Sunday Post 166: Comfortable

I think one of the biggest challenges in life is becoming comfortable with yourself.

I was talking to a buddy who was really struggling in a relationship.  He was in love and just didn’t think he could go on without this woman who was sending some significant signals that she was through with him.

In our conversation, I asked him what he was going to do – how he was going to move on.

He said, “I guess I’m going to find another woman.”

Although that’s a great idea, I think a larger issue is why he can’t find happiness without someone else.  Why isn’t he happy with him?

I watch people; I watch people a lot.  I find them fascinating.

I love it when I see folks who really seem comfortable in their own skin.  There’s a confidence about them.  They seem to have a strong realization of their strengths and weaknesses.  They aren’t cocky.  They also aren’t concerned with what others think.  They genuinely seem happy.  They get a kick at being with themselves regardless of what’s going on around them.

I went to high school with a girl named Alice.  I’d describe her as popular, but in a very unconventional way.

She hung out with everyone.  She was nice and kind to the dorkiest dorks, I know that first hand.  She’d walk through the halls with them and laugh at their jokes.

At lunch, you might find her sitting with the coolest kids – the ones who dressed the best and who were members of the country club.

At 10-minute break, she might even venture out onto the concourse which was the only place you could smoke on campus.  Hard to believe you could actually smoke on a high school campus in the early 80’s.

Alice might spend a weekend night at home alone watching a movie she’d been dying to see.  And that was her choice.

She was just so stinkin’ cool.

Somehow, she had found herself and at a very young age.

I think I’m really getting there, but it hasn’t always been a simple journey.  There have been times I’ve wished – wished I was more, or different.  Wished I was included or perhaps excluded in a few situations.  I’ve spent time not focused and happy with the here and now but more focused on the what could be.  Too much energy asking “Why didn’t…?”

When you hit that point, the one where you look in the mirror and genuinely like what you see, that’s when, I believe, you’ve made it.

I don’t believe I’ll ever really find that deep down contentment in a new wife, or a job or with money or fame or even through my children.  All of those things can bring me joy, but if I don’t like me, if I don’t trust my instincts, if I can’t find happiness just being, I don’t think I’ll ever get there.  So that’s what I’ll work on.

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11 Comments

  1. Amen brother! Very insightful. Happy Sunday!

    Reply
  2. I completely agree! I see people hop from person to person – from job to job – from activity to activity in a desperate attempt at “finding” happiness; when in reality, we all have to find the happiness INSIDE ourselves first.

    Reply
  3. Carolanne

     /  April 27, 2014

    I thought of her in the same way. She and I weren’t close in high school and I hated that. Her birthday would ‘ve been tomorrow. Saw a beautiful picture of her posted by her sister. Still hard to believe that she’s gone.

    Reply
  4. Mom

     /  April 27, 2014

    It’s interesting that she left her legacy with you two and likely many others…acceptance…and probably never knew it. Alice was just being herself. Her parents were the same. I think I see that quality in Michele. It may be true of all three of the girls but Michele and I have talked about it several times recently.

    Reply
  5. Nice post. Thank you for sharing with us. I think it would be effective for all which people are want to sale their foods. I like this post indeed.
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  6. Kim Strickland

     /  May 1, 2014

    Alice M.? She had the quality. I have spent a week at home alone (empty nest and travels) and can gratefully report laughing outloud, talking to dogs, and going about my business as usual with inner peace. It is what I was grateful for this week. How ironic. I love reading your blog B!

    Reply

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