Golden Corral or Bust

Posted by Danny

Jesse sold DJ on the Golden Corral.  He built it up like it was a trip to Disney World.  And their enthusiasm was infectious!  I, who harbors ill will toward a buffet, even got a little excited.

Our plan was to venture out on Saturday night after our long afternoon of shopping.  Jesse got last-minute tickets to the Hurricanes game (where incidentally he was tossed out for, according to him nothing).  He was visibly shaken that he might not be there when the girls were introduced to this gourmet mecca.  I think he almost turned the free ticket down – tough call for Jesse –

Front row at a sporting event versus the GC buffet

Sports won.

We walked in the front door on Saturday at 6:30 with my father-in-law only to find the lobby spilling over with eager “ready to bingers”.  With Jesse not there to coax me, I quickly decided we should return, with him, at a later date.

Tonight was right.  We all skipped our afternoon snacks and after picking DJ up from dance, headed around the corner to shove as much food in our mouths as humanly possible.

There was no line at 8 pm on a Wednesday night.  We walked right in to the beverage bar.  I sprang for soda, something I only do on special occasions.  THIS was that special day.

I started with a walk through, perusing the vast troughs of food.  Jesse joked that a shuttle bus would come by every ten minutes to take the kids to the far end of the buffet.  Heaven forbid we walk while experiencing a 6,000 calorie feast.

Michelle got a steak that was larger than her head.  She held it, in its entirity, on the end of her fork and chomped on the sides, juice dripping down her arm onto her white shirt.   

There was Chinese, Mexican, American, Italian, and seafood.  Country biscuits, yeast rolls, cornbread, cheese biscuits – and we tried them all.  We threw more food away tonight than we eat at most dinners.  We had soup, we had egg rolls, enchiladas and okra.  You want turkey and dressing or beets?  They’re down past the Indian fare.

When we could take no more, our stomachs jammed, we headed to the desert bar.  All three of the kids returned to the table with eyes lit up like Christmas morning.  Stephanie’s dessert plate was packed with chocolate pie, chocolate covered marshmallows and fruit, and soft serve ice cream sprinkled with M & M’s.  To top it off, at Jesse’s suggestion, a big fat yeast roll.  Nearing the end of the seventh course, I looked at Stephanie, the bread hanging between her lips. 

“Stop eating!” I strongly suggested.

“I just can’t Daddy,” she replied.

I thought we were through.  But the piece de la resistance…pink cotton candy – with no ferris wheel or Carnie in sight.  It was too good to be true.

On the way home, I heard the crumpling of paper.  Glancing in the rear view mirror I could see Michelle munching on saltine crackers she’d pocketed from the soup bar.

“Enough!” I shouted.  “We’ve had enough!  If you put one more thing in your mouth, you’re going to explode.”

“OK Daaad, but why are you driving so fast?”

“No particular reason….I call first dibs on the downstairs bathroom!”

It could be a very long night.

Leave a comment


  1. I LOVE a good buffet! Of course I resemble that comment. You need to indulge every once in a while.

  2. Lisa

     /  April 1, 2011

    Ah, this brings back such great childhood memories. It was Ryan’s for us rather than the Golden Corral. But a buffet is a buffet, right? I don’t understand how we could fit so much in! I would be in pain on the ride home. My pants unbuttoned and groaning. It was just ridiculous. Fun times.

    • Danny Tanner

       /  April 1, 2011

      I actually have been to a Ryans. I’m a southern boy and for years Lisa thought I was saying we had eaten at Rhines instead of Ryans. Good memories for me too.

  3. Jai

     /  April 1, 2011

    Golden Corral was known as the Mecca with my college roommates. We’d scrimp and save for that rare trip every couple of months to that beautiful beautiful place. Fortunately we had enough bathrooms for the long night that awaited us.

  4. Anne Spottswood

     /  April 1, 2011

    Golden Corral is one of my secret loves! Spent New Years Eve (YES New Year’s Eve) in a Golden Corral with my husband and friends. We stuck out like sore thumbs in there. I prefer to go on the starch diet when eating at GC. Macaroni and cheese, yeast rolls, and mashed potatoes. DIVINE!!

    • Danny Tanner

       /  April 1, 2011

      You could write a blog post on spending New Year’s Eve at the Golden Corral! That is priceless.

  5. Thunderbear

     /  April 1, 2011

    Have the name of a very good plumber if needed!

  6. Aunt Susan

     /  April 1, 2011

    I want to hear more about Jesse not being in the game! details please!!

  7. I think I burnt my kids out on Golden Corral. It’s really hard for me to resist the smell of all that food being cooked as we head into the nearby BEST BUY or FAMOUS FOOTWEAR. They’re not a fan of crowds when eating. In the beginning, it was easy to bribe them with talk of steak, shrimp, and chicken (Yes, you can have all 3 if you want, kids!)and endless piles of pie, cake, and ice cream with all the toppings (Sure, take more than one–it’s all included in the price and we need to make sure we get our money’s worth, anyway!). Now, they’re older and wiser and want no part of it. So, I sometimes sneek over there with a co-worker. 🙂

    I really like your blog and all the many varied subjects you cover–because real life is full of all kinds of subjects, right? So, I’ve awarded you with the Versatile Bloggers Award! I’ve named you on my site as one of the newest blogs I’ve found that I enjoy. I found you through Fresly Pressed and enjoy coming back to read about how you tackle daily life as a single dad (because I’m a single mom who could’ve really used an Uncle Jesse in my kid’s younger days!)who has been through quite a bit and still comes out with a trying attitude and the ability to face the challenge of raising children. You can get all the info on my blog when you have the time. It’s on my post this week. I look forward to going back and reading some of your earlier posts and continuing to read your writings in the future!

    • Danny Tanner

       /  April 3, 2011

      I’ll check you out! I’m a pretty new blogger – Jesse is the social media guru. I’m doing well to insert a picture in a post. But I sure do appreciate you reading and its good to know there are other single parents out there who have been down this road.

  1. A Huge Thank You! (and back to the trough….) « The Real Full House

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