Posted by Danny
The pig pressure is mounting. Be strong – be strong.
The week before Christmas I had a sitter in for the girls. I thought the sitter was my friend – we go to church together. She is not –
Apparently when I called her to stay with the girls, she began thinking about a way to entertain them while I was out. She reads our blog and had talked with DJ about the girls’ desire for an animal – specifically their preoccupation with a swine.
Rather than watch a nice G rated movie or play Monopoly, this calculating caregiver devised a plan that would both entertain the girls and support their oinkish objectives.
They spent the first hour of their time together drawing and cutting out pigs – there had to be fifty of them. And on the back of each one, a message was written that would endorse the adoption of a sow.
The first piggy cut out I found was under the milk jug in the fridge. The cute pink head, complete with snout, stuck to the bottom shelf. I picked it up with curiosity – turned it over and found this inscription: We will help!
I didn’t think much of it, besides, it was 1 am and I was hungry.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that there were pigs strewn about the house from my soap dish, to the mailbox, to my favorite pair of boxer shorts. I even discovered one the following morning tucked under the windshield wiper, flapping in the wind as we drove down Capital Boulevard to church.
I’ll have to admit, the marketing campaign was compelling. Their well thought out angle was clearly crafted by this woman who heads the communications department for a local nonprofit.
- Pigs teach responsibility.
- They’re good for the environment.
- Dads + Pigs = Love.
- No extra vaccuming needed (hairless).
- Coolest pet ever.
- Jesse will build the fence.
- Great blog posts.
- We’ll buy him a bowtie collar.
All well and good, but I think the icing on the cake came when I opened my stocking on Christmas morning. In the very top was a note in cursive:
Dear Danny, get the pig. Santa
If I took creativity into account when considering the purchase of a family pet, we would already have one.
I love my nutty kids but can’t figure out where they get that trait.