Forgot the Panties

Posted by Danny

So I forgot her underwear and bras, what’s the big deal?

I was in a rush.  The kids usually help me pack their bags for our weekend jaunts.  Last week there simply wasn’t time.  I had to go it alone.  Stephanie and Michelle receiving an incredible education on Friday at school while I stuffed the Totes.

I remember at one point, while digging through Michelle’s shirts, thinking, “You haven’t gotten underwear.”  I headed to that drawer and threw a few pair in her bag.  But when I hit Stephanie’s room, my main focus was picking outfits she’d be seen in.  Underwear were not a part of my mental  picture.

When we arrived at our destination, clothes started flying.  She dug to the bottom, opened all of the side pockets.  No sign of undergarments.  I  was in the shower when I heard the scream.

“Daaaaadddd!!!  YOU FORGOT MY UNDERWEAR AND BRAS!!!”

Ohhh.  Stay in the shower.  It’s nice in here.

I tried to explain the benefits of giving your skin a break from elastic.  “That stuff can hurt your circulation.  It’s good to have a break.  Your blood flow will be excellent on Monday.” 

She didn’t buy it.

“Did you know that Jesse didn’t wear underwear for about six years?  Believe me, I know – as does everyone else who came in contact with him during shorts season.  And you think he’s mighty cool.  You and Jesse – no undie buddies!” 

No takers.

“How about your bathing suit?  That could work.”

“Dad, it’s a one piece.”

“Covers top and bottom!  Sounds like a fix to me.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“In medieval times, women didn’t even wear panties.  And bras weren’t invented until the 1900’s.  Your great-great-great grandmother never wore one.”

“Why are you talking about my ancestor’s underwear habits?  What am I supposed to do?”

“Wear your sister’s.  Ya’ll are about the same size.”

A minute passes.

“These are like grandma underwear!  They come up to my belly button.”

“Your mom loved her granny pants.  Said those were the best undies she owned.”

I think that struck a chord!

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7 Comments

  1. Randomly found your post on the Travel page today, happy I did. My wife and I got a good hearty laugh out of “giving your skin a break from elastic”. Isn’t it a drag when kids are smart? Thanks for the laugh.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 3, 2011

      Raising three girls – I’m learning a lot about how smart they are!!

      Reply
  2. Mom

     /  October 3, 2011

    Love it! Glad I wasn’t there trying to come up with solutions! A lesson learned…underwear first.

    Reply
  3. Wren

     /  October 3, 2011

    Amen, Lisa & go Stephanie – tell her Mrs. R says bikinis are overrated & sooo yesterday! : )

    Reply
  4. Wren

     /  October 3, 2011

    PS – Your blog is balm for thy soul ~ with love from the man cave!! : /

    Reply
  5. I’m not sure they needed to hear that about their Uncle Jesse. “…during shorts season.” 🙂

    Reply

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