Spreading Wings

Lucy graduation

I know – I logically know that the progression is natural.  They are born.  You cuddle and cradle them.  You feed them.  You attend all of their school events and dance and piano recitals.  You help them with their homework and clean their rooms and braid their hair.  And then… they leave.

It makes sense.  We all did it.  It is normal.

And yet, when they toss up that tasseled cap with such exuberance, a little piece of me flies away too.

DJ did it.  Now it is Stephanie’s turn.

There is part of me that is relieved.  There were times that I never thought we’d make it, especially after the loss of Lisa.  There were days that I would have relished less responsibility, less little people fully dependent upon me for nearly everything.

But not today.  No.  Not today.

If I could bundle her cute little self up in a blanket and walk back 15 years, I’d do it in a minute.  I’d go back to her falling into a deep, deep sleep on my shoulder – drool and all, sweet soft cheeks nestled on my neck.  I return to the summer that we worked so diligently trying to get her to learn her colors to no avail.  I would ask her yet again to remove her two front fingers from her mouth, her version of the thumb suck.  I’d feed her smashed green beans from a jar and be excited when she spit them back at me.  I’d change her diaper and stay up with her when she had the never ending fever, and she looked at me so drained, so helpless.  I’d sit through another two hour awards assembly just to see her walk across the stage for six seconds.  I’d buy another leotard – damn those things wear fast, and the expensive shoes from Uniquities that made her prom dress look just right.

This time, I’d do it all with a great big smile on my very tired face.

Yep.  They grow up.  And we take their presence for granted until they’re gone and the house is quiet.

I’m so proud of this kid.  She is smart and poised and gracious and caring.  And I just enjoy being with her.  Not everyone can say that about their child.

I’m thankful for our time.  I’m excited about the future.  I miss the past.

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8 Comments

  1. Jo Nance

     /  May 30, 2018

    Love.

    Reply
  2. Exactly. Well done, Dad.

    Reply
  3. Mom

     /  May 30, 2018

    You dig into my mother and grandmother emotions with that one. The time spent tucking them into bed at night was one of my favorites. Nothing like those precious, bonding moments. BUT…they move out, come back, and sooner or later some of them bring cute little clones of themselves so you can start over loving them. It is a sad but happy time. Somehow we live through it. I think they will come back just to get hugs from Dad. Never fear, they do come back and they love their Dad more than he will ever know. You have been their mainstay and that is always needed. Thank you for coming back home to touch base all these years. You have set the example for your girls.

    Reply
  4. Velma Gray

     /  May 30, 2018

    Beautiful post….so true and at the same time so sad….you’ve been remarkable and I’ve enjoyed following your journey.

    Reply
  5. Aunt Susan

     /  May 30, 2018

    I like what your mom said and she said it all. I really like the cute little clones.
    two down and one to go, you will make it and you have a bright future planned out for
    ALL of you,

    Congrats to her and to you and to her sisters, they helped!

    Reply
  6. Mel Ham

     /  May 30, 2018

    every family needs a Lucy…Happy for her…All three have made me a grateful aunt…all three beautiful, poised and their own person. I would want to know them even if we weren’t related.

    Reply

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