I learned some things at college orientation this week at The George Washington University.

• It’s not George Washington University, it’s The George Washington University. Are there others?   Did someone else try to start another one?
• A pit is formed in one’s stomach when dropping their kid off at a dorm, even if it is only for two nights.
• A lump is formed in one’s throat when one is sitting at an outside bar with a buddy and one sees his daughter strolling down the street with two guys one does not know from Adam.
• A panic comes across one’s mind when one finds out his daughter got home at 1:20 AM after walking home from the Lincoln Memorial with yet another group of unknowns.
• If a skinny mouse eats a fat mouse’s poop, he will get skinny too (one sat in on a biology lecture).
• All the parents at college orientation are old, except me.
• One should never call their child at college.
• As if the school is not expensive enough, GW has a box that you must uncheck on your online bill in order not to donate fifty additional dollars to the library fund when paying tuition. At $60K a year sticker price, one would think the Library should be covered without the additional support.
• The Kennedy Center is a short walk from campus, and they have free concerts 365 days a year. Now you’re speaking my language.
• The reason so many helicopters fly over DC is because there is nowhere to park one’s car.
• Leaving DC, there are four big fat highway lanes that only about six people are allowed to use – which is cruel.
• The relief one feels when one’s daughter is happy is euphoric in nature.