into a moat w/drawbridge. 🙂 Dating hasn’t come up yet. We do home school! So no dating for oh…10 more years? 🙂
    I like your style, oh and the writing too! 🙂

    Reply
    • Thanks for the kind words! Sounds like your house may be more “full”–we reference the TV show “Full House” since our unique family make-up sort of mirrors that of the old show.
      Thanks again for reading. I like some of the wooden nameplates I saw on your blog.

      Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  February 8, 2011

      good luck Harold!

      Reply
  71. Is there one called SAPD?

    Students Against Peer Dating?

    We’re only fourteen, guys. No need to be making out in the hallways.

    I’d gladly wear that shirt.

    Reply
  72. LOVED this! I know it was tongue-in-cheek…. but with some reality mixed in, eh?! My husband has this list called “application to date my daughter” – ever seen this? Hilarious! You are a man who would appreciate it! My favorite line goes something like this… “if you ever hurt my little girl, I have a gun, a shovel, and 5 acres” LOL!

    Reply
  73. nice post! as a father of two blond haired blue-eyed girls, i feel your pain and must have the t-shirt. congrats on being FP.

    Reply
  74. My Dad is like you when it comes to me dating, which is great. My Mom however is like this post if it weren’t at all sarcastic. So I rebelled against mom’s rules…. and hardly ever Dad’s…

    Reply
  75. you remind me of my dad and I know I was raised well 🙂

    Reply
  76. This is hysterical! My parents were lucky with me, I spent high school (and now most of college) too focused on things like academics, sports and friends to date. How was I supposed to date when I spent 6 hours at school, 2 at practice, and the rest doing homework?

    With that said, my parents did trust me and give me a lot of leeway on the weekends. I knew what they expected of me and I earned and kept that trust. My dad definitely isn’t looking forward to my future wedding, though. I’m definitely Daddy’s girl.

    Reply
  77. You sound just like my dad, which is refreshing. Great post. Hope I can stumble upon on of those shirts someday and pass it off to my dad!

    Reply
  78. Glad it’s meant to be comical =P Or else you might scar your kids for life =P

    My parents set my dating age at 16, and I decided it was too early and so set my own dating “age” for when I was out of HS, which was 2 years later =P

    and if anyone is full out making out in the mall, just smack them! i’d suggest being civil only if it looks like there was some attempt made at being respectable…like in a car (although why anyone would try making out in there is beyond me…it seems like it’d be really uncomfortable!)

    ever listen to Driscoll’s message where he tells girls to say “Jesus is here with us!” if their boyfriends try to take things too far?

    Reply
  79. haha Awesome! I was a dating daughter once…I KNOW why dads are against it! I love your writing style, and your sense of humor. It reminds me of my own dad.

    Reply
  80. I found your post very entertaining! keep it up!

    Reply
  81. Hmmm, I first read through this post and I have to admit my first impression wasn’t that far removed from some of the less positive reactions put forth here, but I think the trick is not to just read it – you have to ‘listen’ to it.

    The tone is not aggressive, in fact it seems much more a good-natured look at the author rather than an assuming any real right to have control over the relationships children develop. There’s a distinct difference between protection with the goal to control, and with the goal to guide. While children are still old enough to need or benefit from parental guidance, it does more good than harm.

    The most important message here is that when one shows their children that they are worth protecting, they will often have a greater sense of self-worth and ultimately make better decisions for themselves.

    That being said, protection involves awareness, on both the parent’s and child’s behalf. It’s no good ‘protecting’ your daughters from the ‘predators’ out there if you prevent them from having the opportunity to learn how to tell the difference for themselves. Preventing them from dating until a certain age isn’t really the key, but getting them to understand what a loving, healthy relationship is.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  February 8, 2011

      Very well stated and I agree fully. Thank you!

      Reply
    • I like your comment especially on listening to the tone rather than just reading it. That definitely put it in the right track.

      I like this post too. My dad was protective of me being his only daughter. And I miss those moments with him.

      Reply
  82. fiona2107

     /  February 8, 2011

    Lighten up peoples. It’s called humour!
    LOVED the post 🙂

    Reply
  83. Simon Yee

     /  February 8, 2011

    Trust the man to take care of your daughter?

    Reply
  84. I am really amazed reading this post. I didn’t think there will be parents in the west who are concerned about their children’s dating habits. In the part of India I live in, there isn’t anything called dating. On top of this, I am from a conservative family. So, there isn’t any scope for dating. The post was a nice read.

    Reply
  85. katiegou

     /  February 8, 2011

    This was pretty hilarious, I loved your perspective on it. Though, it’s important for us young bucks to make mistakes, it’s the only way we can learn. Life’s not a rehearsal so we may as well enjoy it while we’re here. If you’ve instilled, in DJ, good judgement then you will have nothing to worry about. Children trust their parents, will parents ever learn to trust their children?

    Reply
  86. You sound just like my Dad – whom I love to bits. The only problem is that his over-protective nature scared the pants of all the boys I went to high school with and that left me only one option. And that was…to hide!!!
    Your girls are very lucky… only I hope you let them start dating before it’s too late!
    ~ abbie ~

    Reply
  87. Ha ha! I don’t know what it’s like in America but in the UK most young people date… behind their parents’ backs. My dad is just like you, he sent me to an all girls school to protect me from ‘those boys’ but it really does program young women into boy seeking missiles.
    I just hope that you never let your children go to college, you’d cry if you ever heard about their first month there.

    Reply
  88. Jens

     /  February 8, 2011

    – walk through the crowd during the slow dance yelling, “Leave room for Jesus! Leave room for Jesus!” –

    ???

    Try an (intercultural or international even, if u dare) reality-check on that one. This is one of these things why people around the world think, the christian-fundamental-right in the US is crazy.

    Reply
  89. I liked the post.

    Reply
  90. Medh

     /  February 8, 2011

    i like your post. it reminds me to my Daddy. he used to protect me from the boys outside there…it’s challenging to have this kind of Daddy…

    Reply
  91. The only thing more amusing then child rearing is passing gallstones.
    My husband is much like you. Very protective of the hymen bearing members of the fam.3 daughters 3 sons. Funnily the boys didn’t get the same tx that the gals did.
    The eldest got the worst of it.
    Was watched like a hawk.
    Never resented the love behind the watchful eyes of her loving dad.
    However,one early morning round about 4 a.m. she wakes me bedside shaking like a leaf. “Mommy I am in trouble.”
    “What’s wrong China?”
    “The police caught me and a few friends in a community pool.”
    She had snuck out of the house in the middle of the night and gone skinny dipping with friends after jumping an 8 foot fence into a private pool.
    We managed that good old dad was spared ever knowing his sweet young thing ever went astray and I got her to my GYN pretty darn quick (just to be safe).
    Alls well that ends well…she is prolly reading this cuddling her newborn girl this minute. What goes around around comes around China I’m just sayin” Have a good day kids!
    http://gmomj.wordpress.com/

    Reply
  92. Great post. I love your sense of humor. As the mother of three sons, I appreciate fathers who protect their daughters. We taught our sons to treat the girls they dated as they would want another boy to treat their future wives–with respect, kindness, and generosity. Two of them are married now to beautiful young women. Both met with their future wives’ fathers to ask permission to date their daughters. The fathers made it clear that their daughters were precious to them and they would not abide any lack of disrespect toward their daughters (which in my mind includes sex outside of marriage). My sons developed strong relationships with their future fathers-in-law. When it came time to ask for their daughters’ hands in marriage, the fathers knew my sons could be trusted to love, honor, and protect their daughters for the rest of their lives.

    Reply
  93. nice shirt, but the old fashion way works best I think. Let them date but be cleaning your gun as they walk out the door. Haha, jk… You got it under control, I do believe

    Reply
  94. Fabulous! As a mother of two boys, I hope there are other dads like you all over this country who are ready and willing to stare down my sons if they get too handsy with girls. Bravo, Dad.

    Reply
  95. Johnathan Dobbs

     /  February 8, 2011

    I have this shirt, and It’s my favorite too! My oldest daughter saw it in a store were in together, and she said, “Dad, you need this shirt.” I said, “Absolutely!” I get the same responses from people everywhere I go! In fact, I liked it so much I created a Facebook page for the slogan. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Reply
  96. KESTREL

     /  February 8, 2011

    My dad’s totally against me dating as well… I’m 15 turning 16 and have NEVER once been allowed to date a guy…

    Reply
  97. Yeah I’ll be the crazy mom. I’ll be telling the guy….Give me your license and I’ll take a quick picture of it as I walk to the back of the car and take a quick pic of the license plate and embarrassing her. Just to let her and him know I care what happens. haha.

    Reply
  98. This made me laugh out loud several times. Funny, funny, funny. I had a dad that cleaned his shotgun in front of the boys I dated. But I was allowed to date them non the less. Now I have a son and it is a constant internal battle to; encourage him to find a good girlfriend, one who gets along with HIS family and; enjoying too much his none attached status. We have to keep a sense of humor about our emotions concerning our kids or we will be overwhelmed by the sheer intenseness of it all.

    Reply
  99. wow, i should really a D.A.D.D. shirt for my dad.

    Reply
  100. loved your post, its amazing, comical but ur over protective nature seeeems to be very clear, and its not a bad thing at all..

    Reply
  101. haha. I am not sure whether my dad is against me dating, but my mum always tells my sister and I that he will def. cry a lot when we are getting married. It just sounded like to dads, daughters getting married = losing your daughters. Not sure whether it is true for your case.
    But, my grandma is def. against me dating. She even asked why I would not wait till my graduation from university to date. :/ I was really speechless.

    Reply
  102. The Single Girl

     /  March 18, 2011

    Haha, my dad would love this! Although he’s not all against dating, provided it’s done with the right motives.

    Reply
  103. Yeah… I agree. We are in the process of convincing our 13 yr old daughter that she will be “courting” not “dating”… there is a difference, but I won’t get into all that here! I want the absolute best for my child… that’s my job as a parent.

    Reply
  104. herringtonjoshua

     /  April 9, 2011

    I love this. Great job!

    Reply
  105. Janet Brown

     /  March 22, 2015

    26 years old and I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I couldn’t figure out how to say, “Hey, hot stuff, want to grab lunch together?” He never said anything of the sort to me, never even glanced my way. No, Mom and Dad, I’m not grateful.

    Reply
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