The Joy in Old

When I was a teenager, my dad definitely did things that did not seem very cool to me.  It’s interesting that the black socks he wore with his tennis shoes and shorts were humiliating at the time.  Today, add a Nike Swoosh on the side, and what embarrassed me at 16, is exactly what a studly 16-year-old of today has on.

And what’s up with the handkerchief?  You keep it in your back pocket, blow an inordinate amount of snot into it and then, and then, you stick it BACK INTO YOUR POCKET!  YUCK!

Mmm.  Going to a bathroom to find a tissue is a lot of work.  I think I’ll just grab a small towel and put it in my pocket and fill it full of boogers to my heart’s content.  What a great time saver! 

Who does that (besides my dad)?

I’m not sure at what age he simply didn’t care anymore.  At some point, comfort became more important than style.  The black tennis shoes he wears today for almost any occasion is proof of that.  So help me, I will limp with excruciating pain before I wear a support shoe in public.

But at 77, he just doesn’t give a crap.  He ain’t working to impress anyone.

As I headed out to the beach for my daily jog this morning, I grabbed a set of headphones to plug into my iPhone.  I’ve tried EVERYTHING to keep these doohickies in my ears while moving.  I’ve clipped them to my shirt sleeve, run the cord down to my waist, shoved the ear bud into my cerebrum.  And yet, before Beyonce can belt out the first chorus, either left or right ear has shed the device, and I’m more focused on auditory function than physical fitness.

So today, as I pulled up my black socks and laced up my New Balance, I glanced at the counter and ta-da… I found the answer:  Duct tape!

I snagged a couple of small pieces and had Stephanie help me secure.

duct tape

The result?

Doobie Brothers?  No problem.

Earth Wind and Fire?  All good.

Aerosmith?  Golden.

Were my kids embarrassed?  I’d say so.

Did I care?  Not the least.

And not only did the tape hold the headphones into place, when I ripped it off, it was like a good waxing of the hairs growing all over my 50-year-old ears.  Two for the price of one!

There is some joy in growing old.

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12 Comments

  1. I know an IP ATTORNEY who could help you with that invention. ™©®✔️

    Reply
  2. Karen Montgomery

     /  July 1, 2015

    You’ll get a chuckle outta this dad’s blog…

    Reply
  3. ROTFL – hahahhahahhahah
    I was just about to ask how it felt to pull off the duct tape.

    Reply
  4. Haha.

    Reply
  5. I’m out running before the sun comes out, and so I’ve tried various items to make me more visible to cars, as there are a few areas without sidewalks, and I came home with reflective “slap” bracelets. I told Mr. T that they had a reflective jacket (like construction workers wear) but I thought these little bracelets would be fine. And when he asked why I didn’t just get the jacket I stated “Because it would make me look silly” and as soon as those words came out of my mouth my eyes got big and I looked up and he goes “uh huh” and I was like, man, if he ever said that to me I would be all over him that safety comes first and it does’t matter how silly you think you look, etc.
    So, maybe I’ve reached the age where I should be looking silly in public, too!

    Reply
  6. Wayne

     /  July 1, 2015

    I hate to ruin the illusion but I no longer wear black tennis shoes. I found my poor beleaguered feet can stand Rocksport…but then I guess that’s not much better for looks…but at least I don’t have holes in soles like some people I know have in their wing tips!. And those ear buds drive me crazy too. Is there a cool set of headphones I can wear while moving the lawn and at the gym. After all I wouldn’t want to embarrass you with telephone operator ears. Of course, I wouldn’t be any worse than you with duct tape, I guess. -DAD

    Reply
  7. Always have hard time keeping them in just sitting still!

    Reply
  8. Genius!

    Reply
  9. Oh I’ve already been given strict instructions to not sing, talk or hug near my daughter at school pick up. The embarassment has begun!

    Reply
  10. violetheartache

     /  July 2, 2015

    Oh great idea!! Screw embarrassment, I’m all about functionality now!

    Reply
  11. Aunt Susan

     /  July 4, 2015

    So are you going to use Duct tape for all your waxing isssues? And do stop riffiing on your Dad, I seem to remember that he did a pretty mean job of hanging wall paper for you!

    Reply

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