Sunday Post 15: The Hawaii Theory

In January 2010, a month or so before Lisa died, I was trying to figure out how God would allow this to happen.  I firmly believed that He had the power to step in and save her.  As I tried hard to wrap some logic around the fact that my wife would likely die prematurely  from this horrible disease, several senarios came to mind.  One I called the Hawaii Theory.

I imagined that I walked into our house and announced to the family that I had booked a surprise trip to Hawaii.  We’d be heading out the following week and were going to spend 10 days in paradise.  Everyone was excited at first and then DJ said, “Dad, does that mean I’m going to miss the school dance next Friday?”

“Oh, yeah – you probably will,” I replied.

“Then I’m not going to Hawaii!  I want to stay here.”

“Honey, I’ve paid for this trip!  It’s Hawaii!!!  We’re going to have a great time.”

“You are so mean dad!  You can’t make me go.  I really want to go to the dance.  All of my friends will be there.  Hawaii is stupid.  I DON’T want to go!”

“I’m taking your butt to Hawaii and you’re calling me mean? This is crazy!.”

DJ calls her friends,  “My dad is making me go to Hawaii – he calls it paradise, with the family and now I’m going to miss the dance.”  They all concur that I’m an unreasonable jerk.

But – I make her go.  And, she has a GREAT time.  She meets new friends and she even admits it is the most beautiful place she’s ever been.  

Her friends all go to the dance, and although they miss DJ, they end up having a pretty good time without her.

Perhaps, just perhaps, this is what happened with Lisa.  God, the dad, taking her to a place so much better than she, or we, could ever imagine.  Us, the friends, so ticked at Him for not allowing her to go to the dance with us.  But, in the end, she gets to be somewhere that is so much better than where we are.  And the neat thing is that one day we get to join her.

As I think of the incredible sacrifice God made at Easter, as difficult as it was to see His son suffer, perhaps He knew that they would end up together – in the most beautiful place ever.  A place that we can’t comprehend –

Leave a comment


  1. Melanie Walker

     /  April 24, 2011

    Bruce, a perfect time to share the Hawaii theory. I think of it often.

  2. Kerri Hurley

     /  April 24, 2011

    Bruce, how beautiful for you to share on this Easter Sunday. Blessings to you and your family!

  3. Beautiful, Danny. Happy Easter to you and your family.

  4. Mary Aiken Barrow

     /  April 24, 2011

    Bruce, I LOVE this theory! I will definitely pass this story along to all my friends who are missing a loved one today and every day. Happy Easter!

  5. Lutu Coffey

     /  April 24, 2011

    My first thought when I read this post was “WOW”. Thank you for a beautiful spin on death.

  6. Aunt Susan

     /  April 24, 2011

    I think you nailed it! (pardon the pun) I think of my Dad as having a wonderful omlette breakfast, then off to the golf course, naturally making a few holes in one, then a nice nap, then his favorite dinner and some t.v. shows he liked. I like to think that he is happy, healthly and enjoying himself. Since he adored Lisa I like to think they are sharing some of these times.

  7. Faye Humphrey

     /  April 24, 2011

    So true Bruce. What a day of rejoicing that will be!

  8. Steve Gill

     /  April 24, 2011

    Had to comment on this one too. This is a “perfect” story to show how we really should see daddy. Daddy does know best. It’s really so simple and I am so thankful that Lisa is in Heaven. Today is the day that represents the day that Christ rose so that Lisa could have eternal life. I’m not happy for everyone that Lisa had to go…. but I ABSOLUTELY love God and know that He knows best. By the way, lives are touched every day because Lisa went to Heaven and you share stories about her and they are so powerful. I hate that she is gone…. but God is so awesome for helping you to shine your light for Him with your reflections of Lisa. Thanks…. The Lord is Risen Indeed.

    • April R Poole

       /  April 24, 2011

      Reading this is the perfect way to end Easter – remembering our loved ones in Paradise.

  9. lynn

     /  April 24, 2011

    That is one of the most beaitiful things I have ever read – thank you, Bruce!

  10. Mom

     /  April 24, 2011

    Love this post! It is a wonderful “human way” to look at heaven in a way that we can relate. You touch us all…even your old Mom.

  11. A very nice post with a good view point.

  12. Wren

     /  April 28, 2011

    Amen, Bruce. Amen.

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