Sunday Post 190: Haters

A couple of weeks ago a fellow blogger left me a comment.  She wrote, “Your writing is tired.  I used to enjoy reading your stuff but not anymore.  You should stop writing.”

OUCH!  That one hurt.

I mean, she didn’t disagree with my take on things, she didn’t tell me she hated a particular post, she told me to stop writing.

Her comment made me think a bit about how I share criticism.  I know I am pretty outspoken and share my opinions freely, but I also think I’m pretty good at making sure I give feedback that’s constructive rather than just smashing folks.

I kept my niece and nephew for the day recently.  She is three, he is five.  They’re great kids!  He is, however, the loudest person I’ve ever met.  If there is an item in the house that might possibly resemble a drum in any way, shape or form, he will beat it.  Like, he’ll be the mess out of it.

His sister, my god-daughter, is a cute, sweet little one.  She’ll look at you with those beautiful big eyes, give you a huge hug, and then go hit her brother in the head with a stainless steel bowl.

It was then that I sort of lost my temper, cause she’d done it before just a few minutes earlier.  I do love kids.  I also love them to do what I tell them to do.  When she didn’t, she got the raised voice and a little time out.

When her five minutes were over, I pulled her into my lap and I said, “You know, I LOVE YOU!  But I don’t like it when you hit your brother.  It hurts him, you can’t do that.”  We hugged and headed to the den to play a sweet game of Monkey’s In A Barrel.

As I was talking with Kinsey after her infraction, two of my kids yelled down from upstairs, “Dad – we’ve heard that before!  You always told us you loved us after you yelled at us for doing something wrong.”

It’s not that I think you should hold back from expressing frustration or dolling out criticism.  But I work to make sure the person I’m criticising knows it’s their specific action that is causing me strife, not their whole self.

That being said, perhaps my fellow blogger was not saying she didn’t like me.  Perhaps she was just telling me my entire repertoire of writing is lacking.  That it’s only my writing that stinks.

If I the goal of my blog was to please her, I’d quit.  But it’s not.  I just enjoy writing – it’s a hobby like knitting.  I’m sure not all sweaters turn out perfect.

And by the way lady, it’s free.  You no likie?  Read something else.
Purchase Danny’s Book Laughter, Tears and Braids: Amazon or Quail Ridge Books in Raleigh

If you have read the book and are willing to write a short review, it would be helpful:Click here. And thanks!

 

Advertisements
Leave a comment

36 Comments

  1. If writing is what u like please continue I follow ur blog and haven’t got bored period… HATERS will be HATERS…just continue doing you 🙂

    Reply
  2. Mel Ham

     /  October 19, 2014

    i didn’t know that child care opportunities were being offered by a raleigh uncle. I got a 15 year old that needs some sitting. let me know when i can bring him…he has been broken from hitting others in the head with bowls but i need some stealing I phone chargers and using things that aren’t his remediation. I can bring him to you ….no need to worry about transportation.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 19, 2014

      He can come when I have the other two – he’ll be a big help!

      Reply
      • mel ham

         /  October 20, 2014

        hadn’t thought about that lesson…but that might be a good one too!

  3. Greg

     /  October 19, 2014

    Pure poetry. Me likey.

    Reply
  4. I like your writing! some bloggers should just be ignored!

    Reply
  5. My cousin is a fashion blogger. She recently received a comment criticising her and then telling her she has chubby toes. Seriously.

    Reply
  6. I think when people “say” things like this person did it has more to do with them than us. I enjoy your writing. Please don’t stop.

    Reply
  7. You have never failed to make me chuckle, at least once. Don’t stop. Please. I need your humor.

    Reply
  8. There’s a fine line between brave and crazy, and people accidentally cross over all the time.

    Between critique and hate, however, is a giant chasm. It requires a plan and equipment to cross. It is always intentional. How sad that blogger/reader should travel it alone.

    You do you. There’s plenty of company traveling alongside.

    Reply
  9. Aunt Susan

     /  October 19, 2014

    How sad that that writer was unhappy with HER writing and blamed you. You do a great job of sharing and causing me to think.
    Get plastic bowls for Kinsey to use.

    Reply
    • notabowlofcherries

       /  October 19, 2014

      Well said lol

      Reply
    • Mom

       /  October 19, 2014

      I love your idea about plastic bowls! You are always so delightful with your comments and so creative in your solutions to problematic circumstances. Love hearing from you even if it is just on the blog.

      Reply
  10. When people are mean, and her comment was mean and unjustified, it has more to do with them and nothing to do with you. I look forward to hearing what is going on with your life because you make me laugh. Please don’t stop writing! I don’t expect Hemingway twice a week, but when I get it, and you often give it, my day turns around!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 19, 2014

      I think that its hard for folks to realize that it isn’t going to be a home run blog every time. They come and go – but on occasion, all writers hit the mark!

      Reply
  11. Tales of a Twin Mombie

     /  October 19, 2014

    Wow. How rudeee. Keep doing what you love, and hopefully she will read this post and learn how to criticize with some more grace.

    Reply
  12. Liz

     /  October 19, 2014

    I enjoy your writing and look forward to your blog. Glad to see you’re taking the Taylor Swift approach and shaking it off. Haters gonna hate.

    Reply
  13. You’re awesome and I absolutely love reading your posts! Keep em coming! 🙂

    Reply
  14. Carolanne

     /  October 20, 2014

    Absolutely! You tell her! You aren’t forcing anyone to read what you write. She should go and bash someone who cares. I love you, but I’m biased.

    Reply
  15. April Poole

     /  October 20, 2014

    Do Not Stop – your blog is great!

    Reply
  16. I’m always amazed at how rude people can be behind their computer! Not that it matters, but I’ve always enjoyed your writing and the stories you share! 🙂

    Reply
  17. Don’t stop writing!

    Reply
  18. Please, please do not stop writing! I look forward to reading your posts.

    Reply
  19. obviously something is up with her. I think you are a scream and a God send to me. I reference you often. (awkward I know). let’s mark it up to something is up with her and walk away. but proud. You are doing awesome. Did you say you are babysitting?

    Reply
  20. Everyone has an opinion. We have to write first for ourselves I think.

    Reply
  21. Love your blog, fun to read..You have an interesting take on life, and I look forward to reading more~

    Reply
  22. The photo at the top and your blog title alone are amazing. I only just discovered your blog, and I love that you’ve decided to write about your obviously awesome family. Some people are just plain rude and should be ignored. That commenter’s Uncle Jesse would be ashamed, and I’m sure even little Michelle could teach her a lesson or two about manners.

    Reply
  23. I love reading your stories. Especially that you find a bright side to everything. You have a gift and I don’t think you should stop. Keep going!!

    Reply
  24. People should use the kindergarten rule: You got nothing constructive to say? Zip it. Geez, how hard is it to NOT write something mean.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s