Ouch, that hurt.

ice pack

My Ice Machine

My shoulder hurts worse than it did before surgery.  I don’t think that’s right!  HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP ON MY LEFT SIDE WITHOUT AGONY?  I LOVE sleeping on my left side.  It’s my favorite side.  I MISS that side so much.

They called me at 3 PM on the day before surgery to inform me that I should be at the clinic at 6:30 AM the next day for the decimation of my arm.  I was also informed I could not eat or drink 12 hours before.

“Can I at least have black coffee?”

“No Mr. Tanner.  Don’t even swallow water when you brush your teeth.”

I immediately opened my snack drawer in my office desk pulling out my stash of M & M’s and Sweet Tarts.  I knew I should begin packing away nutrition immediately understanding the food sabbatical Dr. Isbel was putting me on.

When I was taken back to be prepped the next morning, the nurse asked if I needed to go to the bathroom.  I did.  She then asked if I had any concerns.  I said, “Yes.”

“So, what are your concerns Mr. Tanner?”

“I don’t like needles in my veins.”

“We will deaden the area before we stick one in.”

“Anything else?”

“I’m afraid of blood clots.”

“You’ll take an aspirin a day to help ensure that you won’t develop a clot.  Keep moving around, don’t be sedentary.   Wiggle your feet often.”  She showed me how to bob my feet and toes up and down to avoid this potential crisis.  I began immediately.

“Mr. Tanner, you won’t need to move them until AFTER surgery.”

“I just wanted to practice.”

Another nurse came in and pulled out a syringe.  She said, “This will deaden the area where we put the IV.”  She shoved the needle in my hand.

This is unhelpful.  They stick a needle in your hand to deaden the area so they can stick another needle in your hand.  She was right, the IV did not hurt.  However, I almost came off the bed with the initial injection.  Maybe next time I’ll ask if they can give me an injection to lessen the pain for the injection that lessens the pain for the IV.

The anesthesiologist was the father of a kid who went to middle school with Stephanie.  Because I knew him, I decided I had to act braver.  I didn’t want him to go home and tell his daughter that Stephanie’s dad was a weenie.  It’s a good thing because he shoved a needle the size of an ice pick in my neck and left it there four of five minutes while he maneuvered it around to deaden the nerves in my shoulder and arm.  Had he been a stranger, I would have simply left.

Once they had me hooked to the IV and I had my hospital gown on, I had to pee again.  Geeze this bladder.

They rolled me into surgery and two muscular dudes lifted my frail lifeless body onto a coroner’s type table.  That’s the last I recall.

When I woke up, my fiancé, Florence Nightingale, was in the room.  She helped me dress and fed me Cheez It’s.

My arm had no feeling.  The neck needle had totally deadened my left side which would last about 12 hours.  It felt like I had a two by four attached to my body.

When we got home, Julie told me to rest and headed to the store to buy some provisions.  I wanted to do as she instructed, but the Weed Man had just aerated and seeded my lawn, and I needed to water it.  She left, and I headed out to line up the sprinklers.

When Florence drove up from the store and saw me shoving the sprinkler head into the hard ground, she was NOT happy.  I never knew that sprinkling your yard could have the adversarial affects she described including additional pain, extended healing time and potentially more surgery.  But my lawn is beginning to take shape which is healing in and of itself for me.

I had planned to use bags of peas to ice my arm for the next week (I also had some Green Giant corn kernels in the freezer).  Instead, Florence purchased a machine that pumps ice into a pad that you attach with Velcro on your shoulder.  The doctor suggested I purchase it at my pre-opt appointment but it cost $150 and peas are $1.79 at the Food Lion so I declined.  I’m glad she got the machine.  It feels really good and will have ongoing use.  I plan to fill it with ice next summer and Velcro it to my armpits after jogging.

All in all, surgery went well and a couple of people at work who don’t really like me that much were extra nice on Monday when I wore my sling.  And in approximately 10 – 12 weeks I should be able to lie on my left side.  Eureka!

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5 Comments

  1. Jacquelynn Harris

     /  October 17, 2018

    Glad your surgery went well Bruce. Mac had surgery a couple years ago. Follow the docs instructions, especially with PT. That is crucial. Mac was back to throwing again with Gray pretty quickly. Take care of yourself, I enjoy your posts!
    Jacquelynn Harris (Gett’s /Mac’s wife)

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 28, 2018

      It still hurts more now than it did before! I’m hopeful it is going to feel better in the next few weeks. The doctor said to give it time. HOpe all is well!

      Reply
  2. Jean Ham

     /  October 17, 2018

    I’m taking you with me the next time I have surgery to keep me laughing. I may even send you with your Dad when he gets his knee surgery since you have it all figured out.

    Reply
  3. Aunt Susan

     /  October 17, 2018

    Be sure to share your ice machine with your Dad. How nice of Julie to come help you out and see what living with you will be really like!
    I guess this means you didn’t take the youngest out to dinner for her birthday.
    Did you do this one handed?

    Did

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  October 28, 2018

      We did celebrate her bday in style. It was over a week after surgery.

      Reply

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