Posted by Danny
I occasionally teach my adult Sunday School class. We study the bible trying to understand the historical times as well as trying to figure out what it can mean for us today. By far, my favorite verse to teach was written by the apostle Paul and is in the book of Colossians: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
When that verse would appear in a lesson, I would read it slowly, awaiting my wife’s reaction. She’d grab the sides of her skirt, cross her arms and shift in her chair. I knew I was treading on thin ice.
Some of the men in class might have wanted to believe this verse was the true desire of God, but our wives wouldn’t let us. Lisa had a great many talents but submission was not one of them.
As much as I enjoyed sparring back and forth with the women in the class about God wanting them to submit to their husbands, I did not want that in a wife and that is not what I want for my girls.
Perhaps it’s because I have never seen that exemplified in my family.
We called one of my grandmothers Idee (her name was Ivy). She did not submit!
One day she came home from work and my grandfather had her housekeeper, Ophelia, out hoeing in his garden. Idee was not happy.
“Spurgeon! If you ever come in my house and tell Ophelia to dig in that damn garden, I’ll have your head. You need a farm hand? You go find your own!”
The next day he dropped off a crop of squash on Idee’s kitchen counter which he’d grown himself (well, with a little help from Ophelia). Idee opened the lid of the trashcan and with one swoop of her arm across the formica counter deposited the 12 yellow gourds into the Glad bag.
“Take my maid outside to hoe and then drop these damn dirty vegetables on my counter. You bring any more of this %$&# in here and I’ll…” She finished the sentence under her breath. I intently looked down at The Florence Morning News as if I didn’t hear.
Papa didn’t get mad. He just laughed it off. Plus, I think he was scared of her.
Someone recently told me, “Your mother is the sweetest lady.”
Well, she’s sweet, but she’s not the sweetest. Let’s just say she sometimes has opinions and obviously her mother, Ivy, didn’t set a great example of demure.
Yes – my girls are surrounded by strong women. Lisa’s sister has a PhD from John’s Hopkins and a MD from Harvard. She’s going to save the continent of Africa from AIDS. And the only thing my mother-in-law has ever submitted to was a mandatory drug test upon hire in the local school system (she passed).
My dream for my girls is not for them to submit, in marriage or career, but rather to be confident and sure of what they want and need. And if any guy thinks he’s gonna come in and find a Tanner girl willing to cater to his every whim, he might get a rude awakening. Thus far, I see glimpses of thoughtfulness but not a lot of surrender.
Good luck fellas.