Posted by Danny
I need a box. A great big box. Because that’s what Michelle wants for Christmas.
I came home the other day and she handed me her “Christmas Chart.” On the left side of her graph were the numbers 0 – 100, listed in descending order by tens. across the bottom of the page she listed her Christmas desires.
She then rated each requested gift with a number value and wrote whether it was a need or a want.
Scarfs (sic) were rated a 50 and classified as a need.
A Justin Bieber doll was rated a 90 and classified as a want.
New stationary received a 40 and was definitely a need.
But a cardboard box? It rated 100 and had bright green hash marks surrounding the “want” classification.
I said “Michelle, why do you want a box for Christmas?”
Her glare at me said it all – does this man have an imagination?
“Well, for starters, I plan to decorate it with paint and colored markers. I will then turn it over and use it as a playhouse. My friend Ben actually had two at his house. It was so cool.”
She had a point. There are times this past year that I would have liked to sit under a box – maybe she’ll let me borrow it.
Based on my other children’s wish list, I’m guessing this could be the last Christmas that I can get away with a winning gift that won’t cost me a penny. This is my Christmas dream.
But where in the heck am I going to find a large box? I’m thinking something that a stove might come in. It would really burst my bubble if I had to buy a kitchen appliance to fulfill my child’s greatest Christmas desire. But if the damn oven drawer keeps falling out every time I grab a pot, I may be in the market.
Assuming that doesn’t happen, if you have any suggestions of where Santa could get some help with some major cardboard, please let me know. I’m sure Uncle Jesse would drive a few miles with me to pick it up.
And if you knock on my door after December 26 and no one answers, I’m probably upstairs in the Kenmore box.