Pedicure 101

Posted by Danny

My mother-in-law gave me a gift certificate for a pedicure for my birthday.  Eee.  I’m just not so sure about that.

I’ve been to the salon on several occasions – primarily to drop a kid off or pick one up.  Did you know they have this blow dryer for your fingers?  You stick your newly painted digits under these tiny Barbie fans and BOOM – you’re set to go!

Last year we had a birthday party there, not mine but one of the girls.  I really wanted to put my tongue under the fan, but I couldn’t find a time that someone wasn’t looking.  And the fans are in the front of the store, right beside the shopping center sidewalk.  I was afraid my mom might walk by.  She told me never to put my tongue near a moving blade.

I asked my mother-in-law if you could get a pedicure if you had planter’s warts.  She asked and they said yes. 

The salon near our house has staff who can all speak another language.  I’ll have to admit, it’s a little disconcerting to have all the staff talking when you don’t know what they’re saying.  They all speak English – so why would they use another language?  I’ll tell you why.  They’d speak in another language if they didn’t want you to know what they were saying.

“Oh, look at his nasty feet!”

“Un.  What did you do wrong to get him girl?”

“He’d better leave me a big tip.”

“I can tell from here he’s cheap.  Won’t even pay to get those warts taken care of.”

“Looks like he cuts his toenails in the Walmart parking lot.”

I told DJ I didn’t want to get my nails painted.  She scoffed – “You don’t have to get your nails painted when you get a pedicure.”  But I thought that’s what a pedicure was –

I do know this – after you get your feet worked on, they make you wear these flimsy yellow flip-flops.  But they’re no good at the beach – they’ll tear up in a minute.  I tried Lisa’s one time, barely made it off our pier before they fell apart.

I do think I’m gonna try this – I love to have my feet rubbed.  And  my mother-in-law told me it’s very relaxing.  What can I say?  I trust her – she’s never led me astray before.

I’ll let you know how it turns out. 


Leave a comment


  1. Mel ham

     /  December 14, 2011

    Being a pedicure technician is not for the pale at heart. Your brother has been once with me…they all fussed over him..and there was a large fella next to me a couple of time back that must have walked to the salon barefooted from Raleigh. They have this magical stuff, clear gel stuff, and this cheese grater…it will remove 46 years of dead’ll see episodes of Berkshire Drive, Hickory pass before your eyes…I swear they sloughed off a cup of skin..i had baby feet when I got done. I just get kind of un-nerved when they keep looking into my face for a reaction as they mash and rub my you like this..I misunderstood my favorite Sunny one day..I thought he said” Make a noise!”…still not sure what he said…but I repeated back what I thought he said..he just laughed…Go..and report back….you might get hooked. OPI is the best polish BTW. Watch for consistency of the polish though…they add acetone to alot of them which make your stuff chip prematurely.
    love much Mel

    • Mel ham

       /  December 14, 2011

      okay I clicked the clipping toenails link in the blog text….no doubt Ann read this blog…are those your feet?….You have a handsome face…those feet need work…Get that pedi…you’ll love it!

  2. Mom

     /  December 14, 2011

    Since I can’t stand anyone messing with my feet, I can’t give you any advice. Mel doesn’t make it seem enticing to me. I think I’ll just grate my own feet. At least I trust myself not to cut off a couple of toes in the process.

  3. Jean

     /  December 14, 2011

    This oughta be good!! I never know whether I’ll be crying or laughing after I’ve read your latest post. I think I know this time… : )

  4. Aunt Susan

     /  December 14, 2011

    oh get one! it’s the best!! you do have a good MIL, and try some reflexology it’s a whole lot better!

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