Posted by Danny
We’re at Topsail beach this week with Lisa’s side of the family. We’ve vacationed here, in the same rental house, for about a decade. The owners aren’t much for redecorating so every piece of furniture, every kitchen utensil, every knickknack seems to symbolize a part of our past.
My mother-in-law and I can picture Lisa doing the girls’ hair as she sat on the not very attractive off-white leather couch. The floral vacation sheets I dig out of the trunk in our bedroom have seen years of sandy, slightly sunburned bodies. The white 80’s style lace on the pillow cases matched the stack of t-shirts Lisa lived in this week.
4:00 – 7:00 pm is my absolute favorite time of the day on the beach. The strong breeze seems to blow the summer heat away. Not too cold, but cool enough. Lisa knew I loved this time of day and each afternoon would head back outside with ice-cold drinks in hand. We’d spend hours talking about the kids, dreaming of the future, planning our escape from the problems of life.
Looking back on it, I realize we didn’t have any.
Today I sat alone – my thoughts consumed with her.
Lisa’s mom said she heard of a song entitled Stuck in Reverse. Sometimes that’s where we all live.
Grief is a circle; you move forward and circle back. Perhaps not to the beginning, but sometimes mighty close.
I’d give both of my eyes to have her back.