Sunday Post 95: The Joy Killers

Last week stunk like a rotten egg.

I got a stomach bug on Wednesday night.  It wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t work, but I just didn’t feel good.  It is not fun sitting in a board meeting with a grumbling belly.  Ya sort of cough under your breath in the hopes that the people at the table don’t hear the gastric rumblings.

I woke up on Thursday dragging my butt out the door and couldn’t find my wallet.  I tore up the house.  I had my mother and mother-in-law help.  For some reason, women can typically find stuff that men just can’t – but not this time.

I offered my kids twenty bucks if they could find it.  Nada.

My buddy from work dug under the seats of my car because I had “clearly just overlooked it.”

I backtracked my steps to the restaurant where I last remembered using my VISA card.  I even looked in the refrigerator, because for me it would not be inconceivable that I set it beside the leftover Moo Goo Gai Pan.

I’ve been waiting for my new credit card for a week – been walking around with hundreds of dollars in my pocket, withdrawn from the bank with a bit of charm and an expired passport.

I can’t order my kids’ school lunches – even that takes an online credit card payment these days.  PB and J baby, paid for with cash!

Then Sunday, after driving to my parent’s house to celebrate my sweet father’s 75th birthday, my car door was demolished – by my sweet 75-year-old father.  He was backing out of the driveway on his way to church.

“Did you notice I bumped your car?” he questioned when I arrived in our pew.

“Yea.  The dangling side mirror gave it away.”

Unfortunately I cannot yet demand his license be stripped – because I need him to haul my kids around Raleigh four days each month.  Buckle up sweeties!

I think it was before the car dent that I thought to myself:  God, you really don’t like me do you?  First you take my wife, next it’s a missing wallet and the Norovirus.  Can’t you mess with Phyllis?  She hasn’t had one problem since I’ve known her.

My friend’s wife calls life’s little annoyances Joy KillersThey take a perfectly normal person and temporarily, if you’re lucky, dismantle your happiness.  In my eyes, I had become Job – well, minus the body boils, the loss of my house, my cattle and all of my heirs.

You’d think that someone who has dealt with such significant loss and pain wouldn’t let the smaller things in life get the best of him.  Nah, it’s been two and a half years, I’m back to self-pity for life’s minor infractions.

When Lisa was sick, a friend once told me that she couldn’t get rid of head lice in her house.  Every time she’d think they were gone, one of her children would show up with another nit.  It was exasperating and exhausting.  She said the way she got through it was to think, Lisa Tanner has life threatening cancer, suck it up!  This is head lice!

God’s not messing with me.  I just need to wash my hands a little better and park further back in the driveway.  I’m a little ashamed that I temporarily lost sight of what I’ve been through.  I’d gladly lose my wallet every single day of my life if it would mean that I could get Lisa back.  It’s time for me to neutralize my Joy Killers and save the self-pity for something a bit more deserving than an unscheduled trip to the DMV.

Leave a comment


  1. CHall

     /  October 28, 2012

    I know what you’re talking about with these “minor” inconveniences. And when it rains, it pours—right? My e-mail has been compromised/lost this week leading me to use some very bad language. Still, in the big scheme of things it isn’t much. Like your friend, I too compare my plight to the much more serious situations of others…which leads me to feel like a jerk for all my ranting and raving. Here’s to a great week coming up for you and the young Tanners.

  2. Aunt Susan

     /  October 28, 2012

    Happy Birthday to your dad! You still have him, and you have all of our love too,.

  3. Mel Ham

     /  October 28, 2012

    now you have a chance to do a glamour shot for your license…get to plucking and get a good nights sleep…turn it around now you have a chance to take a great DMV picture….so do you need a new wallet for christmas. You’ll find that wallet after all of your stuff is updated too that’s the irony of life…”it’s like 10000 spoons when all you need is a knife..”

    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 28, 2012

      I’ll never find the wallet that I want – have looked all over. I’m extremely picky!

  4. Mom

     /  October 29, 2012

    Glad you could make something funny about “that week”. As if you didn’t have enough to keep you busy, your Dad thought he would do his part to keep your schedule as packed as possible. Wouldn’t want you to have a minute of time in your life. Somebodys got to help keep that schedule full and we will help the girls do it any time it seems to slow down at your house. Just let us know when you have a minute and we will fill it. After all, that’s what you’ve got us for. We DO love you, don’t we? And by the way, we already knew that you were picky. But when it comes to your wallet, so is your Dad. You got that honest. We spend our lives looking for wallets, knowing that the one he is carrying will wear out and that finding what he likes is almost impossible. In fact, we never find one until the one he has is threadbare. It’s a lifetime occupation but you don’t get paid a cent for that job.

  5. momtravels

     /  October 29, 2012

    I can relate to sometimes feeling like God doesn’t like you. I have also thought, “God, you took my husband; wasn’t that enough? Doesn’t that somehow make me exempt from future trials? Why am I still being picked on?” But seriously, I know that God likes me. 🙂
    And I remind myself of all that we’ve gone through as a family over the past two years, and then the minor trials aren’t nearly so overwhelming any more. Thanks for sharing this post, and letting me know I’m not the only one. 🙂

  6. 3rd week friend

     /  November 6, 2012

    beware of identity thieves. put an alert on your credit reports. it’s free.


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