Posted by Danny
What in the heck is going on? The tool bar on my computer was lying where it always lies – across the bottom of the screen. I’m comfortable with that – that’s where I like him. Yesterday I opened my computer and he had stood up – moved on over to the right side of the computer. Perhaps he needed to stretch. I don’t know. All I do know is that I can’t find anything now. This is really throwing me off!
Last week at work, I started printing a pretty important document to be passed out at an important board meeting. I was the presenter to a room full of fairly influential people. When I went to pick up my “job” from the printer, I noticed it had a pink tint all over the paper. I opened the drawer – looks like it started out white. Maybe our printer was celebrating Valentine’s Day. I called the IT department in a frenzy. MY DOCUMENT IS PINK! I HAVE TO LEAVE FOR A BOARD MEETING IN 15 MINUTES. IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE? How can a printer all of a sudden decide to shade your documents? And PINK? It’s as if Michelle got to pick the toner cartridge for the day.
IT guys ask questions like, “Did you press print from the toolbar?”
First of all, is there anywhere else to press print from? Do they have a magic button underneath their desk that can print when their tool bar vacates?
I respond with answers like, “Surprisingly (since my tool bar had not yet decided to relocate) I did.”
“Can you just walk your over here and check this out for yourself?”
Ten minutes later.
“Now press print. Let’s go see what it looks like.”
“I know what it looks like. It’s pink!”
I’ll be damned if we didn’t walk to that frickin’ printer and pull out a pure white copy of my handout. I swear.
“It’s ok. It happens to us all.”
No it doesn’t. I know the kind people in that department think I have a -6 IQ. They are very responsive and very nice to those of us who have a technological dificiency. But I know they think I’m stupid and I’m convinced they crack on me at their closed-door staff meetings. They probably do impersonations of us as their ice breakers.
Why is it that every time the IT department comes to work on your computer, the problem you were encountering just magically disappears?
Lisa was the technician in our house. I am not technical as Jesse has pointed out on many occasions. I do not know the difference between upload and download. I do not know how to get pictures off the camera. I bought a new printer – and handed the box to Jesse. I put photo paper in the printer and the computer told me there wasn’t paper in the printer. I told it there was but that it was just a different kind of paper. It did not respond to me. And it didn’t print my pictures. They look fine on regular paper – you can’t tell the difference once you frame them.
I can’t add a printer, delete a printer, or set a printer as default. I got a new phone, a Droid. I recently learned there is a button you can push and look at a map of where you are. Did you know that you can text with your voice? I talk to my computer all of the time and nothing happens. Maybe he’s offended by the curse words. But with the Droid, I talk and it moves! The other day Jesse picked up my phone and said, “Red Dragon, Raleigh.” That phone pulled up the restaurant and there sat the phone number, ready to dial.
I used to think Lisa was having an affair with a dude she would talk to for hours. She said she was talking to him trying to get our wireless working. I only heard half of the conversation but I’m not convinced that’s what they were talking about. As their conversation progressed, she would speak louder and slower. I’m not sure if the phone connection was going bad or if she was trying to role model how she would like him to communicate back with her. I will say that she always left the conversation cranky.
I don’t want my kids to be technologically illiterate. And I am trying to become a bit more savvy with my computer. Jesse says I don’t need all of the answers in my head, I just need to know where to find the answers. I do: the IT department!