I Want Full Custody!

Family Circle 052614 0462

Sometimes my little angels, well, aren’t.  The problem is, I seldom know when these sweet little people I am raising are going to turn on me.

Yesterday when I asked, “How was your day?,” I was taken down an elaborate journey through the halls of St. Timothy’s School.  It was beautiful.  I learned about friendships, the lunch menu, assignments and teacher personalities.

Today I asked the same question.  I was cut off at the pass in a very terse tone, “I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Is everything OK?”

“I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!”

What happened?  I thought we were friends.  I thought you were daddy’s girl!

Last week I was asked to help with homework.  We laughed while we worked on the memorization for the history quiz, making up nutty phrases to cue her mind:  “Bangladesh” – “I can’t remember Bangladesh.”  We ran to the kitchen and pull out a plastic plate, slamming it on the counter, “Bang The Dish!  Bangladesh!”

Tonight I walk in, the computer is open, the tears are flowing.

“What’s wrong?  I thought you didn’t have much homework.”

“THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!  AND THEN I DISCOVERED THE FOUR MATH PROBLEMS WE HAD TO DO.  WE’VE NEVER DONE THIS KIND OF PROBLEM BEFORE!  I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!!!”

“Your teacher said as long as you attempted to do the math homework you’d get credit.  Just try.”

“BUT I D-O-N-‘T K-N-O-W   H-O-W  TO DO IT!  YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!  GO AWAY!”

Go away?  I’m just trying to be helpful!

What makes these beautiful little beings, often dressed in pink, transform from Snow White to Jafar?  How is it that the same simple question on Monday can elicit such a polar opposite answer on Tuesday?

Sometimes I feel like I have three sets of twins.  There’s a good one and a ornery one.  They look identical, and yet they pop in and out of my house interchangeably without me knowing.

Is there another family with three girls that might be keeping my children’s twins?  Are you in on this?  Are you gas lighting me?  Stop it!  I want the good twins back – and not just 75% of the time.  I want full custody!

Advertisements
Leave a comment

26 Comments

  1. Mary Anthony

     /  October 1, 2014

    At age 20, they return to the human race. Hang in there!

    Reply
  2. At least with girls you have good days when they will communicate with you? Sharing problems can help–but it means taking off the brave mask. With my sons, the “afterschool report” was rare, even on the good days. I could relate to this post (I couldn’t find a “like” button, but that is probably intentional on your part?).

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 1, 2014

      I do think that you’re right. My friends with boys are clueless about anything. I can fill them in based on my conversations with my kids!

      Reply
  3. AMEN! There are days that the boy living in my house is the most loving and sweet and verbose and funny boy – and then there are days that he’s like a bear woken from hibernation too soon and all I get are grunts and I only see him when he makes trips out to get food!

    Reply
  4. So so true ! Well ,in my case it’s just one pair of twins ! And even that gets too much at times !!!

    Reply
  5. Later, as I was scrolling through my Reader, I saw the Like button for your post–I just couldn’t find it at the end of the post.

    Reply
  6. So funny. I love post in which we can all relate as moms.

    Reply
  7. Hey Bruce – they are female…it is what it is…get over it!!

    Reply
  8. My “twins” seem to appear at set times. Like right after school, the evil twin is always present. They whine a lot.

    Reply
  9. Ah huh, girls! I have one girl ( youngest) and three boys. She is three times more work, confusion and frustration (and love in return), than the three lads combined. When it’s good it’s great but when it’s bad…

    Reply
  10. Well, I am one such “angel” to my parents and after 26 years of survival, all I can say is, I thank my parents (mush like how your angels will too) for letting me release that psycho streak in me, for letting me be so comfy in that environment you set for us, for putting up with that mental twin that today I know what it’s like to be normal 🙂

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 4, 2014

      Did you recover?

      Reply
      • Can’t believe I just saw this, but to answer your question, may be I hadn’t recovered then, but it’s over a year later and NOW, I’ve recovered. For sure. Took my time. But, “us angels” have that liberty 😉 (Thank the patient parents though)

  11. No sage advice here. I have boys. They’re allegedly grown men, but when the phone rings I usually have to brace myself for the crisis. Why don’t they call me when everything is good?

    Reply
  12. Aunt Susan

     /  October 2, 2014

    oh I cannot wait to see what your parents have to say about you!

    Reply
  13. Great post! Mine is only a year and a half old so I have a long way to go!

    Reply
  14. This post is awesome!! I grew up with four sisters and I think my mother can definitely attest to this! In our case, the teenage years can be a little more emotional. This is the time in my life when I learned how to master my emotions day by day, but I surely had days like this, too. The important thing is that your daughters do come to you when they’re in a good mood; it’s better to have the good and bad rather than none at all! You sound like an awesome dad! 🙂

    Reply
  15. Great story! I enjoy reading the blog.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s