Sunday Post 52: A Year of Growth

Posted by Danny

I think in many ways I’d been in the same place for years.  Complacent.  Settling for a life with little to no growth.

The routine was the same:  work, drive home, eat dinner, watch TV – the Eyewitness News, sleep and then start all over again.  The weekends would change-up a bit, I’d mow the lawn. 

I had no desire to be more.  I didn’t want to move beyond my comfort zone. 

Well guess what?  I was shoved, donkey kicked, into a position where I had to grow.  

It’s been incredibly uncomfortable.  And the kick hurt like hell – I still have the bruises to show for it.

Jesse and I started this blog 52 weeks ago.  I’d never even read one before. 

If you’d have asked me to “tweet” at the time, I’d have acted the bird.  Twitter was for Jesse and the other young dudes.

I had not sung since I was in the youth choir at my church in high school and my participation was mainly for the year-end trip.  Had Lisa asked me to try out for A Christmas Carol, I would have scoffed and sent her on her way. 

Write and let someone else read it?  No way.  It was actually a  journal about her illness that got that ball rolling.  I didn’t know I could write a coherent sentence – because I’d never tried.

I wonder why it took something so awful to make me wake up and begin to grow. 

My focus has changed – it’s about my girls.  Why wasn’t it about them five years ago?

I’ve navigated the high school decision and shopped for a cotillion dress.  I’ve braided hair and held my kids when the sadness was thick. 

I’ve been on a girls’ weekend getaway since this time last year.  Our family took a cruise, not an option before.  “I have claustrophobia,” was my lame excuse. 

I’ve really, really talked to God – and I think He’s heard me because I was yelling fairly loudly. 

I guess it’s OK to sit behind a desk all day and then replace that with a couch at 6.  But maybe God wants more.  Maybe He wants us to reach out in a different way or to discover an untapped talent or to more fully develop one we already know.  Not likely I would accomplish that while watching The Colbert Report.

I can’t say that it’s been fun – this changing.  And I certainly wouldn’t trade Lisa for the new things I’ve experienced – not in a million years. 

But perhaps it was time to shift a bit – time to experience rather than to just watch. 

Wonder why I didn’t do that before…

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15 Comments

  1. Wren

     /  January 15, 2012

    Robert & I found and learned the hard way that on the other side of intense darkness is light, and there is gratitude to God on the other side of grief. While that grief never leaves your heart, soul or life, your life changes as you evolve, and the gifts of the Spirit begin to peek through. Praise be to God ~ Our living Savior! And Lisa ~ oh how proud she would be of you. All our love, w&r

    Reply
  2. amy

     /  January 15, 2012

    dear danny tanner. i have come to these same sort of mind questions. why was life so complacent before. i think we do grow up thinking “those” things only happen to other people. each day feels so differnet than before. my daughter tells a story …but the words coming from her mouth have so much more meaning. i’m sad i let all those stories unfold before and did not pick up on the deep meaning of her stories. i hear them all now. every word. thx for your ongoing stories.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 15, 2012

      I never dreamed it could happen to me. But it did. Could I have been more prepared? I just don’t know. But maybe, as I hit hard times in the future – I’ll be a better and stronger person.

      Reply
  3. I don’t even know you, but I feel so proud of you!!

    Reply
  4. Danny, our church lost a founding member yesterday. Nell Finch was an 84 year old who shared her self and her faith and her talents in many ways. So wide was her reach, the church needs to provide childcare and additional handicap parking for the service. Doing new things is how she lived her life. She would have loved this piece.

    Reply
  5. Aunt Susan

     /  January 15, 2012

    You have learned the lesson that we are to learn daily. God has plans for us, and they can hurt becasue we don’t understand them, and as humans we don’t really like change. Five years ago you had a partner on earth to help you with the girls, now she is not on earth, but you are wise enough to listen to her guidance and accept it. You as a person have grown so much in the last two years, and the girls have grown and will contiune to grow all for the pain and loss you had to suffer. We can only know that Lisa is watching you all, and enjoying the show. Keep up the good work.

    Reply
  6. Change happens and a lot of it we don’t necessarily like or for that matter want. Hopefully we learn and grow as it happens and with God’s grace we continue on. You are doing so!

    Reply
  7. Mom

     /  January 16, 2012

    We are so proud of you, but then, we always have been. We have two incredible sons who have tremendous strength and wisdom. You just don’t see these things in your own life until you have a crisis. We always knew how strong you are. Now you know it too. We are truly blessed to have to have such sons..

    Reply
  8. Brenda

     /  January 19, 2012

    I read these thoughts of yours and laugh, and cry, and am in awe of your ability to write and share… wanted to use another word like “poignant” but wasn’t sure if this thing did spell check…yes it does.

    And your mother’s comments always make me cry. It makes me wonder how I would feel if one of my boys suffers the loss you have… ya just make think and that is a really good thing. Thanks for writing!!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 20, 2012

      I appreciate the feedback! And don’t mean to make you cry!!

      Reply
  9. teamrowlands

     /  February 28, 2013

    Really touching and incredibly profound in such a “genuine-not trying to be way”. Thanks

    Reply

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