Dancing

Posted by Danny

There is a lot of writing about guilt and grief.  I think many people who lose someone harbor a great deal of guilt or have a number of regrets about things they wish they’d have done differently.  I only have one.

Lisa and I loved to dance.  We weren’t always the best dancers on the floor, but we could hold our own.  We particularly enjoyed shagging.  You learn a handful of twists and turns and you can use those moves with any number of genres. 

I remember last spring when it first dawned on me that I would never be able to dance with my wife again.  I was driving back to Raleigh from my parent’s house in Fayetteville; we were on I-95.  The radio was on and the kids were distracted.  I don’t recall the song; but I do recall the stunning realization that I would never again hold her on the dance floor. 

I could picture the smile on her face when we would master a new move.  I could almost feel her body in my arms as we moved closer for a slow song.

I could remember sitting at a table when the music started – she’d say, “I love this song.  Let’s go.”

“Nah.  There aren’t enough people out there yet.  I don’t want people staring at us.”  Or “Let’s have a drink first.  You know I move better after a glass of wine.”

And that is my regret.  We danced a lot.  But there were times she wanted to hit the floor and I resisted. 

I can’t believe I let those opportunities slip by.  Why did I care what other’s thought?  Why wasn’t I sure enough about myself to respond to her request?  If I just had one more dance –

I’m determined not to make that mistake again.  At the wedding last month in DC, I grabbed my girls as soon as the band started.  Michelle and I hit the dance floor – Jesse grabbed Stephanie.  Soon all five of us were hands in the air, shaking our booties.  When our favorite family rap came on (doesn’t every family have a favorite rap song?), we all stood in the middle of the dance floor, singing to the top of our lungs:

In New York,

Concrete jungles where dreams are made of,

There’s nothing you can’t do

Now you’re in New York,

These streets will make you feel brand new,

Big lights will inspire you

Let’s hear it for New York.

Jesse and DJ are learning the verses – the rap part between the chorus.  We’ll be even better prepared at the next event.

It’s really about maximizing your time.  It’s really about maximizing your opportunities.  It’s about not sitting out of the dance.

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5 Comments

  1. Patty Thomson

     /  March 4, 2011

    Well put. As I grew up, I heard many times, “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” We all have things that we regret. the secret is to remember the things we don’t regret!! that is hard at times because the didn’ts sometimes outweigh the dids. I have learned to enjoy UNC basketball games because Wayne loves to watch them. I guess you would say that at this time in our lives, that is our dance floor.

    Reply
  2. Helen LaVere

     /  March 4, 2011

    Thanks for reminding me of something I forget a lot – I never learned to just have fun and it doesn’t come easy for me but I don’t think it’s ever too late to learn how to play. Thanks to you, Uncle Jesse and the girls for setting a great example for me to follow!

    Reply
  3. ThunderBear

     /  March 4, 2011

    Shake what your Mama gave ya!!! I do when I get the chance. When I’m truly enjoying it the folks around me are the ones who need to look out (as well as Hopie’s toes)! Love the post!

    Reply
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