P90X HAS TAKEN OVER

Posted by DJ

Recently my Dad has been on this workout rant. I mean, he is always doing something to try and get rid of his flabbyness. Once he lifted cans of baked beans, other times he has come up with his own lifting patterns which I swear he just made up to embarrass me.

I wonder when he will realize there is just no use. He is a forty-six year old man, if he wanted to be big and buff he should have figured that out in high school.

But lately, he has discovered P90X. He borrowed it from one of his friends (I’m not sure which one, but when I find out they will pay, big time).

Here is the basic gist of this daily workout.  It is about an hour-long and consists of:

Some man named Tony Horton, who is ripped and has gorgeous abs, yelling at you through the television. Half the time you cannot even understand what he is saying.

Now when Tony gets tired, he stops exercising and just walks around and tells everyone else working out in the room with him what they are doing wrong. So helpful.

In this multi-disk program, you use weights and huge rubber bands, and occasionally a chair or two.

The point of this blog post is to let you know how embarrassing it is when I have friends over and your dad walks out into the kitchen (where our food is prepared) all sweaty and smelly and he starts having a conversation with your guest who is obviously disgusted. The worst part is his outfit. He either wears gym shorts or his underwear and a t-shirt with holes in it (which my mother tried to get rid of on multiple occasions, guess I should take that responsibility over).

I am not saying that it is bad that he is working out and keeping himself in shape. I’m just saying that he did not “go up a size in sports coats, because my arms are getting too buff.” You think he was kidding, or I made that quote up? Nope, dead serious this came out of his mouth with a straight face.

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14 Comments

  1. Sarah LF

     /  March 7, 2012

    hahaha You expect us to believe that DJ wrote “gorgeous abs” and “multi-disk program?”

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  March 7, 2012

      she wrote the whole dang thing. I just added the graphic.

      Reply
  2. Mom

     /  March 7, 2012

    Yep, I’m sure she did write it. I’ve been there when she wrote another one. She gives her Dad a lot of grief. It keeps him in check. They figure that’s their job. I’ll have to say, he returns the favor.

    Reply
  3. Dave K

     /  March 7, 2012

    Way to go, DJ. Been missing your contributions. Keep it up!

    Reply
  4. Lynn Moss

     /  March 7, 2012

    You are hilarious! I think you may have a future as a writer, too!! Can’t wait to see you all soon!

    Reply
  5. Beth

     /  March 7, 2012

    love this!
    Her mother’s daughter.
    love it!

    Reply
  6. Charlotte

     /  March 7, 2012

    DJ, you truly have your work cut out for you. The good news is that all this exercise mania will help to ensure that Danny is around to embarass you for a very long time. You think it’s bad now, just project yourself 30 years into the future….

    Reply
  7. Hahaha. DJ, you just perfectly explained what my poor toddler must be thinking when I’m trying to do The Shred. He’s two and doesn’t say much, but that look of disgust and horror when I try to do a basketball jump in my tacky gym shorts pretty much says it all 🙂 Poor kid!

    Reply
  8. Aunt Susan

     /  March 7, 2012

    Oh DJ, you nailed it! Bravo to you, now distract your dad and send one of the sisters in to snag the t shirt and BURN it since if he finds it he will use it again!
    It’s great to see you are keeping him in line, how’s it going with Jesse? I can understand he may be a little tougher.
    As for your quote, yeah I believe it, it is dead on Danny. Hope your submitting this to your writing class. Have the teacher call me if they don’t believe it.

    Reply
  9. Leslie Schwager

     /  March 8, 2012

    What a great post! Thanks for putting a smile on my face today. It was very entertaining to read.

    Reply
  10. Okay so maybe he can’t get buff but he can get toned. Ditch the rags Danny! At least look the part!

    Reply
  11. Mel Ham

     /  March 11, 2012

    Bring it Pro 90 X’er…you have advanced past the cans of soup..get those dumbbells…Bring it to the beach this summer I’ll try it…I can always default back to my firm with Fanny lifter and sculpting stick. When you are trying to raise a family and run children sometimes the only choice you have for exercise is doing it on your own at home..it’s that or nothing.Nothing isn’t an option. I have heard it is a butt kicking workout…great luck. love mel

    Reply

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