The Isle of Man

It is so embarrassing that EVERY attorney in town knows that I got a speeding ticket last week.  I got the ticket and within two days, I received FOURTEEN letters from attorneys offering to help me.  I think I am going to call one of them because it really is not fair that I received this TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLAR fine and blot on my reputation.  I didn’t even mean to speed that day!

I was just minding my own business, listening to A Prayer for Owen Meany, my book on Audible which is like 62 hours long.  I wasn’t even in a hurry, which is very unusual.

Imagine my surprise when this overeager officer, obviously trying to make his end of month quota, flew up behind me.  I was startled!  I looked for an accident around me and pulled over quickly to get out of his way.  And then… he did NOT go around me to help someone in distress, but instead eased in behind me.

I was floored.  Was I in a school zone?  Actually, I may have been.  But it was only 2:13 PM so I knew school wasn’t out yet.

I immediately pulled my YMCA name-tag out of my pocket and laid it on the console, just so he would know I am a nice person (in general, Y people are nice).  I rolled down my window and before I could inquire about why he pulled me over, he said, “Is there a reason that you were going 57 in a 45?”  I wanted to say, “57 is my favorite number.”  Instead, I said, “No.  I didn’t realize I was going 57 in a 45.”  And then I wanted to say, “Why don’t you go catch a criminal or help an old lady cross the street and not bother me?  I am a good person who just doesn’t always pay attention to speed limit signs.”  But I refrained again.  He took my license and walked away.

I have been pulled six other times and only received two tickets, so I was hopeful he would just give me a warning.  On time I really do think my Y shirt got me off because we talked about the officer’s child being in Y after-school.  Another time Lisa was nursing which was very distracting to the officer.  He was so uncomfortable with the whole situation, he just let me go.  When I got pulled speeding more recently in a school zone, for some reason the guy gave me a pass.  I think it is because Michelle was in the car, and I teared up.   Mercy, I just want mercy!  What was this guy’s problem?

Thanks to him, I am going to have to pay a ton of money, and I just drove to the mountains of North Carolina never exceeding five miles over the speed limit.  It took forever, and I felt like such a dweeb.  EVERYONE was passing me.

I don’t even like speed limits.  They are stupid.

I am moving to the Isle of Man off the coast of the United Kingdom.  It is the ONLY country with absolutely no speed limit.  I looked it up on Google.  And it seems like a lovely place.

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2 Comments

  1. Linda Smith

     /  February 12, 2020

    We were just at the courthouse and gave a mere $600.00 dollars for Jennings tickets. # 1 no seatbelt -two miles from home, leaving Food Lion. #2 No car registration which had lapsed. #3 no safety inspection. He did not want to wear his seat belt over his scar for Open Heart surgery. We were so worried about his heart and forgot to go get the car registered. Needless to say they did not want to hear anything about. I was wished a very happy Valentine’s Day with love.

    Reply
  2. Aunt Susan

     /  February 13, 2020

    Speeding ? you? try blasting Patsy Cline, that worked for me in a school zone! while the school was letting out!

    Reply

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