I have had three flat tires this year. THREE. And all have been due to nails or screws. What’s up with this? Did someone working on the hardware aisle of the Home Depot move into my neighborhood?
Last time I tried to change the tire, I couldn’t find the spare. I tore the back of my car up looking for the dang thing and finally, a child of mine took out the car manual and discovered where my Michelin was stored. It was actually hidden under the car like on an airplane or something. When I was a kid, the spare was just rolling around the back of the station wagon with a half can of cheese whiz and some Fiddle Faddle. Not anymore. In my car, you actually have to lower the tire from the bowels of the underneath with a socket. Then it dangles between the hydraulic back disc brakes like one long rubber testicle.
So the last time I changed my tire, I decided it would be the last time that I would change a tire. It’s a lot of work, and I risk getting grease on my bowtie. It’s just not me. That’s why I have Triple A.
When my battery went dead in February, I called them late at night. I met the technician in the driveway. SHE strolled up and hooked her positive on my positive and her negative on my negative and within a few seconds, I was all revved up.
I’ll have to admit, I was a little taken aback that a woman showed up at my house to fix my car while I drank hot cocoa and ironed my dress shirt for the next day. I stood out there with her for a few minutes and after it was apparent she knew what she was doing, I retreated to my warm house scurrying after my children as if being a widower gave me an excuse to have a double xx chromsomer manhandle my alternator.
I was OK with the battery charge, anyone can do that. I have jumper cables in my car and have used them quite often. I just didn’t have another car in the driveway to help share the juice.
But I sort of had a slight panic attack when I realized that a woman might show up to change my tire. How could I stand by while Sheera hoisted my car in the air, stripped off my lug nuts and lifted a 25 pound tire off the chassis?
I told Michelle my fear.
“That’s sexist! Grow up dad! Women can do anything men can do. I’m disappointed in you.”
You’d think a father of three strong females wouldn’t have my concern. I want equal rights for them, the same opportunities as men. Although I’ll have to say I don’t have a dream of them changing tires for a living.
Fortunately for me, a woman did not show that night. It was a man, with a mouth full of chewing tobacco. A good fit for me.
As I worked to get the tire lowered from underneath my car, he glared over at me, “I got this. You ain’t gotta do nothin’.”
I went back inside and did some push ups – a very manly thing to do.