My life – it isn’t what I thought it was going to be. No, this wasn’t how it going to turn out.
I was going to get married, have children, be wealthy and own a beach house. My kids would be beautiful and always respectful. They’d be popular enough, make good grades. I’d have a ton of grandchildren. They’d call me something off the wall like “Hammer” or “Jayshon.”
I chose a younger wife. She was to die after me.
But she didn’t. And I don’t have a beach house.
I think a lot of people envisioned something different.
Who would expect their cute little toddler to turn to drugs as a teen? Who’d have thought that the man they loved so much would cheat on her? Lose a job? Not me.
Some never got married, probably not the plan at age 22. Others couldn’t have kids. A few lost a child or their spouse at an early age. Deep depression and anxiety set in for a couple of my friends, and several have fought significant battles with physical illness.
What do you do with that? What do you do with a life that didn’t meet expectations?
A friend of mine, who has been through the ringer, recently told me that she can’t wait for her future. She said, “God has something incredible planned for me. I can’t wait to see what it is!” There was true excitement in her voice.
She told me the same was true for me.
It’s easy for to feel like you’ve reach the mountaintop – that the best is over. But I’m not sure about that.
There come points in life where you have to reinvent yourself. Maybe it’s when your kids go to college. Maybe it’s when your wife dies.
When that time comes, it’s about having the courage to step out of your comfort zone. Some get that courage from their faith in God. Others feel an internal drive. Some never do step. They decide that it won’t get better – that the best is behind them.
I can’t let that happen. I do think God has some great things in store for me and some even greater things for my kids.
I may not climb the exact same mountain, but I think I can find one with an equally beautiful view. That’s why I started writing. That’s why I tried out for “A Christmas Carol” last year. That’s why I’m going to the 10th grade parent dessert social on Saturday even though I’m probably not going to know a soul.
It’s all uncomfortable. It’s also all necessary for the ascent.
I”m not sure what the next mountaintop will look like. But it’s got to look better than the valley.