Sunday Post 39: Tight Knit

Posted by Danny

A friend wrote me today and shared that her cousin’s wife just died of cancer.  In fact, she wrote that he was on his way back to South Carolina to tell his young children that their mother was gone.

As I read, a flood of emotion engulfed me.  I remembered that drive so vividly.

Jesse was at the wheel.  It was a cold February night – heading down I 40 toward Raleigh.  I felt numb.  I knew I would be surrounded by people who loved me, but I felt utterly alone. 

We arrived back home from the hospital at around 5 am.  We’d been up all night saying our goodbyes.  We were empty.

Stephanie was sleeping in my room downstairs, she had visited Lisa in the hospital before bedtime.  I had no idea that would be the last.

When Stephanie awoke at 7, I carried her up to DJ’s room and got Michelle.  The four of us sat on the bed. 

As difficult as that short, quiet conversation was, I believe it was a powerful moment for our family.  In that instant, an unspoken bond was formed.  Through sadness, and without words, we committed to standing by each other, regardless.  Regardless of how much we might get on each other’s nerves.  Regardless of stubborn disagreements.  Regardless of mistakes we all would make.

A hole the size of the Grand Canyon had been left, but the remaining parts were going t0 pull closer together. 

Traveling through hardship has a way of bringing a family closer.  The last six months of Lisa’s life, under immense pain and pressure, allowed for the strongest connection I’d ever had with her.  You’d think that pain, fear and loss would drive wedges between folks.  In our case, it had the opposite effect. 

I’m thankful for my last year with my wife.  It was beautiful.  I can’t think of another word to describe it.

I am thankful for the bond with my girls.  I don’t believe there is anything that can break it.

Leave a comment


  1. Mom

     /  October 16, 2011

    That was an awful night. I, too, remember that night…the drive to Raleigh…the quiet house…the call. BUT…we are all making it through. Your bond with your girls is so very strong and will always be. You’ve been what they needed and so has Hayes. You two have made it work. We are proud of you all.

  2. Aunt Susan

     /  October 16, 2011

    Your sunday posts are the most difficult, yet most compelling to read. I remember the phone call from your father-in-law. It was awful, but the first thougt that crossed my mind was how nice it was that she was out of pain. Then I thought, how awful for you and the girls, but that you and Lisa had done such a job with the girls, that you all would carry on and be strong. I also remember thinking that as awful as it was for them to lose their mom soooooo young, they still had you and a very strong support family and that they would go on to become awsome women in time. And that has been so.

  3. Christopher

     /  October 17, 2011

    Bruce, you sweet, loving man, father, husband, soul. Thank you for sharing this with me. Your words are clear and powerful. ….A dad on the left coast.

    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 17, 2011

      It’s nice to know there are dads slugging it out north, south, east and west!


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