Sunday Post 25: “Just a Minute”

Posted by Danny

I love my kids more than life itself.  I love them with every fiber of my being.  You’d think that this love would outweigh all of the other things I have to get done.  I often don’t let it.

Tonight I told Michelle and Stephanie that we’d watch a movie after they took their baths.  We met in my bedroom.  I turned on The Miracle Worker which their Nana had rented for them to watch last week (didn’t get around to it).  They snuggled in my bed…and I changed the laundry, paid several bill, lifted my ten pound dumbbells, called my mom, packed for our next vacation and made my coffee for tomorrow. 

About 45 minutes into the movie, I heard little footsteps, “Dad!  Dad!  I thought you were going to watch the movie with us.  The girl in it acts like an animal and I’m scared.  Will you come lay down with us?”

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

I bet I say that 17 times a day.  Or “as soon as I finish this.”  Or “I’ve got to get this done first.”

The problem is, THIS never ends.  There is always THIS or THAT to do. 

And now, my baby is 14.  The bills are paid, the lawn looks fine and I’m in fairly good shape – but I’ve missed hours and hours of cuddling.  And I’ve missed creating Crayola pictures and I’ve missed building the biggest sandcastle.  And it’s a shame. 

I can clean the house when DJ moves away to go to college.  I can pay the bills after they go to bed.  But I’ll never get the first 45 minutes of  protecting Michelle from the scary girl in A Miracle Worker.  What a mistake on my part.

Leave a comment


  1. Mel Ham

     /  July 10, 2011

    I know those times…I especially remember them when it was just me and cam…I would say give me 5 minutes…to finish whatever it was I felt like it just couldn’t wait one leg up on tomorrow..then whatever amount of time passed that exceed my 5 minutes I would find my boy…sweetly my bed..and I felt like I had missed his wedding or graduation…I say all of this because it may not be a consolation but we all do it…the fact that you have noticed.. can fix it…it is something in how we are wired…I am ashamed of the times just like this that I can’t get back…you are a good dad…loving,honest, direct a good mix…

  2. Mom

     /  July 10, 2011

    You got it! That’s what it’s all about but life is busy. It’s not always we can do the “right” thing. You do a better job that we did. Give youself a star on that job. Mom

  3. It is so difficult for any parent to relax in the moment, knowing all of the things we need to accomplish and how little time we have to accomplish them. You won’t get those 45 minutes back, but you can still build the biggest sandcastle.

  4. Aunt Susan

     /  July 10, 2011

    don’t forget to make mud pies real and ediable and be aware, you are aware now, so make different choices, and know that you are important to them and in their lives.

  5. You are a million steps ahead of a lot of parents because you notice this. There are so many folks that don’t realize this until everybody is grown and on their own. I say start fresh today. There’s time to cuddle them yet!

  6. Elizabeth Dixon

     /  July 10, 2011

    I share your frustration over those wonderful missed moments with our kids. The first step is recognition of the problem…we’re there…now let’s “carpe diem” and enjoy them needing us while they still do!!!

    Hope you all are having a nice summer! You are a great dad! Hang in there…Godspeed,
    Elizabeth Dixon

  7. Susan

     /  July 10, 2011

    I wish I could go back and take my dad up on all those times he asked me to just sit and talk with him while he weeded the yard or not run for the hills when my mom asked me to sit and talk with her while she did the dishes. I know that they’d rather have been doing something else, but these things needed to get done and I now realize that on top of getting exhausted doing the chores, they were also feeling the guilt of not spending time with us. I told my kids the above and over the years, we’ve created serious competitions and incentives for group chore execution. It’s not perfect (some of us are way too competitive and some of us cannot put down the wii), but I think I’ve seen a glimmer of recognition that doing so brings relief to mom in more ways than one. Really gets me though when I do get stuck on something and I find them asleep while they waited up for me to finish, Just have to remember that I am not perfect and trust that the bulk of the memories made are good ones!

  8. You are not alone in those feelings! It is great that you recognize it and are making an effort to stop and just be with your kiddos. Kudos to you!

  9. I swore my children would never have a realistic concept of time because I so often said, “I’ll be in in 5 minutes.” only to show up 45 minutes later. And now it seems I forget what I was doing and leave them hanging – and I’m not that old:)!
    It does take a conscious effort to put down the laundry, bills, work, etc. and be present. It should be so easy, it doesn’t cost anything, but it’s not.
    From what I’ve read on your blog, you’re a pretty amazing parent. Keep up the good work. And thanks for sharing your insights through your blog.

    • Danny Tanner

       /  July 14, 2011

      it is so easy to get caught up in the small stuff and avoid what’s really important. thanks for the encouragement!


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