I turned a regular bra into a strapless model. Not intentionally. The stinkin’ straps fell off in the wash. I mean, I went to pull a load of laundry out of the machine and this cantankerous garment had wrapped all around itself and around its peers. I put 25 small articles of clothing in and pulled out one. One large knotted up blob.
As I pulled the pieces apart, I realized that the bra was the culprit. Who knew its strap was 108 inches long? In the end, it had ripped apart and put the strangle hold around the yoga pants and the St. Mary’s t-shirts. Poor things.
At the bottom of the machine, I found a half-moon shaped, curved piece of metal. It looked like a piece of my car engine.
How the heck did that get in there? “Girls, have you been messing with the carburetor?”
In fact, it wasn’t the carburetor at all. It was a piece of the bra. Who knew there was metal? I always thought they were made of silk and girlie stuff. Nah, they are reinforced up under the lace with the same thing they use to make grocery baskets. Mr. T couldn’t bend it.
A told a lady at work about my problem with intimates. The next day she brought me a bra bag. She told me to wash them separately.
Like who does that? With three daughters, that could be 12, 15 bras a week. Imagine? I’m gonna have to quit my job. I can’t do 15 loads of laundry every few days just because this finicky underpant doesn’t get along well with others!
Imagine, dig them out of the laundry basket, put one in the zip lock mesh bag, wash it, dry it, repeat – 14 more time. Consider what they’d say at my funeral:
Well, he didn’t do much for our community, but his girls always had clean bras.
My boxers love their friends. Nothing makes them happier then to go swimming with buddies. They’re so easy. You can wash them with jeans, sweaters, sweatshirts, dress shirts, socks, dish towels – it doesn’t matter! Hot, cold, warm! Dry til your heart is content. And they last for decades.
Why can’t they be more like a guy’s clothing?
If I was a bra, I’d be thankful I had a good job and stop being so picky.