They’re Gone

Posted by Danny

The kids are out of town!  Several nights alone.  Here’s what I plan to do…

  1.  Watch The Hangover with Jesse (just secured it from Netflix), a beer and pretzels in hand.
  2. Walk around in my boxers, no shirt.  Tuesday night I mowed the lawn shirtless because it was 150 degrees outside.  When I came back in the house, all three girls in tandem began whining, “Yuck – dad’s got his shirt off.  Gross!  Get dressed!  That’s nasty.”  I’m no Tom Cruise, but seriously, it’s not that bad.  I sort of understand though.  I saw my grandfather naked one time about 35 years ago and I’ve struggled to get that image out of my head.  I’m glad it was him and not my grandmother.
  3. Go out with the fellas – Brad and Steve let’s hit Raleigh Times – 9 pm on Tuesday!
  4. Stay up late – oh, I already do that.  How about sleep ‘til 8?
  5. Not go to Target.  In fact, I’m not even going to drive by it.  I’ve been there four times this week – two of those times were today.  I always have to buy something big when I go there – like the 48 roll pack of Charmin.  There is something about that place – I was headed to the register this afternoon with a $30 flashlight when it hit me…YOU DON’T NEED A $30 FLASHLIGHT…PUT IT BACK.  I set it down immediately in fresh foods…right next to the “buy two get two free” containers of blueberries – which I fell for.
  6. Leave work at 6:30 because I don’t have to pick anyone up from childcare.  I’m a little concerned that my co-workers might think the world is coming to an end if they leave before I do.  For their sake, perhaps I should not do this –
  7. Wear whatever I want.  Jesse won’t notice and wouldn’t give me his opinion if he had one.  I pulled out what I thought was a fairly cool pair of pants last week – sort of Seersuckerish – nice for the summer.  When I walked in the kitchen, Michelle said, “What do you have on?  I DO NOT like those pants.  DO NOT wear them again.”  She can’t tell me that –  I’m the father!  Jesse has threatened to move to wearing a white v-neck tee every day so as to simplify his so complex life.  The girls HATE the idea.  I wish he’d do it so the heat would be off me.
  8. Poot at the table – if I choose.  When Lisa was alive I could do that – she’d frown and call me out; that was her job.  With her gone, now I have to act appalled if that happens – but I’m really not.
  9. Not unclog toilets – Jesse says that the girls clog the commodes so much because of excess toilet paper.  We’re trying to teach the wipe a little/flush a little method, but it’s a never-ending battle.  I don’t understand it.  I know what I put in the toilet and it NEVER clogs for me.  Something’s just not adding up here.
  10.  Pine away for my kids to return.  I HATE an empty house.
Leave a comment


  1. I love this. I completely relate to Not Going To Target and Not Unclogging Toilets. We have never had a night at home with the kids gone since they came here. I fantasize sometimes. Maybe I’ll make a list!

    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 6, 2011

      You have to have time away – as much as I miss them, I realize we’re all better with a few breaks.

  2. Hmmm, seems like I’ve heard that “Dad, what ARE you wearing? I have to start buying your clothes! Or Mom, are those plastic shoes? Wonder where I heard that? Couldn’t be anything like what goes around comes around, could it?

  3. Tim Masters

     /  June 6, 2011

    As for the clogged toilets, we have the same problem in our house. I’ve had more than one plumber tell me that Charmin is the culprit. Try another brand. Cottonelle is good, Northern, too. We are now TP experts. Of course, the ladies using the facilities ALWAYS clog up the joint somehow. Not sure how or why…but it still happens regardless of brand. It’s just that with Charmin, it happens MUCH more frequently.

    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 6, 2011

      I’m going to try that. I hate the very thin stuff that won’t absorb – but maybe one of the other two would help. Charmin feels good on the butt but not on the stomach when you’re plugging someone else’s poo!

  4. Haha! Happy Freedom Week! I love that NOT going to Target is on your list. There’s only so much shopping a dude can take!

  5. Aunt Susan

     /  June 6, 2011

    Bet you have Target withdrawal!

    go ahead and leave early, just do it, don’t announce it, just walk out and wait and see what comments you get!

  6. Linda Smith

     /  June 6, 2011

    Dear Bruce, Just learn to deal with an empty house now, when you grow old the house is once again empty; and you will know how to handle it. Just think of it as a learning curve. It is not easy and that speaks highly of your love for these three gifts. I miss Karen and Greg so much. I miss game night and those big Sunday meals. No matter what the age, you miss them when they are gone. Enjoy your free time. We love you. Linda

  7. Take it from a plumber try a different brand. We use scotts brand. Yes it is thin but the thicker the paper the more likely to clog. I would love to be able to walk around in my boxers! No one to run around or pick up…sounds great! ENJOY!!

  8. Danny (B!)- You’ve gotta be somethin’ else agin! Luv your posts! Keep your sense of humor . . . it’ll get you thru a lot of stuff! Love ya ‘ Evie


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s