I remember the day I arrived at my first apartment in college. I dropped out of school my freshman year so when I transferred to NC State University the following fall, I was relegated to an off campus apartment. I sort of knew one of my roommates from church. The other two were total strangers.
We were The Island of Misfit Toys. Van, we called him Banessa, was, at the time, an obnoxious slob. He smoked without ceasing and left his crap out everywhere. He was famous for drinking half a cup of soda. The other half he left – I guess until our mothers came at the end of the year to clean the place out.
My mom found leftover tuna salad. She discovered it in early May. I think someone made it in early October.
One day I came home and Banessa’s size 14, white, boat shoes were in the hallway by the front door. My hands were full, I think I’d gone to buy more tuna, and I stumbled over the monstrosities. We lived on the second floor of a pink triplex. I put down my groceries, opened the back sliding glass door, and tossed his inordinately large Sperry Topsiders off the deck. Unfortunately, Banessa was four inches taller and weighed about 50 pounds more than I. When he came downstairs and discovered his shoes were missing, he was quite angry. He heaved me up on his shoulder and threatened to toss me off our balcony as I had his shoes. I carried enough clout in the house that he eventually put me down. I think he knew if he killed me, the other two dudes would kick his butt.
We affectionately nicknamed the guy I knew from back home “Zenith.” He was an avid watcher of TV, and our set was a Zenith console. He was on our den couch day and night, remote in hand. He was even hooked on soaps; The Young and the Restless was his favorite.
Our fourth partner, Scott, became one of my best friends. He was an athlete who taught me how to lift weights. I owe my monstrous physique to him.
Our sophomore year, Scott and I took photos of ourselves and tapped them on a handmade calendars. We entitled our creation The Stately Studs and handed copies out to the women who lived in the apartments surrounding us. Only one dared to date me. She was a vet student and an animal lover. When I discovered that she’d rather spend her Saturdays with a horse than with me, I called it off – and took my calendar back.
Last week, DJ just received her roommate assignments for GW. We call them froomies (future roomies).
There will be four girls sharing an 8’ x 8’ room. They are three blocks from the White House in downtown DC. I’m hoping she can hook up with Sasha and Malia if she’s unhappy. They seem so accepting and well balanced. I’d love for them to become friends.
From our Facebook investigations, our new froomies appear to be fairly normal – well two do. The other one, Vaughn, we can’t find on social media – a clear indicator of either buck wild or home schooler.
Last week we were with one of DJ’s friends and she pulled up her froomie’s Facebook page. This lovely young lady from New Jersey had a video on her homepage. She was twerking in front of a Dick’s sporting goods store, and I don’t think her choice of location was a coincidence.
I hope DJ’s froomies don’t find this blog. It could petrify their parents.