Happiness just used to be. It was constant, almost never-changing.
Now it’s not like that. Happiness is more tentative.
I guess it’s like having a permanent job versus being a temp employee. With a full-time regular position, you have security. You have benefits. You know you’ll get that paycheck every two weeks.
As a temp, the minute the staffer returns from maternity leave, you’re out. There is no retirement plan. There isn’t any short of long-term disability insurance. If you have a catastrophic event, you’re on your own.
Losing someone you love is sort of like that. The stupid happiness is gone. Yeah, it’s possible to laugh and enjoy life, but it’s never ongoing. Once a day or once a week or a couple of times each month, something comes to mind that drags those feelings of unease right back up. And the long-term future you’d planned – weekends out-of-town when the kids grow up, an early retirement, places we wanted to visit, all are gone.
I wish I’d have known when I was going through the endless years of bliss that I was going through the endless years of bliss. When they’re gone, happiness becomes less easy and more work. And yet, I guess I appreciate it more when it’s here.
Perhaps there is value in both.
The Real Fuller House 
76sanfermo
/ May 19, 2013So true , David.
Your post is so wise , so real , it teaches a lot about life!
Thank you , dear friend,hope your consciousness may help you in your everyday routine as well as in your long- term planning…..
Danny Tanner
/ May 19, 2013thank you
Donna Hendrix
/ July 20, 2013So true. I lost my husband 5 years ago. I wish I too had known that the I was going through the endless years of bliss. I miss him so much it is still nauseating to this day.
Danny Tanner
/ July 21, 2013It sort of comes and goes for me. Seems like yearly transitions, like school year to summer hit me the hardest. Five years seems like a long time – but I guess in ways it simply isn’t.