Stranded on I 95

Posted by Danny

This post is dedicated to my daughters who I’ve cracked on mercilously through the years for inconvenient bathroom stops.

I was trapped!  Heading down I-95 North to West Virginia, it was 9 pm and I was alone.  The kids rode with the grandparents earlier that day.  I was ready for the six-hour drive, my  i Phone newly filled with 1,900 of my favorite songs.  Kenny Chesney keeping me company.

I knew the urge to tinkle was coming, but I didn’t realize the traffic that was in front of me.  Nor did I understand the lack of exits between Richmond and Fredericksburg, Va.  I was in a hurry.  I’d heard bad things about stopping at rest areas at night, besides, the next one was 43 miles away.  There seemed to be no other option. 

I eyeballed my McDonald’s cup.  Yep, I still had the lid.

I didn’t realize how difficult it would be while in transit.  Moving, while moving, is nearly impossible.

I drank the last bit of Diet Coke and strategically placed my fountain drink holder.  Stop , then go – there were brake lights everywhere.  I glanced at the cars around me.  It was dark, the semi driver next to me couldn’t possibly see.  I’m sure he’s done the same thing, he drives for a living!

Almost…then a horn.  I’d forgotten to press the gas and was lagging behind the car ahead of me.  I sped up, my bladder contracted.

Think about something relaxing.  A day on the beach – not helping!  I don’t do that on the beach.  Picture the bathroom – yellow walls, a window, a tan tile floor.  Whew… relief.

Oh no, the cup is filling yet I’m not empty.  Can I stop mid stream?   

Brake!

Oh man. 

No wonder girls pee in their pants.  Sometimes there just isn’t a better option.

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4 Comments

  1. Mel Ham

     /  August 24, 2011

    You are an open book. It’s a rite of passage for the male gender to master this skill. I have two at my house…Cam thought this was the neatest thing…and I have been a witness to this on many occasions…Gatorade bottles. This is why Chad can make record breaking time to any destination…I have threatened to use the ash tray if he didn’t stop now. It’s just a part of the trip now…I hold the steering wheel while the “situation” is being set..

    Reply
  2. Helen LaVere

     /  August 24, 2011

    Danny, you just made me pee my pants! You’re my hero.

    Reply
  3. Aunt Susan

     /  August 24, 2011

    ask your f-in-law about going on car tirps as a kid. too bad his mother isn’t around to tell you all about it. If he won’t I will! she loved telling about it.

    Reply
  4. Paige T.

     /  August 29, 2011

    No you didn’t. Shut the front door! I am so laughing….

    Reply

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