Words, A Generous Gift

bathroom pic

Lisa did a good thing right before she died.  She wrote a very simple card to me telling me she loved me and that I had done all that I could for her.  She essentially said, “No guilt Danny.  No guilt.”  She told me to move forward in my life – to remarry.  Her exact words were, “You’re not good by yourself.”  Yeah.  She knew.

What a generous things for her to do.  Selfless.  Not surprising.

I have no guilt.  I have no angst about moving forward with my girlfriend, Julie.  I don’t know if I would have without the final check off, mybe so.  But it surely is nice not to question.

In a way, those who know they are going to die have an advantage.  If they choose, they can get their affairs straight.  They can share how much they love their friends and family.  They can help alleviate any feelings of guilt.  They can plan with their loved ones.

One would think that someone like me would fully be prepared to die.  I’m not scared to die, sometimes it is actually more scary to live in this world than to ponder death.  But I don’t think I’ve done a great job of planning for what could come.

Do my kids know that I absolutely adore them?  And not in a general sort of I love you way.  Do they know why I love them, individually?  Do they know what I think is most wonderful about each of them?

At some point over the past year or two, my parents wrote a letter to me just to let me know they are proud of me.  It’s framed in my bathroom (my favorite room in the house).

Do those I work with understand their importance in my life?  How they’ve stretched me and made me grow?

Am I vocal enough with Julie about my feelings for her?  Danny Tanner is not always easy to love.  I come with a lot.  I am thankful she’s in for the long haul.

Have I thoughtfully thanked all those who stood by me in my darkest times?  The ones who tossed my up on their shoulders and carried me when I couldn’t walk myself.

Oh, they’ll get their reward in heaven, but wouldn’t it be nice if I took the time now to let them know that I haven’t forgotten – that I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.

I hope I don’t die tomorrow.  I am not prepared.

 

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8 Comments

  1. Mel Ham

     /  August 30, 2017

    love you .

    Reply
  2. Kim Rebecca Hasty

     /  August 30, 2017

    Thanks for continuing to share words of love and wisdom. It doesn’t surprise me that Lisa would leave a letter as you describe… a true gift from a loving heart. To receive the letter from your parents was also truly a blessing.

    Reply
  3. Cancer’s only real gift is the time to say what you feel and the urgency to share those words with the people you love. How great that Lisa’s generosity lives on in you and, I’m sure, your girls and thank you so much for sharing with us.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  September 10, 2017

      Hadn’t thought of it that way. Wish it didn’t take cancer for us to do that.

      Reply
  4. Donna Offterdinger

     /  August 30, 2017

    You are a wonderful and loving man, Dad, son and friend. You are filled with integrity. You deserve every happiness this world has to offer. You continue to inspire many with your honesty and we are grateful for you. Sending you so much light, love and joy. Live!
    💖🌈🦄

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  September 10, 2017

      Thanks Donna. Missed you this year!

      Reply
      • Donna Offterdinger

         /  September 10, 2017

        Ed & I missed you too! We would love to see you if you are up this way. We are so happy for you💖

  5. What a gift Lisa gave you, but what really got to me was your parents each writing you. That had to feel amazing. I’m so very happy for you. Cheers!

    Reply

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