Minute by Minute

Tonight I sat and watched a movie about owls with Michelle and Stephanie.  I don’t think it will pull in any Academy Awards, but it was entertaining enough for an 8-year-old, and 11-year-old and an old man who was just there for the snuggling.

As I twirled Michelle’s hair and scratched Stephanie’s arm, I thought how fortunate I was – fortunate to be here watching them grow up.  When the movie stared, I hardly watch the screen; I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.  They’re fascinating to me.  So beautiful.  So perfect. 

When Lisa was very sick and knew she would die, we discussed what bothered her most.  It wasn’t the fear of the after life – I think she felt pretty confident that she was going to a pretty good place.  And she said she wasn’t concerned for herself that she would miss our girls’ weddings.  She knew her mom and sister could easily plan their perfect day.  She said she was just sad that they wouldn’t have their mother there.  That made me sad too.  I already had my plan for that day. 

When the minister asked “Who gives this woman to be married?”  I was going to respond, “Her mother.”  Those were my sentiments.  I guess I can’t do that now.

The other huge regret Lisa had was that she couldn’t picture what Michelle would be like when she grew up.  She said she had a glimpse of how DJ would turn out and felt pretty confident that she could envision Stephanie in a few years.  But Michelle was so young, Lisa was grappling to see.

So, I count my blessings that I can watch, day by day, hour by hour, and tonight minute by minute, as they blossom into young women.  I try to watch extra closely so that I can see for both Lisa and me.  She would be so proud of them.

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9 Comments

  1. Wren

     /  July 27, 2011

    Beautiful. Blessings!!

    Reply
  2. Yes she would be proud of them. And so are we. They are wonderful girls and you are doing a great job of raising them. Lisa would be proud of you too. She told you that she wasn’t worried about them…that she knew you would do you could do it right. As much as we wish it could have been different, we are also very proud of you and the way you have handled it. You have done it right.

    Reply
  3. Man… hard to follow Mae’s comment. But, ditto? Can I ditto her? You girls are awesome, all there is to it, awesome. Wade and I always admired and hope to parent like you and Lisa. You’re probably laughing at that but its true! Your girls are growing into very cool young women. Time is flying…

    Reply
  4. Can I ditto the original and second ditto? Ditto Ditto? I think you understand so clearly something that most parents don’t realize until their kids are grown and the time has passed. Every. Single. Minute they are growing, and there’s no bigger treat than getting to spend your time watching!

    Reply
  5. Aunt Gayle

     /  July 27, 2011

    Nothing like a good cry in the morning. Everyone have a great day. P.S.Count your blessings, love your parent; my 90 year old Mom and I are taking dog training classes AND she is on a doubles bowling team with my 19 year old son. It never stops, we are all so blessed.

    Reply
  6. Priscilla

     /  July 27, 2011

    Dear Danny.
    Your noreply are a blessing and wonderful gift to us. Thank you so much for them. You have a wonderful gift of sharing which makes us more aware of what it means to be human and children of God.
    May God keep you and your little ones in the palm of his hand.
    Don

    Reply
  7. I think including their mother in the wedding “hand off” is a fantastic idea. Even the standard “her mother and me.” It would remind everyone that Lisa is still there, even if only in spirit. It will be a hit. Seriously.

    Reply
  8. Aunt Susan

     /  July 29, 2011

    I will bo terribly unorginal and say ditto to mom again and ditto to the poolman, both nailed it, as you have.

    Reply

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