One More Thing I’m Bad At

I sort of thought I was beyond the point where I was going to find things I was bad at as a “mom.”  I mean, it is clear that fashion for teenage females is not a strength.  Navigating and understanding the girls’ friendships is also a struggle for me.  The list of things that my wife could do better with raising daughters would be about the same length as the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Unfortunately, last week, we discovered another.

Two months ago I received an email informing me that I needed to send five photos to be included in the end of year slide show for the mother/daughter charity league that DJ has been a member of since she was in 7th grade.  Aunt Sallie has been the stand in mom for the past few years.

The deadline for submitting the photos was January 5.  So, on January 4th I began digging through Shutterfly and Facebook to find pics that I felt would be appropriate representations of DJ’s life and interests.

This was my thinking:

Pic #1:  Lisa and DJ, for it is a mother/daughter club and they did start it together.

Bailey Ham 3

Pic #2:  DJ and Aunt Sallie, for Sallie is her stand in mom for the National Charity League.

Bailey Ham 4

Pic #3:  DJ and me, for I have received the 29,652 emails about this club for the past five years and I deserve some credit.  I know this one is a bit unconventional, but I felt it captured our relationship fairly well.


Pic #4:  DJ sailing at Camp Seafarer – sailing is cool; she loves camp; lots of girls in NCL go to camp.

Bailey sailing 2

Pic #5:  DJ, in full costume at our annual performance of A Christmas Carol – which has been a huge part of our lives for the past four years.


While I was at it, I ordered some photos for my photo album.

When they arrived, I proudly displayed them on the coffee table.  Smart dad!  Ordered photos so all can remember their childhood!  What a Lisa thing to do.

I was quite dismayed when my daughters began informing me how much they hated some of the pictures I had ordered.

“Oooo.  That is a horrible photo of me.  You ARE NOT framing that one!”

“But I LOVE that picture.  You look so cute.”

DJ nearly had a stroke when she saw the photo from A Christmas Carol in her Chimney Sweep getup.

“Dad, where did this come from?  It’s terrible.”

“Well I like it.  In fact, it is one of the photos I sent in for the NCL slide show.  It is one of my favorites.”


I’m sure parents of teenaged girls can imagine the next ten minutes in our house.  I was berated.  The pic was forwarded to friends who confirmed that I was an idiot and inept at choosing senior slide show pictures.  I was informed that DJ was taking over the next deadline, the yearbook ad, which also called for photograph selection and the crafting of a public message.

She then discovered that I had sent the sailing pic which was apparently a selfie.  I had no idea that you were not to send selfies in for senior slide shows.  I looked back at the original email, and that was not outlined as a guideline for photo selection.

She went as far as to text the Christmas Carol picture to one of her stand in moms with this message:

Dad sent this picture in for a senior slide show.  This is why I need a mother!

Had there been a fifty year old woman at the house that night, I believe she would have made me get married on the spot simply to insure there would be someone else to help guide me through the next four months.

I will say that one of her sweet friends told her that although she totally agreed with DJ about the picture, she could sort of see why a father might think it was a sweet picture of his daughter.

Go Kimmy!

I also informed DJ that the difference between her mother and me was that I would send in new slides and ask to delete the ones she did not like.  Had Lisa incorrectly chosen, she would have told DJ to suck it up and go to her room.

I wish I had more chutzpah.

PS: DJ did give me permission to put these photos on my blog because “only old people read it.”

Purchase Danny’s Book Laughter, Tears and Braids: Amazon or Quail Ridge Books in Raleigh

Leave a comment


  1. KittyLuvr

     /  January 21, 2015

    Bad news, dad! My daughter is 26 and still gives me grief over the pics I sent in for her senior ad in the yearbook….sigh…..

  2. Well she actually said…. GET ME A MOTHER NOW! That girl makes me laugh so hard.

  3. I can remember trying to select my own photos for high school yearbook…..sometimes we girls completely over-think these kind of things. Someday you will probably both get a laugh out of this! 🙂

  4. SpunkyMonkey312

     /  January 21, 2015

    Don’t berate yourself over it. She reminds me of my younger daughter. As I used to have to tell her, in the whole scheme of life, this is just a dot, so get over it. Your mom has great advice. Just smile and keep going! For the record–for any other occasion like this, I would work on them together. Enjoy some memories as you select which ones to choose. 🙂

  5. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry! I want to be sympathetic, as I know that experience had to be traumatic for you, as well, and I want to be supportive because really, all parents go through this, married, single, widowed, etc. But really, all I can do is laugh. All I can do is chuckle and wipe my eye because it is so very true to life that there are no words!

  6. It’s apparently not just a daddy:daughter thing. I went through this exact same thing last week with my 18 year old son. I had posted awesome dance photos on my Facebook, one of our mutual friends commented on them to him. He flipped out! I removed them and gave my word never to post a pic without specifically asking his permission. He had more photos made, I asked permission to post some, he told me which photo folder I could choose from to use. I posted one. I mentioned it and he again flipped! Apparently he thought I was referring to my blog, which like your daughter, he doesn’t care about the people that read it seeing his photos. I think it must just be a teenager thing.

    • The second instance he even accused me of wording it in such a way to manipulate him to give permission by making it sound like I wanted it for my blog. I did end up using it for my most recent post after the dust settled.

  7. Aunt Susan

     /  January 21, 2015

    Well I like the Chimney sweep pix, and I do think it shows her fun side. But when I was her age I would have agreed with her. Get over it, you, you have two more to do it with!
    You are not and will never be Lisa, but any mistakes you make she would have made the same amount. It’s called life, and you have done a A++ job with those kids.

    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 21, 2015

      I don’t sweat it too bad – I just continue to be surprised by things they find that are not up to par!

  8. WHAT? I AM 40. I AM NOT OLD. i liked the selection. which ones would she have chosen? As a female, I guess I do want to pick the pics of me displayed I get it. one day she will get it. great story. I’M NOT OLD. i even got carded today.

  9. She will love telling this story to her own children, whom she will embarrass just as badly as you embarrass her. She will look back with fondness!

    • Danny Tanner

       /  January 28, 2015

      I have a friend who lost her mom at 10, and she remembers her dad taking her bra shopping. Still tells the story, and she is sixty years old.

  10. nice site

  11. My daughter is 34 years old. I don’t post pictures of her on Facebook any more, because I can’t count the number of times I heard, “Mom, will you PLEASE delete the photo of me you put on Facebook? It’s horrible!” She’s way to critical of herself and didn’t like the photo for one reason or another. I look at her and see nothing but a beautiful, incredible, accomplished young woman. I’d rather take photos for my own memories than to post on Facebook, anyway, so that’s what I am now doing.


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