Posted by Danny
Stephanie came home last week after sitting through a presentation about reproduction at school.
Dad: “How was your field trip today to the Poe Center Stephanie?”
Stephanie: “OMG. It was awful. They asked for volunteers to stand up and read from this book and the boys and girls were in the auditorium together. It was so embarrassing to talk about penises and vaginas with the boys in the room.”
Jesse: “What’s a vagina?”
Stephanie: “You know what that is – it’s the girl’s private part.”
Jesse: “Oh. I thought that was your hoo-ha.”
Thank God he isn’t a doctor. I can see it now: “So, you’re experiencing some stinging in your vajayjay? Let me take a look.” Or, “It looks like a case of WD – Wee-wee dysfunction. I got a little blue pill that will take care of that.“
We gave DJ “The Book” the summer after fifth grade. I was eager to lead her through a thorough discussion. As she read, I hovered, “Got any questions? Understand that drawing?”
She was mortified.
And Lisa? Cool as a cucumber.
“Leave this to me you goober. You’re going to scar her for life. Give her some space. “
Stephanie isn’t so lucky. I had some immediate follow-up after dinner –
I remember Calista McGougan from my high school – Movin’ McGougan we called her. She had a big personality and a couple of other big things too.
She was the first girl I asked to “go with me” – it was 8th grade. She gave me my first real kiss in the woods behind her house, her little brother and sister watching from behind an oak tree. She clearly knew what she was doing, and I appreciated her tutelage. We grew apart in high school – but apparently she grew closer to a number of other guys.
I’m hopeful that full disclosure, honesty and a father who works hard to help them understand how great they are will keep my girls from seeking acceptance in the wrong places. And if that doesn’t work, there’s always Jesse to guide the way.