Headed to Wadi Halfa

Wadi Halfa

I used to think it was nuts that old people moved to Florida for the winter.  Move for the tax relief – I might consider it.  But leave my friends, my life, just because of the weather?  Insane.

But I swear, the older I get the colder I get.

My mom wears a wool sweater, mid day, on the beach in July.  We have never been anywhere that she didn’t remind every family member to bring a sweater.

“Mom, we are going to a hot yoga class!  We don’t need outerwear!”

“You’d better grab a sweater.  They have air conditioning in the lobby.”

The only time I’ve ever seen her hot was in her forties when she was going through “the change.”  We’d come home and she’d be dusting the house in her bra.  My dad said she’d go to sleep in flannels bundled up in a quilt and in the morning she’d be on top of the covers in her skivvies.

I got her cold down pat but none of the warmth.

At work I recently changed offices with the guy next door because he had the thermostat.  It would register warm and cut off.  I had icicles made of snot dangling from my nose.  He was sweating bullets.  But he’s young – just 40.

I used to sleep in boxers only – no shirt, no sheet – winter, spring, summer or fall.  Last night I wore flannel pants and surrounded myself with six pillows to help hold the heat in.  I considered a toboggan but was too cold to get out of bed to fetch one.

If I didn’t have seat warmers in my car, I’d take a taxi to work.  I assume it would already be heated up by the time he got to my house.

My feet could cool the heat rods at the Shearon Harris nuclear plant.

Sometimes I get in the car on a hot summer day and don’t turn the air conditioning on until I simply can’t breathe anymore.  It’s the only time my bones really feel toasty.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  If it is old age, I’m unimpressed.  As I approach 50 my body is changing, rapidly.  I may just skip Florida and head straight to Wadi Halfa, Sudan.  It’s the hottest place on earth – I looked it up.

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12 Comments

  1. Elena Ceberio

     /  March 12, 2014

    Bruce have your thyroid checked. No kidding I have an under active thyroid and constant cold memory loss. My dad passed from complications of Alzheimer’s so the memory thing freaked me out. My GP misdiagnosed it and found an endocrine guy who told me I had hashimoto’s disease. If TSH ( simple blood draw test) is above 4 – investigate. If not, start investing in long johns!!

    Elena 201.314.3506 Green starts here Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  2. Mom

     /  March 12, 2014

    A little more weight on those bones might help. If that doesn’t work, add socks to your flannels and find the toboggan. If all else fails, cut the heat up to 70 degrees. It’s worth the money.

    Reply
  3. LOL! I recently lost some weight and can feel the cold even more… I’m currently trying to decide if being healthy is worth it if I’m always cold! The darn arctic blasts aren’t helping, either!!

    Reply
  4. Frances

     /  March 12, 2014

    Whatever you do, just do NOT give in to trying HOT YOGA!! It is very bad for your heart
    according to my very experienced and very serious yoga instructor. A nice down filled comforter can help!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  March 12, 2014

      I want to take a hot yoga class just so I can write a blog post on it. Sounds so rediculous!

      Reply
      • Frances

         /  March 12, 2014

        Yoga practice is very good for balance, flexibility, and strength but when practiced in a overheated environment (ie hot yoga) you can damaged overheated muscles including heart which is muscle itself. Please be careful.

      • Danny Tanner

         /  March 13, 2014

        I don’t think I’d really go – but who knows?

  5. Aunt Susan

     /  March 12, 2014

    ok, DO GET THE THYROID CHECK, it sounds a lot like that.
    don’t put on the weight, but trust me you would get warmer, believe me I know
    and socks are always good.

    see ya soon.,

    Reply
  6. mel ham

     /  March 16, 2014

    thyroid was my first thought too. Low function has more symptoms than you realize…I have had both overactive, Grave’s disease, and now treatment for underactive thyroid. Low function has dry skin, hair loss, malaise, slow metabolism, always cold, feelings of impending doom, etc. Once treated, if that’s the case, you realize how you adjusted your life to function and feel so much better.

    Reply
  7. Reblogged this on Sudan Hub Group.

    Reply

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