Sunday Post 159: Damn Grandma

I had a fairly important meeting on Tuesday morning and had to be at work before 8.  That same day Michelle had an early morning review session for her impending history test.

An early morning meeting for me means the girls have to get to school about 20 minutes early.  Which also means I get them stirring at 6:30 versus the typical 7 AM wake up call.

Stephanie was not happy!

“I’m soooo tired!  Why do we have to go in early today?  This is sooo annoying!”

“Stephanie, I believe it was just last week when you requested to go to school early to DECOARTE YOUR FRIEND’S LOCKER FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!”  (my emphasis was on the stark difference between a critical work meeting and educational review session versus daisy stickers on a girlfriend’s locker door!)

My frustration did not make the matter any better.

On Friday, as Michelle and I were driving to the Y for our 7 PM basketball game, it dawned on me that I had neglected to purchase snacks, which is, mind you, an extremely important part of YMCA basketball.  Not an issue except I am one of the team coaches.

“Michelle, I’m gonna drop you off.  Run inside and tell Coach David I’ll be there ten minutes late.”

As I skidded through the neighborhood that was between me and my Goldfish, a little old lady driving a Buick Lesabre pulled in front of me.  She clearly was not on her way to coach a basketball team.  And in fact, I believe she was getting a two-day start on her drive to Sunday church.  Because at the rate she was going, it would take her that long to drive anywhere in town!

I went ballistic!  Of course, she couldn’t hear me, I was screaming in my car with my windows rolled up.

“DAMN IT GRANDMA!  MOVE IT!  DON’T YOU KNOW I’M A SINGLE FATHER TRYING TO GET TO MY KID’S BASKETBALL GAME?  GET OUT OF MY WAY LADY!!”

When I’m on the road and in a hurry, there is always a really good reason.  When someone else speeds by me, they are a jerk.

My double standard is ludacris.

How can I logically give myself a pass on my inane sense of urgency but be critical of others who are doing the same thing?  How can Stephanie get on me for interrupting her sleep when she did the same to me five days before?

That’s what we do.  We give ourselves a pass for the stuff that we do wrong.  There is a perfectly logical reason.  But when someone else screws up, man are they stupid.

I bet God wishes I wouldn’t yell at little old ladies.

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4 Comments

  1. Mom

     /  March 9, 2014

    I’ll bet God understands why you sit in your car and yell at old ladies. I have some of the same thoughts and I AM an old lady! Just keep it in your car and don’t run over her. I also see some old men who need yelling at and I am just the one to do it if they get in my way. It just might keep you from having a heart attack if you just keep it to a yell. Just don’t let the OLD MEN off easy. They deserve their fair share of fists waving in the air at them too. You drive too much like your mom. Mimic your Dad when it comes to driving. It will keep your blood pressure lower.

    Reply
  2. Aunt Susan

     /  March 9, 2014

    Your Mom is so wise, listen to her.
    Costco is good to get little bags of goldfish in a big box that is easy to carry
    don’t forget dinner at 7 on the 21st. looking forward to it.

    Reply
  3. Cris

     /  March 10, 2014

    I can so relate to screaming at old ladies. I do this all the time to Connecticut drivers between Massachusetts and New Jersey. “Get out of my way! I’m a long distance parent and I haven’t seen my son in a month!”

    I’m sure the old ladies, if they heard you, would be perfectly understanding.

    Reply

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