Looking Up!

Bruce Julie Tux

It was a bit over a year ago when I told a close friend I was headed to Charlotte, NC, for a work meeting.  This friend suggested I contact a sorority sister of hers, “Danny, I think you’d really hit it off.”

I wasn’t resistant.  I’ve been out on a number of dates over the past five or so years and although I hadn’t found Miss Right, I’ve met some interesting women and had enjoyable conversations.  People are fascinating and mostly nice.

I wasn’t overly optimistic, but I certainly didn’t dread the date.  I could always use a new friend.  Besides, she lived two hours away.  This relationship could easily dissolve simply by staying close to the Wake County line.

What I didn’t expect was to be totally captivated by this incredible woman.  What I couldn’t imagine was that I would start a relationship with someone who would emotionally fill me up in a way I hadn’t been filled in a very long time.

My mom has prayed for this for seven years.  I guess I haven’t because I had my plate full with other pressing issues.  It seemed insurmountable to heal enough from my loss to ever be open to a relationship again.

But BAM – it hit me.  It hit me hard.

The past seven years have been tough.  Don’t get me wrong, my girls and I have had really, really good times together.  But there are roles that they can’t and should not have to fill in our family.  It’s simply not their responsibility to ensure my happiness.  I have to figure that out on my own.

I think I’ve done OK, but man, to share the emotional load, to open up, to laugh and cry with someone again – someone who really cares about me in a different way than my parents or my kids – it sort of rounds things out.

I had forgotten.  I had filled my huge void with busy – running myself ragged so I didn’t have to sit still long enough to in fact realize how lonely I had become.  My kids were moving forward.  My friends were moving on.  I was not.  I was simply running in place.  Stuck in the middle.

Now, I breathe again.  Not just short gasps.  No, because of Julie, I’m taking deep, thoughtful, life-filling breaths.  She is a beautiful, optimistic, capable, happy, ball of fire!  We fit.

Movement forward isn’t always easy nor steady, and I bring a lot of baggage to the table.  But I think, instead of pushing it aside, she’s going to help me carry it.  She seems to see things in me that I don’t even see in myself.

In my darkest days, I never imagined happy like this.  I can’t believable that I found it.

Bruce and Julie

 

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51 Comments

  1. Cynthia Feathers

     /  May 24, 2017

    This is wonderful news, Bruce. You have done an amazing job raising your girls and helping them move forward. It’s great that you have found someone who makes you feel happy again. Congratulations!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 5, 2017

      Cynthia- my last just graduated from STS on Saturday. I’m having withdrawals. Hope all is well!

      Reply
  2. Fran Yohman

     /  May 24, 2017

    So very happy for you!!!!!

    Reply
  3. Jo Nance

     /  May 24, 2017

    I am deliriously happy for you and for Julie! Please visit soon and let us meet her!

    Reply
  4. As an avid reader of your blog as well as your book this makes my heart so happy !! We live in Raleigh and I remember reading about your family in the newspaper …..you are such an inspiration to so many and your dedication to your family was always apparent. SO thankful you have found someone special, but she too benefits as she landed quite a catch ! Thanks for sharing your good news !!!

    Reply
  5. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Reply
  6. Danny!!! I’m SO happy rn coz I’ve prayed for this, for you too. Joy!

    Also quite encourages me. Two years plus, post horrible, horrible end to a 5 year relationship has had me running for so long that I forgot what it felt like. Out of the blue it hit me, while minding my own business, recently. Still mulling on whether to tell her 😅. Quite encouraged on reading this. You’ve made me day.

    Yay!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 5, 2017

      Hang in there man – you’ll do the right thing.

      Reply
  7. That is wonderful! So happy for y’all!

    Reply
  8. Linda Leobard

     /  May 24, 2017

    Congratulations! I’m so thrilled you have found happiness with someone! She must be really special!

    Reply
  9. Cathy

     /  May 24, 2017

    Reading this makes me smile for you from ear to ear! So happy for your happiness!

    Reply
  10. Steve Montgomery

     /  May 24, 2017

    You made my day, my Good Man. I knew that one day “she” would win your heart over “busy” and “ragged”.

    While, still hunkered down here in MY own Real Full House, my 3 middle schoolers are literally sucking my will to live. Yet, your very special post today gives me hope that I will someday prevail over such evil in our home and find true love myself!

    Peace, Blessings, The Very Best of Times and Cheers to you both!

    Steve Montgomery
    Charlotte NC

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 5, 2017

      Hang in there man. There are hard times but the good ones are to follow. You will find an incredible future – it just takes time. Hit me up when you’re in town.

      Reply
  11. Vicky M. Langley

     /  May 24, 2017

    How beautifully you put into words such profound thoughts! I am thrilled for you and for the girls and for Julie.
    Tell Bailey hey. I cherish the video she made of Marty and Leann’s wedding 2 years ago next Wed.
    Vicky Martin Langley

    Reply
  12. Ac Snow

     /  May 24, 2017

    Dannty….We’re so happy for you…you deserve another opportunituy for a full life…..On Father’s Day, I’ll remember you as an example of a father superlative….ac——————————————–

    Reply
  13. Mom

     /  May 24, 2017

    This makes us so happy! We have watched you for 7 years, and we’re now into our eight, as you put on a brave front and made your way as a single man squeezing all the joy you could get out of your life and making it good for your kids. I remember when you thought you could not make it through and that same day, after a long conversation in my bedroom, you decided you had no choice…that you had to make it. That day you left with a new determination. And you did it! You put on a brave smile, told a joke and did what you had to do and did it well. You raised three beautiful girls who are fine young ladies and had some good times doing it. Well done, son. Now they are on their way to building their lives and it’s time for you to find the joy and excitement they have about life again. We are so happy for you and for Julie.

    Reply
  14. Joe M

     /  May 24, 2017

    Incredibly happy for you my friend! Can’t tell you how much hope that gives me and I’m sure anyone else in our shoes. You deserve all the joy and happiness life has to offer. I’ve only been doing this hard life for 2 years, you’ve been doing it for 7 (although I do have twice the kids ;-)! Congratulations!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 5, 2017

      You’re gonna make it man – just have to dig in for a time. HOpe all is well!

      Reply
  15. Aunt Susan

     /  May 24, 2017

    So when do I get to meet this great new person who has helped you? I am so thrilled that you have found someone who appreciates your sense of humor and funny “quirks” Lisa loved that about you and I think maybe Julie will too, or maybe does, I hope so. I want to see ALL of you so happy and living on, I think Lisa does too.

    Reply
  16. “You look so good in love.” George Strait

    Reply
  17. Faye Humphrey

     /  May 24, 2017

    So very happy for you Bruce. I have admired the way you have handled these past few years. Now it is your time to have a wonderful life. Congrats to you both.

    Faye

    Reply
  18. Leslie

     /  May 24, 2017

    You know Brad and I are ridiculously happy for you! And we have loved getting to know Julie. Life is a crazy ride and we all need someone to share it with!

    Reply
  19. Laura Reynolds

     /  May 24, 2017

    It is a small world! A friend of yours from Raleigh years ago, is friends with my best friend here in Charlotte and shared your article asking if she by chance knew Julie. She does! She also knew that I am good friends with Julie and shared your post. It gave me chills, brought tears to my eyes and made me smile. She is everything you say-truly she is beautiful inside and out. I am so happy for you both and have heard that you are pretty spectacular yourself! I can’t wait to meet you!

    Reply
  20. LouAnn Vaughn

     /  May 24, 2017

    Julie is indeed a special woman and it does my heart such good to hear you publicly discuss your feelings for her after the pain you’ve felt so deeply and fully. You two are a special pair. Scott and I look forward to getting to know you even better, cause we sure plan to spend more time with Julie in the future! Climbing that big ole mountain has bound us together with Julie, Lizzie and Will in a serious way. Thanks for opening your heart and sharing in the vulnerability that makes life so rich and meaningful. Here’s to you both!

    LouAnn Vaughn

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  June 5, 2017

      I look forward to our time! But not on a mountain.

      Reply
  21. James D Johnson

     /  May 24, 2017

    Good for you and her!!!

    Jim Johnson

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Reply
  22. Rebecca Bue

     /  May 24, 2017

    Just need to tell you how thrilled I am for you! This blog entry made my week! I have been following your blog from the beginning and am just so happy for you!

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Reply
  23. Elena

     /  May 24, 2017

    Bravo! So glad for ALL! We toast the new journey and wish you only sunny days ahead! Hope this means that Wake County will be home to another strong woman!

    Cheers!
    Elena (STS mom)

    Reply
  24. Wayne

     /  May 24, 2017

    Bo-
    For almost 58 years your mother and I have been fortunate to have each other for love, for support, for laughs, The thing we’ve wanted most for you and your brother, other than a strong faith in God, has been that you have what we have. Life (notice I didn’t say God) took that from you. You have made the very best of a most difficult situation. You’ve been a very loving, patient, caring Dad fulfilling two roles for your daughters who reflect both their mother’s love and early training and their Dad’s continued guidance to the point of reaching adulthood well prepared for life. Through your workshops and speaking, you’ve used what you learned going through all of this to bring information to doctors and nurses about what it means to be the patient and loved one and how they can help make it easier. You’ve used your blog to bring hope to those who face similar battles and those who don’t to have some idea of what it means to parent alone. And all the time you’ve brought us laughter. The fact that your brother has found happiness in his marriage and hopefully that, you have prospects for the same, makes your parents “rejoice and be exceedingly glad!” Whatever battles you’ve fought to get to this place will be worth it. And I know that Lisa is happy for both you and the girls. She gave you her blessing and so do we. Dad

    Reply
  25. Dee from Tennessee

     /  May 25, 2017

    This makes my day – my week !! So happy for you from a long time reader from East Tennessee . God bless you ; God bless . ( Happy , happy!)

    Reply
  26. So happy for you! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    If you have time, please check out my latest post about Brick &Liquor Cocktail bar – https://tootinghustle.wordpress.com/2017/05/24/brick-and-liquor-in-review/ and let me know what you think!

    Happy blogging! x

    Reply
  27. I cried for happiness for you. Congrats and have fun!

    Reply
  28. Evie Lichti

     /  May 25, 2017

    You go, Boy! Blessings and happiness ALWAYS! Continued prayers . . . Evie

    Reply
  29. Helen Rentz

     /  May 26, 2017

    Oh Bruce, I am smiling ear to ear. My heart is so happy with this wonderful news!
    Love you and your wonderful family so so much! 🙂

    Reply
  30. I’m extremely happy for you. I hope things continue to look up for you. Sending Hugs💓💓💓

    Reply
  31. Congratulations!! So happy for you!

    Reply
  32. Dotty

     /  May 31, 2017

    Saw your mom and dad Sunday and they shared the news with me. She sounds like a lovely woman. Can’t wait to meet her. I’m very happy for you.

    Reply
  33. Christine Lowder

     /  June 5, 2017

    Thrilled!!

    Reply
  34. Carlin (aka, your favorite niece)

     /  June 6, 2017

    We love both of you! So happy that your paths crossed! What a special lady, she is truly a joy to be around. Just like you, Uncle Fluffy! See you in Charlotte soon?

    Reply
  35. Wayne Campbell

     /  June 7, 2017

    I have so admired you and your girls over the years and the way that you have served such a wonderful dual role and now I am so VERY, VERY happy for you and Julie. I feel that she is fortunate to have the love of such a good man and the love of such a good family. The BEST to all of you!

    Reply

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