I Can’t Even Imagine

Posted by Uncle Jesse

I almost wrote this post in February (hence the attempt at an avant-garde photo of the Tanner house Valentine’s wreath). It recently became relevant again.

Danny says he could take all the posts I’ve “almost written” and we’d have two blogs: The Real Full House blog and The Posts That Almost Made It Out Of Jesse’s Head And Onto The Real Full House blog. He’s a funny guy. But point taken–I’m not quite as good as Danny with the consistency piece.

Another thing I’m not as good as Danny at is listening. The guy is a human sounding board. I can’t imagine what it’s like for him having to feign interest in all the inane sports stuff I throw at him. Not that I think he’s a phony–he tells me his general interest in sports has grown (and I can attest that his knowledge has), and I believe him. Perhaps I just find it impossible for anyone else to care about the difference between the NBA and college basketball traveling rule. But you know what I’m good at? Talking. So I prattle on. And, even while cooking dinner, he plays the role of the engaged listener well, maintaining eye contact (glancing down briefly to empty the trash) and asking follow-up questions.

The same goes with stories about my weekends, my triumphs and frustrations with trying to start and grow and small business with my good friend, and the stupid MTV shows I watch. I don’t mean to suggest he gets nothing out of it–I do enjoy sharing music with him and I know he likes adding to his collection of tunes. I can’t yet tell if he’s sold on Chapelle’s Show, which I’ve been making him watch as Comedy Central replays them in summer, but he takes my word for it when I tell him the show was seminal, and thus puts up with the episodes I make him watch.

Some of my favorite conversations with him are about God. We talk about things we’ve read, or heard in church, or had explained to us but disagreed with. We both approach the subject with curiosity and humility. As Danny will attest, when I am certain I am right about something I will plow through any argument to the contrary (and enjoy the challenge along the way–perhaps a little too much). But most times these conversations involve phrases, “I think what makes the most sense in my head,” and “what I try to do is…”. The discussions always have the feel of two people trying to help each other learn more about a vastly complex subject, and I like that.

But there’s one thing that–though as we’ve talked about life and love and Lord, it has come up–I have trouble dumping on the guy:

How do you turn to a guy who lost his wife, best friend, lover, and mother to his three beautiful daughters….and complain about a broken heart?

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4 Comments

  1. Mel Ham

     /  July 7, 2011

    Profound you are…good choice in clip much more soulful than the bgees….I see so much of your sister in you…how I miss her…love mel

    Reply
  2. Wren

     /  July 7, 2011

    Hayes, it seems like just yesterday that I (being way too inquisitive and guilty of adoring any time with your sis) asked Lisa about her bro’ after learning that you & Kate H. were HS friends. We were in her office (always with the door shut – so we could reeaallly share the scoop), and she told me about you…and so many things that she shared, I have seen in you & then some. She wasn’t kidding when she said wirh great pride that you were really funny, incredibly smart (maybe “brilliant”) & deep. And a bit complex. All, in my opinion, excellent character traits. After reading this post and listening to the man singing his heart out and crying for a bit, I’m happy to share that I’ve wiped away the tears and thanks to you, I’ve learned two new words – prattle & seminal, and I’ve concluded that “mending a broken heart” is an oxymoron. But, through the love, hope and grace of our living God that He always show up, so look for Him. Life is a gift from heaven and how you live it is your religion. Any woman that breaks your heart, ain’t worth it. So hold out, and trust that the Man has the perfect plan for your beautiful & gracious life. You are everything Lisa knew & believed, and there is no doubt that she’s chiming in on your current & future love life! Blessings, w

    Reply
  3. Helen LaVere

     /  July 7, 2011

    Uncle Jesse, you are amazing. If you ever need to “dump” on someone, consider giving me a call…

    Love,
    H.

    Reply
  4. I heard this song and reading your comments on your conversations about God and faith I heard this song today and this post popped in my head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAcih91UF2E (i think we all question and need people to talk with). God bless.

    Reply

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