It’s just full. So, so full. My house. Brimming. You can’t walk into the attic. The basement storage room is storaged out. There’s a pathway to get to the old kitchen cabinet filled with… NAILS. Nails and nails all kinds of nails, big ones, skinny ones, sharp ones too. Why do I have so many nails? Because I build a lot of stuff? No. That’s not the reason. I honestly don’t know. I haven’t nailed anything in sixteen years. But there are thousands of them.
Julie had a friend who got rid of some stuff on Facebook Marketplace. So I figured, what the heck! It’s a pandemic. What else I got to do? I’ll try it.
I pulled out the old stuff, jammed in closets and hidden in giant Tupperware. Julie took the pictures and created each item’s description: Antique Tray with Pair Artistry (i.e. old tray with kid Decoupoge); four sturdy stools for a great painting project! I think someone already painted a couple of them – so this would actually be a re-painting project.
But people love my junk. I sold two Pier 1 vases from 1985 for like $30! I bet they didn’t cost $30 dollars three decades ago when I bought them. Ap-pre-ci-a-tion!
One annoying guy had me hold an old cabinet for 48 hours and then didn’t show to pick it up! I was irked! I lost THREE other buyers in the process.
I had these really old dusty topiaries that had been cluttering the fireplace hearth for twenty years. Leftovers from a school auction. I bet I had 35 people after them. One woman hit me up and immediately drove to my house to get them. I blew the dust off before she arrived.
I put the item on the porch; they leave the cash under the front door mat. I fear the neighbors think I’m dealing drugs. Lots of strangers at my front door. They drive up, grab their stash, leave the money, and poof, they’re gone! I haven’t met one of them in person. I sort of like it that way. Feels like a mafia deal:
“You want the goods?”
“Yea.”
“$45?”
“Yea.”
“Pick ‘em up on Bellwood Drive. 5 PM? On the porch, over by the fern.”
“Got it.”
Other than cleaning out, which sort of feels like a household enema, the thing I like the most about this project is the moollah! I once had a yard sale, stuff in the carport for days. I sold $170 worth and hauled three minvans full of leftovers to Goodwill. Last weekend I made $370 on about six items. My phone dings when someone inquires on Marketplace. It’s the sound of cash!
I’m cleaning out baby! I’m ready to go! Anywhere, actually. Please… Anywhere…
The Real Fuller House 