Sit and Wait to Die

vanity-fair_picture

Once each beach trip, we make the dreaded trip to the Tanger Outlet Mall at Myrtle Beach.  Each family takes their own car because we never all want to return to the beach house at the same time.

As I was riding back to our beach house, my mom called.

“Hey honey.  There is a store here called Vanity Fair  They have all kids of clothes at good prices.  Especially underwear.   Training bras and stuff.”

“Mom, I don’t like that term.”

“What term?”

“Training bra.  You don’t train them.  You just put them in and they sit.”

You train a dog.  Maybe a show horse.  But I don’t think you train boobs.  They’re more Goldfish than Labrador Retriever.

You just put a fish in the tank.  There he sits, just waiting to die.  You don’t tell him to roll over.  There’s no “go fetch.”  The bosom is the same way.  No special tricks.  I guess it sleeps but that’s 95% brain and only 5% body part.

Why would they call it a training bra?  There’s no training jock strap.  It’s just a jock strap, size small.  Why do we put our daughters through this agony?  Now they think they’re supposed to do something miraculous.  They are not.  They just sit and wait to die.

 

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7 Comments

  1. 🙂 I’ve never thought about that, but I *think* the dumb term “training bra” is meant to help young girls adapt/learn/adjust to wearing a bra! How have your girls responded to you buying underwear for them, just wondering. Does a female in the family take them or are you and the girls totally comfortable going with you? I would have been HORRIFIED to do that with my dad… actually, I was horrified to do it with my mom!! 😛

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 26, 2013

      I typically do the bra shopping with them – although, my oldest knows what to get so I just sort of stand in the store “browsing” while she does the shopping!

      Reply
  2. Mom

     /  June 26, 2013

    The biggest job we’ve had with Bruce is to convince him that you need more than one bra. He thinks they’re like winter coats. As long as you have one, you’re ok. Try teaching a guy about bras. It’s a loosing battle because they don’t have the right equipment to get the picture.

    Reply
  3. Snickers

     /  June 26, 2013

    Actually, they do perform miraculously…they will nurse babies one day! You are the BEST dad!

    Reply
  4. ROFLOL

    Reply
  5. That is a dumb term. I guess they thought about other ways to name it: a first bra would have sufficed but it lacks the idea of it being, well a training bra. They could have named it the bra you wear to get used to idea of wearing a bra.
    They also sell training underpants.
    I love your blog. I haven’t had the chance to read other posts than the ones I get in my mailbox (one toddler and a 5 month-old) but I’m always impatient to read what you are going to write next.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 26, 2013

      Glad you’re reading – and let’s do something about this term!

      Reply

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