Posted by Danny
I think in many ways I’d been in the same place for years. Complacent. Settling for a life with little to no growth.
The routine was the same: work, drive home, eat dinner, watch TV – the Eyewitness News, sleep and then start all over again. The weekends would change-up a bit, I’d mow the lawn.
I had no desire to be more. I didn’t want to move beyond my comfort zone.
Well guess what? I was shoved, donkey kicked, into a position where I had to grow.
It’s been incredibly uncomfortable. And the kick hurt like hell – I still have the bruises to show for it.
Jesse and I started this blog 52 weeks ago. I’d never even read one before.
If you’d have asked me to “tweet” at the time, I’d have acted the bird. Twitter was for Jesse and the other young dudes.
I had not sung since I was in the youth choir at my church in high school and my participation was mainly for the year-end trip. Had Lisa asked me to try out for A Christmas Carol, I would have scoffed and sent her on her way.
Write and let someone else read it? No way. It was actually a journal about her illness that got that ball rolling. I didn’t know I could write a coherent sentence – because I’d never tried.
I wonder why it took something so awful to make me wake up and begin to grow.
My focus has changed – it’s about my girls. Why wasn’t it about them five years ago?
I’ve navigated the high school decision and shopped for a cotillion dress. I’ve braided hair and held my kids when the sadness was thick.
I’ve been on a girls’ weekend getaway since this time last year. Our family took a cruise, not an option before. “I have claustrophobia,” was my lame excuse.
I’ve really, really talked to God – and I think He’s heard me because I was yelling fairly loudly.
I guess it’s OK to sit behind a desk all day and then replace that with a couch at 6. But maybe God wants more. Maybe He wants us to reach out in a different way or to discover an untapped talent or to more fully develop one we already know. Not likely I would accomplish that while watching The Colbert Report.
I can’t say that it’s been fun – this changing. And I certainly wouldn’t trade Lisa for the new things I’ve experienced – not in a million years.
But perhaps it was time to shift a bit – time to experience rather than to just watch.
Wonder why I didn’t do that before…