I Made a Strapless Bra!

strapless bra

I turned a regular bra into a strapless model.  Not intentionally.  The stinkin’ straps fell off in the wash.  I mean, I went to pull a load of laundry out of the machine and this cantankerous garment had wrapped all around itself and around its peers.  I put 25 small articles of clothing in and pulled out one.  One large knotted up blob.

As I pulled the pieces apart, I realized that the bra was the culprit.  Who knew its strap was 108 inches long?  In the end, it had ripped apart and put the strangle hold around the yoga pants and the St. Mary’s t-shirts.  Poor things.

At the bottom of the machine, I found a half-moon shaped, curved piece of metal.  It looked like a piece of my car engine.

How the heck did that get in there?  “Girls, have you been messing with the carburetor?”

In fact, it wasn’t the carburetor at all.  It was a piece of the bra.  Who knew there was metal?  I always thought they were made of silk and girlie stuff.  Nah, they are reinforced up under the lace with the same thing they use to make grocery baskets.  Mr. T couldn’t bend it.

A told a lady at work about my problem with intimates.  The next day she brought me a bra bag.  She told me to wash them separately.

Like who does that?  With three daughters, that could be 12, 15 bras a week.  Imagine?  I’m gonna have to quit my job.  I can’t do 15 loads of laundry every few days just because this finicky underpant doesn’t get along well with others!

Imagine, dig them out of the laundry basket, put one in the zip lock mesh bag, wash it, dry it, repeat – 14 more time.  Consider what they’d say at my funeral:

Well, he didn’t do much for our community, but his girls always had clean bras.

My boxers love their friends.  Nothing makes them happier then to go swimming with buddies.  They’re so easy.  You can wash them with jeans, sweaters, sweatshirts, dress shirts, socks, dish towels – it doesn’t matter!  Hot, cold, warm!  Dry til your heart is content.  And they last for decades.

Why can’t they be more like a guy’s clothing?

If I was a bra, I’d be thankful I had a good job and stop being so picky.

 

 

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18 Comments

  1. Mom

     /  March 2, 2016

    Thanks for the chuckle today. Bras can be ornery things. One more thing that’s good about being a man!

    Reply
  2. Mel Ham

     /  March 2, 2016

    Don’t play innocent here…you have paid much money for good bras. I know this. A good bra can set you back in upwards of 50+ each one. The bra bag is a good thing. Too many tear ups in the wash will motivate you to get more than one. Thank the lord for underwire too. If it wasn’t for that in genius invention, several of us would look like pictures from the 20’s or worse yet Dragon women. I am glad that the girls know what a good undergarment/foundation is…they can pass that on to their daughters. None of us want to look like an orange in a sock. Love you BIL

    Reply
  3. Jane Scott

     /  March 2, 2016

    You have described so well the laundry tangle. Metal, really? That is definitely TMI! Yes, we’ll extol your laundry virtues as we remember you…heck, we’ll just read this blog at your funeral. …wonder what scripture we can use?

    Reply
  4. Courtney

     /  March 2, 2016

    Get a pillowcase (one with a zipper preferably) or you can use one without and secure it at the top with a hair tie. Shove ALL the bra’s in there. Wash delicate.

    Reply
  5. Another thing that helps is if you don’t put them in the dryer. The heat can cause the metal to bend so air drying helps with longevity as well. #GirlTips

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  March 6, 2016

      It bends?

      Reply
      • Lol, yes the underwire can bend which makes them uncomfortable AND result in the wire breaking through. This has happened to me often sadly.

  6. Sarah LF

     /  March 2, 2016

    You don’t have to wash them in a separate load. You just have to separate them from the other clothes so they don’t get tangled up. And you put them in a bag so they don’t get tangled up in the machine parts. Then just wash the whole load on delicate. Love the pillowcase idea. Now you don’t have to buy another bag!

    This is a great site that explains the wash cycles. Bottom line is this:
    Regular (cottons, jeans)—fast agitation, fast spin
    Permanent Press (synthetic fabrics)—fast agitation, slow spin
    Delicate—slow agotation, slow spin

    http://www.mamaslaundrytalk.com/laundry-basics-how-to-choose-the-washing-cycle/
    (curious to know what a “loosely crotched baby blanket” is…haha)

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  March 6, 2016

      I think I wash them all on regular in cold water so nothing runs.

      Reply
  7. CBHall

     /  March 2, 2016

    Hmmm…you might want to check the washing instructions on the bra labels. Unless it’s a sports bra (and I know you’re familiar with those), the instructions usually tell you to wash by hand in warm water and mild soap. Just swish the thing around a little in the sink, rinse, then hang up to dry over a towel rack. Even a child could do it and the bra will last a lot longer.

    Reply
  8. Aunt Susan

     /  March 2, 2016

    you still do the laundry? really?? we do need to talk.

    Reply
  9. Listen up- I’ve never used a bra bag or whatever. You don’t have to do this. That’s crazy. and also, we women usually wear our bra’s a few times before we wash it. Or I do and I’m not gross. Bra bag. good gosh. sure if you have lots of time but you are like me, and we gotta celebrate that we have clean clothes. I use warm water. Makes me feel like they get cleaner.

    Reply
  10. You can do that pillowcase trick or just make sure to hook all of the bras closed and put several in the mesh bag together, then wash. Just don’t machine dry. All of my bras go in to the bag together. None of this one per wash nonsense. Cold water, regular wash. My washer doesn’t work well on delicate, so I have to use the regular wash. The only times I’ve ever hand washed bras is if we are on a trip and I need to clean one overnight without paying to wash a load in the hotel laundry.

    Reply

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