Sunday Post 152: Too Soon?

Last Sunday DJ announced that Stephanie was my favorite child, “You clearly love her more.” She didn’t seem that upset, she was just sharing fact – or at least her perception at that place and time.

Michelle was appalled. She clearly thought I loved her the most.

Stephanie just cheesed, happy as a lark.

I dispute DJ’s claims. My heart is huge. When I think there can’t possibly be room for anymore love, sometimes I just make more.

Not too long ago a friend of mine got married. His wife passed away like Lisa.

Some have criticized him. Said he tied the knot way too soon. I’m guessing those who are critical have never sat at home on a Saturday night alone. I bet they didn’t get left out of the dinner party because it was a couples thing. They probably had someone to sit with on Sunday morning at church; someone to go out to lunch with after the service.

I’ve waited four years and am nowhere near married again. But I surely wouldn’t criticize someone who happened to find someone who they loved and who could help fill those voids.

It’s easy to question other’s actions when you haven’t walked in their shoes. Finding new love isn’t necessarily a sign that one has forgotten or fully moved on. It might even be a sign that their first marriage was really very good!

I have a big heart – plenty of room to love. My friend did too.

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14 Comments

  1. Elena

     /  January 12, 2014

    Love is to be shared and celebrated. When you lose a great love you are shattered, as you have been, but that should NOT mean that you died. I say, choose life and find another love. Like all finger prints are unique, so is each love. You are doomed to fail if you compare the love you had for Lisa to any new love. That would be unfair to EVERYONE , including you. You are alive and should behave accordingly!! Look for love, you are a special guy, any woman would be blessed to have a strong man like you!

    Reply
  2. People that are going to judge you will judge you if it were 5 years, 15 years, or a lifetime after her passing. They will find something to say about you no matter how big or small but, you just can’t let people like that shape your life. God will place someone in all of your lives at the right moment. He knows what is best and for that nobody should judge.

    Reply
  3. Aww, I love this post, and your attitude. Some people don’t understand a person’s capacity to love. Showering one person with love does NOT take from someone else’s pot; every special person in your life has their own reserve and there is always enough to go around.

    Reply
  4. My parents loved my sister more when we were little. That’s a fact that everyone except them know… and of course, eventually that changed and balanced out, but my sister and I still giggle that mom and dad just didn’t see it at all when we were growing up and it was very clear to me and my sister. 🙂
    Life is meant to be lived, and we all have different paths to take. I don’t think there is a right or wrong – more importantly, I’m glad that you have such a full heart and aren’t judging your friend, but standing up and supporting him!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 12, 2014

      Don’t you think most kids think they are either the favorite or perceive that their sibling is? It can never be equal in their eyes.

      Reply
      • I completely agree! As a kid, I don’t think we can fully understand that the love is never ending, and the perception is that one has to be greater than the other.
        Have a great day!

  5. Steve Montgomery

     /  January 12, 2014

    Right on brother! Right there with you.

    Steve

    Reply
  6. Very true. The man lives with one half of his soul until he finds his other better half. Marriage makes him complete. Judgmental people never traveled in the paths of those who are being judged.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 13, 2014

      I’ve learned that through my experiences. Go through something tough and you tend to judge a little bit less.

      Reply
  7. Susan

     /  January 13, 2014

    Everyone needs to live by their own timetable and put blinders on. Glad to see you proud live by yours!

    Reply

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