The Daddy Handbook

The Handbook (It's in my hand)

Posted by Danny

For years I have carried the Daddy Handbook.  It’s invisible – therefore, it’s always on me. One day a few years back I was quoting from it as we were walking out of Circuit City.  An older gentleman overheard our conversation.  He smiled at me and looked at the girls with a serious face, “I have that book too.  Everything in it is true.”

The girls say there’s an invisible Little Girl’s Handbook, but I don’t believe them.

Tonight I was putting Stephanie to bed.  I told her I loved her.  She said, “I love you more.”  I said, “That’s impossible.”

“Na Uh.”

“It is impossible, and I’ll tell you why.  Look (I pulled out the handbook and flipped it open).  It says right here in the Daddy Handbook on page 548, second paragraph:  Daddy’s always love their daughters more than their daughters love them. If it’s in the handbook honey, it is true.”

“Well I have the Little Girl Handbook and it says:  Girls love their daddy’s more than the daddy’s love their girls.  Page 14.  That paragraph.”  She pointed to her small book.

“Well Stephanie, look here on page 799, the last page of the Daddy Handbook.  Do you see what it says?  It says:  Page 14 in the Little Girl’s handbook is hogwash.  Do not believe anything on that page It’s just not true.”

“Well there’s a secret page in the Little Girl’s handbook that says:  Page 14 is true even if the Daddy Handbook says it is not true. And you don’t know the number of the secret page.”

“Yes Stephanie.  But look.  Down here at the bottom of page 799:  The secret page of the Little Girl’s Handbook has some mistakes.  The main one is about the Daddy Handbook not being true. Disregard the information on that page.”

“Daddy, what does disregard mean?”

“Don’t worry about it Boo.  I love you the very most.  Goodnight.”

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  1. homesteadramblings

     /  February 10, 2011

    You are a good daddy. Thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your home and heart.

  2. Melanie Walker

     /  February 10, 2011

    You might possibly be the sweetest man on the planet. Those are some lucky girls, despite it all.

    • don’t get me wrong…the guy’s a great dad…but “sweetest man on the planet”? You guys clearly need to come over for dinner some time soon….

  3. Andy Tennille

     /  February 10, 2011

    I know the Daddy Handbook all too well. My Dad used to reference page 478 all the time – “all kids who want dessert must be a member of the CPC (Clean Plate Club).”

  4. Annette Heath

     /  February 10, 2011

    Your writings are so very full of love for your wife and your precious daughters. What a great Dad you are! I whispered those little “ILU more” words to my 90-YO mother during her last moments before closing her eyes and going to God. I LOVE your invisible handbook. It’s rules and regs are written on the heart. I am so grateful to you and Hayes for sharing your family. It brings me smiles and I shed a few tears at times.

    • Thanks, Mrs. Heath. I have a feeling, like you, these girls will be winning the “I love you more” battles in 40 or 50 years!

  5. Annette Jay

     /  February 10, 2011

    What a sweet Daddy those little girls have! God bless you Bruce!

  6. Aunt Susan

     /  February 10, 2011

    Sorry Danny, Stephaine is right, girls love Daddies more, and it’s in the little girls handbook and the big ones too! (P.S to stephanie, look on page 15)

  7. So funny, I always tell our kids that everything I learned about being a mom is because of Mommy School. They totally beleived me until a few years ago…

  8. Susan S

     /  February 10, 2011

    This sounds to me like a great title for a real book and you’ve already got a great start!

  9. I love this. When my dad would tuck me into bed I would say “I love you times a million” and then he would say “I love you time ten million” and then I would pull the “I love you to infinity” card…and then he would say “I love you infinity plus one.”

    It’s a constant battle, that love you more thing 🙂

  10. Jean

     /  February 11, 2011

    Sometimes the Mom wins and then the grandmothers. Just wait until you have wonderful granchildren. You find even more love to add to your bucket of love


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