It’s My Fault

It’s all my fault.  Yep.  According to my kids, it’s all my fault. 

DJ got into the car today.  Her hands were full: book bag, books and a satchel with her workout clothes.  I’d been waiting in front of school for 10 or 12 minutes and was reading through my daily mail.  When the door opened, I didn’t respond appropriately.

Apparently I should have immediately tossed down my mail and run to the opposite side of the car to help her get in.  What was I thinking?  Just inconsiderate.

The demon possessed person that I am has the audacity to require the two kids in the house who take piano lessons to practice.  How in the world can that be more important than the Disney Channel?  After four years of lessons and $6,000 I should just settle for Chop Sticks and Heart and Soul.  I am so very thoughtless.

Out of milk?  “Daaaaaad!”

Irrelevant that Jesse dropped by and drank two glasses at 10 pm.  Why didn’t I run to the 24 hour grocery store?  Clearly it was open…

I should be investigated by Social Services.

Wear a baseball cap to their school on a morning I don’t have to work?  Emmmbarrrasssing!  I’m such a dork.

“Are you about to go to bed?” I innocently inquire.

Picture the tone – “No!!!  I HAVE MORE HOMEWORK.”

My fault too.  Because apparently I am in cahoots with the History, Math and AP Biology teachers – paying them under the table for more difficult assignments for my child.

Oh, and by the way, all three girls say I favor the others.  “She gets everything!” 

“It’s because I love her more.”

I’m a bad, bad man.

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10 Comments

  1. Mom

     /  September 12, 2012

    Sounds perfectly normal to me.. Most parents don’t get it right until they become grandparents. It takes that much experience to figure out how to get SOMETHING right. You’ve got a while to go. Hang in there! Mom

    Reply
  2. Aunt Susan

     /  September 12, 2012

    Oh I am so calling social services just as soon as I get off the floor laughing. What took them so long????? Next time lock the doors and don’t unlock them in the pouring rain!,that happened to me!
    and do keep up showing the favortism!
    love ya! mean it!

    Reply
  3. Sue

     /  September 12, 2012

    Forwarding what you have written to my 9th grade daughter…a STS graduate. (Always better to hear this type of thing from someone other than your own parent.) I was afraid you had been eavesdropping at our house!

    Reply
  4. GodCountryGolf

     /  September 13, 2012

    Oooh…piano lessons! We’re there, too. My daughter is trying to teach me the “two-handed” part of Heart and Soul…I need to stick to the “one-handed” part. Clearly, she didn’t get her musical talents from me. 🙂 Hang in there. To those girls, I’m sure you still hang the stars and the moon!

    Reply
  5. i have to little boys the oldest once called child serrvices because i put him in time out. reading this reminded me of how tuff me and my sister where on my parents so for next hour i think i will look at what my boys do as just being a child. only for an hour as cant handel more then that.

    Reply
  6. CHall

     /  September 16, 2012

    OK, call me clueless…but what’s wrong with wearing a baseball cap to the kids’ school? It’s just not the done thing these days? just curious….

    Reply
  7. chall
    apprently according to my six year old its just not cool to wear base ball caps when your old which i turned to him and said im not old im 30.
    he said thats not old thats anchent mummy you went to school with jeuses mummy. so chall oldies that went to school with jeuse should not wear base ball caps.

    Reply
  8. Leigh Ann

     /  September 16, 2012

    ahhhhh, I’m so glad it’s not just at my house. Of course, here we are meeaaannn!

    Reply

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